Dear Ms. Spot – Pitches Gone Awry

One time, I received a pitch that started, “Dear Ms. Spot…

Ms. Spot?

M’kay…

I am not an online super-star. I just wear glitter often and play make-believe. I have limits. I know my place. I know my “services” do not warrant the same “compensation” or “pay” as many, many others doing great works in this social space…

Dear golly. “My SERVICES”… that sounds dirty andIdigress…

*AHEM* As more opportunities come along, and as I listen to others in the blogging and online community… I am finally accepting the notion that I have value. My voice has value. My time? Valuable. It is valuable to me, to my family, to friends… and to businesses where our voices are a mutual good fit.

That “good fit” is SO important.

And might I add — YOU have value. YOUR voice has value. YOUR time is also valuable.

What I post here… what is in the process of “becoming” here… is valuable. To both of us.

OUR time is valuable. I value the time YOU take to come by. I don’t want to muddy this space, and frankly… I feel a bit protective of you. And me. And you.

For example, how would you feel if I pitched you a single’s site? Not that there is anything wrong with single’s sites, but… here? I was asked by a single’s site to tell you about how great they are. Would you feel a bit… misunderstood… if I went to there? I do have my giveaways & reviews, and such… but they are ones I think make sense — like books, family/women/humor centered items… They are an opportunity for those who would like to click over, and an opportunity to help me provide for my family. Besides, I LOVE to send the “YOU WON!” emails. Love it. I receive the most precious stories of how those prizes have come “at the perfect time.”

Speaking of ME. *coughcough* Have you voted? Yes, it is still about me. I’d hang my head in shame if I wasn’t so hungry for a win! *gives puppy-dog eyes*

So. The above was the wind-up. You want to read The Pitch? Literally – the single’s site pitch? I will share it here, but it is edited so as not to call-out the pitch-ers.

Hi Jenny!

Could you please drop a line in your blog about the launch of our startup,*insert name here* ? *insert pitchiness and big, important sounding words here*

We are not big guys with huge investments behind us and can’t afford to spend millions on advertising. We are just a team of enthusiasts, with an idea which, we believe, will help single people find their soulmate for stable long-term relationship. And I hope your readers will love us

Thanks a lot anyway!

I’ve attached a press-release and a logo of our service in case you’re interested.

*blink, blink*

Mostly, I am protective of my family. Every effort affects my family. So when I am approached by business looking to make money so their families can have food and vacations… *sigh*

I don’t want to be a complainer. Nor a pot-stirrer. 99.9% of pitches of this nature I reply with, “Thank you for your inquiry. I am sorry, but I am not able to work with you at this time.”… give or take a preposition, adjective, smiley face or ellipses.

But the above pitch… was a bump, set… how could I NOT spike? My reply:

Dear *insert lesson-learner here*

Thank you for reaching out.

I also am a business. Like you — I am not a “big guy”, and in contrast… I do not have any investments behind me. Simply put, I cannot afford investing my own valuable hours (time) and quality effort to build someone else’s business for free. Were this outreach reversed… you might also see the flaw in what has been proposed.

i.e.: “Would your singles site like to promote a humor/parenting blogger/vlogger? I do not have a lot to spend on advertising. I am just an enthusiast, with an idea which, I believe, will help people find laughter for a healthier, more joy-filled lifestyle. And I hope your readers will love me.”

Thank you, but I respectfully decline.

Peace and Sparkles,
Jenny

I know these guys are not being mean. They did not intend to imply my time is not valuable. But that is what it amounts to… and this time, I felt like I needed them to know.

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Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

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