- March 25, 2010
- 17 Comments
- Animals & Pets
Dogs and Babies: Diarrhea, Vomit and a Lousy Night's Sleep
Oh. You didn’t click away! Bravo. You are so brave. And sexy. Wow. Are you wearing body shimmer?…
I digress.
First things first… neither the diarrhea nor the vomit was my own. Secondly… the word “diarrhea” is not spelled in a way that “looks right”. Of course, nothing about diarrhea looks right. *gag, gag, gag*
So. I have this dog. Kevin. He’s about 10 months old. Here’s a picture of Kevin and me. I was working with my laptop on the couch, and he decided to snuggle. He’s like a stuffed animal with claws, fangs, noxious farts and slobber… He loves to sit next to me and keep a paw on me. He is also a lot like a co-dependent woman.
Aaanywho.
Vomit.
Are there any parents in da house? Parents… Let’s talk babies. The kind without a vocabulary (pretty much ALL babies, except maybe devil babies…)
Dogs and babies are kindred spirits. Neither “species” can’t speak OUR language, but they definitely have body language and special sounds. Cues, if you will…
Last night, Kevin was giving many, MANY “cues”.
Hindsight is 20/20. I remember when my kids were babies. With each one there were times I misread their cues and ended up with vomit for wallpaper ifyaknowwhatimean.
Today, with a 5, 7 & 10 year old… I am thankful I no longer have to clean vomit or poop from between the slats of a crib thoughsometimesfromthecarpetinthecar….
BUT.
I have a dog. In short… my kids have grown and can speak MY native language. “Mommy! I think I need to throw up!” Even if we don’t pull over in time and only half the vomit makes it into the ditch – at least I knew something was wrong. But from my dog, Kevin? He will speak words only if my life becomes a cartoon.
Since we brought Kevin home at 7.5 weeks old… he has almost ALWAYS slept through the night. *saving grace* One would think all his wimpering and standing at the door to outside last night would have clued me in.
But… let’s go back to babies for a minute. Let’s go back to exhaustion and decision-making.
Say it with me, “NOT SO MUCH.” Right?
Right.
Kevin wimpered and I scolded. He wimpered, and Paul scolded. He wimpered I profaninated. He wimpered and Paul profaninated.
Cuz profanity makes dogs shut-up *sniffs for sarcasm*.
“KEVIN! GO!”
At my command (finally) I hear him power down the stairs and then I hear “that” sound. The sound a dog makes when his whole body is working mightily to reject the chew toy he consumed earlier in the day.
*gag gag gag gag gag*
Paul cleaned it up because I would have only made the pile bigger. Thisiswhatido.
And then it ALL happened again – the yelling, the cursing… the vomit.
*gag gag gag gag gag*
Outside. But on my porch because we have 3 acres and no fence and… Sore subject.
I haven’t has such a horrible night’s sleep since I had a newborn.
And when I awoke this morning there was more vomit BUT ALSO diarrhea. Like a pepper mill to a salad… Like a sprinkler to crops… Like a machine gun to an enemy… Kevin was to my poor porch.
********
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17 Responses to “Dogs and Babies: Diarrhea, Vomit and a Lousy Night's Sleep”
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OMG. Its bad enough with kids – with kids, you can run, hold them over the potty (or hold up a blanket to catch it in). Babies are in diapers.
Oh. My.
Luckily you have a hubs that will do the clean up. Mine has a gag reflex like none other. He’d be running for the air freshener, instead. Yup, he’s THAT guy.
On the bright side, I’m guessing you can hose off your porch. (NOt so much with carpeting).
And yes, I’m wearing roll on body glitter. ‘Cause I need something to perk me up. Its a bad day here, too.
Sorry, once I read the word “vomit,” I click away. But I DID want you to know that I put on body glitter before I came to your site.
Good luck with …. all…. that….
Oh man. I’m so sorry. Also, at least it was the porch. Because I doubt you could sand blast your living room carpet.
Also, still laughing at the line “He will speak words only if my life becomes a cartoon.” ahahahaahahahahahah
So sorry sweetie-it’s good that, just like the kiddos, he has his moments where you love him-otherwise we wouldn’t keep them (kids or animals) when they terrorize us like this! Hope he’s over ‘it’!
I feel your pain. We have a 115lb Bernese Mountain Dog. One day my husband thought it would be nice to share a ham/pork bone with him. Needless to say, pork does not agree with our pooch. When I came down stairs in the early morning, it looked like a cow had left several special deposits on our family room floor. This went on for 3 days. On the third day I went back upstairs and started crying. My husband took care of the cleaning that day
With dogs and kids, you get to know your carpet cleaner very well!
P.S. I left you a lil’ something on my blog. And no, it doesn’t smell like the things in YOUR house….
THIS is why I remember the reason(s) we don’t have a pet when I start to go all silly soft in my heart and nearly cave when my kids come to me wanting a dog. There just comes a time when we shouldn’t have to be involved with something that poops all the time.
God love ya, girl. I hope you got a nap today!
First off, your dog has the best.name.EVER!!
Secondly, I hope your pooch is okay. Lots of vomit and the runs are not good signs.
I am very used to cleaning dog vomit. My tardo dog has a weak stomach. He gets car sick and if he eats something other than dog food, I will find out shortly because I will be cleaning it out of my carpet. Except for carrots…he loves those and they don’t make him sick. hmmm…
Arthritis in your pooch can be a major problem that many people never even think of in senior dogs.
This reminds me of our poor cat, Elwood. He had fits of uncontrollable body fluid release at times, and I could always read his cues. This one time I threw him into the bathroom (because it isn’t carpeted) before he burst open. Well, the asinine feline (rest his soul) pulled out the drawers we have in there (don’t ask how) and proceeded to have a diarrhea shower IN the drawers all over the counter, the floor, and EVERYWHERE. When I tried to go in to clean it up, the drawers wouldn’t move and the door couldn’t open.
It was bad.
My dear husband had to take the door off its hinges.
I was never the same again.
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I could get through the post without cringing & closing one eye only because I have the worst gross out factor gag reflex ever. I’m such a wuss. Which isn’t so much fun, when your kid throws up on you–thanks kids (so gross, trust me on that one).
Oh Beth – we are kindred
Michelle – NO!!!!!!!!!!!
Dumbbolnd – Ugh. Animals!
FADKOG – I love you <3
Jules – I gotsta get on that! Thank you!!!
Kevin is like the fourth child you *always* wanted
Whenever i have diarrhea, i just take some Diatabs or Imodium tablets and it gives me some relief after a few minutes..*’
[...] Dogs and Babies: Diarrhea, Vomit and a Lousy Night’s Sleep at Jenny on the Spot [...]
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