The Confessional: Phobias, Phears… I mean Fears

I am a pretty brave girl… as long as there are safety measures in place. Ya know, like — reflective vests, whistles, railing, and extra padding.

I wouldn’t say I legitimately suffer from any phobias… but there are things that stretch my muscles of bravery. Here follows my own list of phobias/phfears. I invite you to share your own in the comments.

• I am afraid of posts with no comments. *knees quiver* *ego deflates*
• Weed whackers. I am more afraid of these than chain saws. They’re loud and aggressive. And the “shrapnel” is not unlike baby teeth. *ouch*. I totally think a movie titled Backyard Weed Whacker Massacre would do very well in theaters.
• Chain saws. Do I really need to add to this? The movie has been made.
• Fireworks. It’s true, I love things that sparkle. But prefer flame-free sparkle. Ever since I was little girl, fireworks have gotten my tummy into a twist. Some of my physiological response might be related to 2 specific events — the time my little sister got hit in the belly from a bottle rocket launched from a couple of blocks away, or the time one of those spinny-things decided to chase everyone into the garage… I have always felt fireworks are not unlike heat-seeking missiles… with me and my loved ones being the hottest things around.
• Heights. By nature, I have a more cautious personality. But it has just been in recent years that this sense of caution has turned into sensations of mild-panic and dizziness.
• Rejection. Hey. I’m a lover, not a hater.
• Being on stage. *gasp* I know. We are ALLLLLL shocked. But it’s true.
• Fortunately, my fear of NOT being Awesome and Famous overrides the fear of being on stage.
• The online friend of friend that writes in ALL CAPS !!! ALL THE TIME. I fear meeting them IRL. There is a time and place to go “ALL CAPS”, but the entirety of all of one’s status updates (or Tweets) or comments is NOT O.K. !!! I IMAGINE THEY TALK A LOT LIKE THIS IRL:

• I phear people think I cannot spel guud. Take, for eggsample, the werd PHEAR. I know itz spelled FEAR, but sometimes comidy warrants a misspel.
• Of course I suffer from the standard, spider, snake, and, bee, bear, and coyote fear. In fact, while on the phone with April (The Mental Clutter Coach) tonight… she begged her pardon and the SCREAMED. Because THIS scurried across her bedroom floor:

• I also have a fear of white space. This fear is most recognized in my creative venture as a scrapbooker.

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