16 years, ya’ll.
The 16 years I had to wait to get my driver’s license seemed like FOREVER.
So have the past 16 years.
These last 16 years have FLOWN, ya’ll.
And each has been filled with lots of marriage-type stuffs.
I’m not gonna fluff it up. It’s effort. It’s concerted, mindful effort. And failure.
And there ain’t no auto-pilot, cuz that would kill a marriage for sure.
16 years of marriage probably means I am entering “veteran” status as far as being married goes.
*snort*
The young pups might want to know how I do it. *said with shakiest voice*
How do I live with a man and not kill him?
I’d say it’s 1 part compromise and 2 parts also compromise.
Add kids to the mix, and a girl finds herself in a very-so-much compromising position.
It is not all about me. As hard as I try.
You know that pop-culture popular adage, “I has gots to do what I has gots to do FOR ME”?
Not so much a victory cry when entering the battlefield of marriage… then add nitroglycerin parenthood.
But really, none of life should be lead with that sort of heart and philosophy. If we are doing what we has gots to do for ourselves… um… I fail to see the fulfillment.
All those people who are so busy living for themselves… Leading the culture’s charge… I believe, end up BY themselves, literally, figuratively, whatever… Because love… does it exist in a forest where no one can hear a tree fall?
Wait. I’m confused.
Ummm…
Fulfillment comes from seeing how you add and grow and benefit others… Love is doing/being what you has gots to do/be for someone else – in need or simply because. Because. This is so in marriage, in the parent-child relationship, in friendships…
(And if anyone feels the need to add, “But you need to take care of yourself!”, I will cut you. We all know that, and I am not saying we shouldn’t take care of ourselves either. So, save your breath fingers and save me a jail sentence.)
My husband and I both, have had to sacrifice… compromise for the sake of the other. We’ve both chosen ourselves over the other… Our compromise has had ranges – from heartbreak or simple inconvenience of our own… All, ultimately, for the sake of the big picture.
I am fortunate. The man I chose so many years ago… is not a man who lives for himself. It’s not just me… nor just him…
WE.
———
Love? Is THAT the “big picture”.
I believe it is just a piece of the big picture. Hollywood would say it’s love, but those stories last 90-120 minutes.
BIG PICTURE, not “major motion picture”.
There are no fairy tales, and young ladies… any man that assures a fairy tale life… just beware. He is probably on the mar-y-ja-wana.
I digress…
I run in the winter not because it feels good to run in 29 degree weather… but because the consistent discipline helps create a beautiful life/body/mind for me.
We stick through the highs and lows… and the worst – the mundane… because it is all temporary compared to the big picture.
The big picture. Life. Family. Love.
And we saw Cake and The Black Keys and stayed at the Alexis Hotel for our Sweet Sixteen.
This is Cake.
!!!!!
The Black Keys!
!!!!!
So, like… CAKE and THE BLACK KEYS??? And a strong guy to keep me from getting mushed to death??? Yeah, TOTALLY worth 16 years of compromise *wink*
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