- August 17, 2010
- 7 Comments
- Coffee, Family & Friends, The Love
The IRL: In Real Life
However good or not good it may be (depends on who you talk to)… I spent a good deal of time in the onlinez.
My life is richer, fuller… meaningful-ier as a direct result of the online relationships I have had the privilege to play a part in building.
The thing is… it is surprisingly easy to lose touch with “real life”. I am not talking about needing to do the grocery shopping or laundry, but real-life relationships. But then again… my IRL relationships have actually deepened because of the extra connection we have online. Yet, I am becoming increasingly aware of the fact I need to be intentional to make sure my interaction isn’t solely online — Facebooking, emailing, texting… cyber-coffee, if you will.
To some extent, this gives a false sense of connectivity. Even the people in my online world work to connect IRL. If IRL connection wasn’t important, why would we work so hard to attend conferences, meet-ups, and the like? It’s because there is *something* about eye to eye… a chance to hug or shake hands or simply read body language. I came across this interesting graphic, just today. It doesn’t give more weight to my thoughts here, it just shows I am not the only one thinking about the shift in how we communicate in this techno-social age — 10 Levels of Intimacy in Communication:
My life is changing. Maybe not dramatically, but maybe dramatically. I am shifting from my role as a 100% stay-at-home-mom to an I don’t quite yet know what % work-at-home- (and sometimes not at home) mom. I, like many of my peers today, am juggling balls of time… all of which are too many and too small… Where do the people fit? Where are BBQ’s and coffee chats and impromtu dashes to Dairy Queen? I feel *pass* far more *coffee* to my Twitter peeps than to my IRL friends these days.
I recently hosted a baby shower at my house. I am blessed. I have a wonderful home. It was built for welcoming, for hosting, for sharing. In the chaos of my life shift… the vision behind choosing the home we did has been buried. Being busy… overwhelmed… and on a physical level it has been hard to keep on top of the mess, the dust, the stuff that creates literal piles on the counters. I don’t need my house to be perfect to have people over, but I do have my limits.
The baby shower the other night reminded me. It reminded me of the need I have… the need we all have to connect, share and be loved – in real life. Sure, we can post sweet things on each others 
Facebook walls. We can text funny pictures of something we see, but there is nothing like — the lingering hug… or a long look in the eye needling for the REAL story… or the adoring touch of a friend swooning over your Lisa Leonard necklace… or handing over the cup of coffee you made yourself… or watching someone throw their head back in a hearty laugh. The LOL IRL… that is where it’s at.
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How are you waving goodbye to summer? Answer this question in the comments of this post and be entered to win a $100 Visa gift card!
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7 Responses to “The IRL: In Real Life”
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Jenny,
I couldn’t agree more! I find myself lost in a mirage of online communication over the IRL relationship. My facebook,twitter,blog world has taken a greater place then the real touchy-feely relationship with a live person in front of me. BUT…we need each other! Loved coming to your home for the shower to be reminded of this. You are a great hostess and it is a gift you have. (don’t forget it)
It inspired me and reminded me of why I am changing my house-to accommodate more people!
Thanks for this great post.
Denise
I sooooo agree Jenny!! Online is nice to keep up to date, but it is no substitute for a hug, a shared laugh, a sweet smile… we are designed to be in fellowship, face to face! Thanks for hosting the shower! It was a delightful evening!
So very true! It is easy to get “sucked in” to the online world and forget about IRL world. Sometimes IRL relationships are harder so we avoid them for the OLW and vice versa.
I love this post, mainly because I actually have made a conscious effort to make more *online* friends. I just moved to a different state and since I don’t have a job yet (and am hoping against hope to work from home) I don’t have friends here yet.
I keep in touch with my peeps from back home, but the online peeps I have met recently have made this transition a little less painful. Especially when I think about the hosting we used to do before we moved.
Great post, as usual!
PS – I don’t have to be entered into the contest, as I would have commented anyway, but we bid summer farewell amidst a family death. Needless to say, getting back to a school routine has been welcome to all of us!
As much as I love getting together with my peeps IRL, I am thankful for technology. We live far away from alot of our family and have always been terrible pen pals. But most of my in-laws are on Facebook and I have even gotten in touch with some distant cousins through FB! And I get to IM my husband multiple times a day and not feel like I’m getting in the way of his job…that sounds dirty…
As for the whole summer thing, it’s one last session of swim lessons before getting ready to celebrate my birthday and heading down to the Oregon Coast for Labor Day weekend. I hope the rain stays away long enough to have a truly epic weekend.
I have been blogging for almost 6 years and the question of “is my internet connection vs. real life people connection out of balance” cycles through my life constantly, I’m always weighing each, they are both important.
To celebrate the end of summer, we will take a field trip/day trip to the Point Defiance Zoo. We want to see the Polar Bears!
@thecottagechick – you know how much I love chatting with you IRL about our onlinez
@karen – loved it…
@elizabeth – you make a really good point!
@alana – Totally. I think both spaces provide & meet needs. Like everything – it’s all about balance
@dumblond – oh, absolutely! An you have a blast in Oregon!!! Hapy Birthday Home Sizzle!!!
@blair – Yep, yep… I am always reassessing. As the family schedule changes, so do I