Jenny On the Spot: Caffeinated mom, lover of dancing, glitter and glitter.

I have long been afflicted with a condition called “insecurity”. I was a shy little girl. By high school I found myself in a space I was comfortable in…chubby, but comfortable… and some of the “shyness” began to melt away.

If I look at the big picture of my life, I see pockets of freedom and pockets of shyness. Even in adulthood. Were I a scientist, I might hypothesize that the periods of freedom had a direct correlation to the people I chose to let into my life.

During my perceived “shy” periods, I think I was fearful. I was insecure. I lacked confidence — in who I was or wanted to be. Or my weight held me back. I wavered in my own convictions based on who was around. Acceptance, popularity, inclusion… Familiar much? I think I sought out the wrong people.

But I’m older now. I never thought growing older could be a good thing…

As I have struggled and {to be honest} still struggle with desiring acceptance… life and experience has aged me and I have changed. I have become less guarded, more open, a bit louder, a bit sillier, warmer… free-er… and as a result a bit creative-ier :) My creativity has been given freedom to blossom and in that – I have been given the freedom to live life more fully.

It’s hard though… being able to embrace the freedom I am finding in being be the person I believe God created me to be.  I am self-reflective to a fault. If there is something good about me, I can make that a bad trait. So I search inside looking for faults to work on, not realizing I have been building walls, not actually fixing anything. I have spent years building very thick and high walls that have kept me from being:

Continue reading ‘The Confessional – Insecurity, Freedom and Good Friends’

Who knows if this is half as funny as it was to me. But you know how moms are… we all think OUR kid is the smartest, the funniest and cutest…

And really, what happened Sunday morning was probably more adorable and ushy-gushy precious than funny. Maybe. Naw. It was funny. 4 year olds have that effect on life…

Look at the picture. Do you see that little rainbow doo-bob spinny thing in my daughter’s hair? She found it Sunday morning. And she was ever-so deeeeelighted to have found her long-lost, and apparently beloved rainbow hair doo-bob. For when she found it she gasped and exclaimed,

I FOUND MY FING MAMA!!!!

*SMOOOOOOOOOOOCH-SMACK!!!*

MAMA! I JUST KISSED IT!

Oh and did she ever. I heard that *swak*.

Here’s the thing. I get it. I am also an emotional kisser. I too have kissed my beloveds…

After Lucy looked over her lost love… she asked,

MAMA!?

*I love that she calls me Mama, and I love that she speaks in all caps…

IS THIS TWISTY HAIR FING MADE OUT OF RAINBOW LICORICE??!!!

Oh how I long to think like a four year old! Like, how much fun is that?

As we all take on a new week… may you find your own rainbow licorice… be it the gift of 5 extra minutes, be it pre-shredded cheese, be it a chilled mug for your root beer… Delight in the small, but wonderful surprises that are hiding in your Monday. There has to be at least ONE in there somewhere! I’ll be looking to my Lucy. She’s sure to sniff one out for us both :)

***Meanwhile, at BlogHer… do you think we are living in anti-social bubbles? When the words :online and “family are used together… what thhoughts come to your mind? Visit my newest contribution there and join the conversation!

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… so that others can be brave with theirs.”

You MUST watch this video. MUST. It is dynamic. Significant. Moving. Touching. Powerful. Tender. If ever a piece of media reflected a mother’s heart…

Last weekend I went to Houston for the Mom 2.0 Summit. This video by Katherine Center was a highlight of my time there. I don’t know about anyone else, but I often get lost in the “mechanics” of motherhood… I forget to look. I forget to be intentional. I forget the powerful role I play in the lives of my children.

On Friday evening the attendees were taken by party bus to the Mom 2.0 Foto-Fest Gallery. While there, Katherine Center  asked… “What do you do that matters?”… and painted those words on us…

Me and Amy

I know, I posted this pic in an earlier post, but… I love this picture. Amy chose “love”. I chose “shine”. We both added the Twitter hashtag  – #… cuz we are always representin’.

I want to ask YOU… Had you been there… what word would you have chosen? What do YOU do that matters? Because what you do… does matter.

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Here follows a post all about screenshots. These are select things I see on the Interwebzterhaven that make me LOL or want to text my BFF, “SRSLY???!”

Let’s start with The Facebook. Facebook ads to be specific. It’s like Facebook doesn’t even know me. Like, I’m 37. Whatevs.

And virtual horse breeding? FB, what did I ever do to you? P.S. I have a sensitive gag relfex. OKthankxbai.

Then there’s the devil’s number:

Continue reading ‘Screenshots: Category: SRSLY? and LOL!’

Either I need to expose my kids to more things, or I need to continue harboring them from certifiable Awesome. I think I am going try to keep them from society as much as possible because, right now… they think I am THE SHIZZLE! I love this about me them.

For example, I was cutting a tag off a scarf. My Olivia (7) ooozed: Mom. You are SO creative!!!

Me: Why?

Olivia: Because you do things like cut off tags and stuff.

Joel (10): Yeah. You ARE creative, mom.

Me: Oh, and remember, you have also said I am really good at stirring. (my girls are so envious of my stirring skillz)

Olivia: Yeah. You are REALLY good at stirring.

I decided to let the kids have some of their own ego-build-time. I’m a giver. I asked, “How are you guys creative? I mean I know how you are creative, but in what ways do you think YOU are creative?”

Olivia (7): I can knit. You can’t knit. I can teach you!

Joel (10): Video games and technology. I helped my teacher with the computer yesterday. She wanted to put words on a picture… but it didn’t work.

Lucy (4): I am good at Lego building! I can build stairs and houses and people…

Dang it. I hate competition. I figure I won’t teach them how to stir. Then I will at least have something.

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The following statement may or may not alarm anyone… or may. I’m not gonna judge you:

My mind is constantly spinning. Constantly. Like a hamster on a wheel. On uppers. And a caffeine steroid.

I can’t sit without doing something, I can’t do without mullling over a rat’s nest of “to-do” items or stringing words or stories together… or remembering the things I forgot and then forget them until I remember them at the wrong time again. I swear, I go to the grocery store almost every. day.

I make myself NUTS.

When I share my “spinning” state of mind, some people are either 1) “Yeah, me too.” or 2) “You should see someone about that.” With the former I think, “You don’t even know.” And they prolly think, “She has no idea.” And we are so busy in our hamster wheels… And the latter (#2)… are probably right.

I don’t know if it’s because I am a writer-y kinda gal… always formulating stories… or if I am certifiably Of the Crazy. I do know I have an alter-ego that has her own Facebook profile, and this happened AFTER therapy. So. *greases the hamster wheel*

All that to say… I’m an idea girl. But most ideas stay strapped inside… by the chains of time, or commitment, or age (I will never be a Fly Girl), or fear and intimidation, or that there is simply not enough red carpet in the world (i.e. FAME) or crowns.

So when I see videos like the one here, I feel inspired. I cry. Not lying. I breath deep… and the spinning stops… if only for a moment. And I feel it is O.K. for me to be an crazed idea girl. To dream. To reach. To bend. To flex. To fall in and out of love with an idea…

Tips for Better Ideas from Andrew ‘Big Show’ Blodgett on Vimeo.

Another tip? Seek out quality idea-makers. Befriend dreamers who dare dream with you… who will help you let go of or build on that first idea… People who think you’re crazy, but count it as endearing. A little weird, but endearing.

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This was me the first morning at Mom 2.0 Summit… all wide-eyed and bushy-tailed. Excited much?

Clearly, and with good reason. It was the stuff dreams are made of — time away from the kids, time away from the kids, rooms-ful of women (and a few men) talking social media, talking and talking and talking, laughing and laughing and laughing, sharing ideas and knowledge, meeting people I have adored for a long time… and meeting new people to adore!!!

I got to pretty much sew seeds of connection with countless People of Awesome. For instance, my roomies:

Awesome Holly of June Cleaver Nirvana, Awesome Laurie of Tip Junkie, Awesome Amy of Mom Spark, Awesome Jyl of Mom It Forward and bringing up the rear… Awesome Me *twitches*. Our other roomie, Awesome Rachael of Todays Mama was off creating her own Awesome outside of our Awesome group picture.

Awesome, huh. Told you.

Continue reading ‘Mom 2.0 Summit – Like A Mountain-Top Experience but Only Higher, Like Maybe A Cloud’

I am going into this with little clue as to what will make We laugh.

Really. I blame it on post-conference exhaustion andwhathaveyou.

I wasn’t a worker/volunteer there. I had no responsibilities, but I am TIRED. Sure, I could blame the fact that I cleared a whole 12 (give or take) hours of sleep over the course of 3 nights. OR I could own up and just say – GOODGOLLYALMIGHTYONALLTHEEARTH! I AM GETTING OLD.

My body is all, “No you di’ent.” My mind is all, “Gurl, you bettah keep up, cuz we iz not thah-ru!” I think I phrased it best on my self-created Facebook fan page. Hey. Be not quick to judge. I’m sure there are bonafide movie stars that roll out their own red carpets… I’m practicing. *waves: wrist, wrist, elbow, elbow* I wrote:

Mercy. My body is too old to keep this up, but my brain is too immature to make me stop!

And within minutes of that post I lost a fan, AND a Facebook friend. I have no idea who.

The Public is such a fickle lover…

Aaanynowhos. In hopes of getting more traffic to my YouTubes making WE laugh without having to reinvent the wheel, I will post an old a classic video. You see, I’m old tired and need to get my beauty sleep. And I am made out of Awesome dependingonwhoyoutalkto…. say… first grade girls. They think I am WICKED fantastic and want pink in their hair like me.

Finally. I’m popular.

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Today, I am in heaven. Most likely. At this writing, I am at home, and not in Houston/Heaven (see graphic to the left, Mom 2.0 BABY!!!). But I wanted to have something fresh for you on Friday, and I know me well enough to know that with a day of traveling on Thursday, the only way I’d get anything up (shutup) would be to schedule a post for Friday – today *cheesy grin*.

I am sure you are worried. You are probably thinking, “Is she safe? Is she having fun? Does she have enough blankets? Does she have a toothbrush? Are they providing her enough coffee? Is she happy? Did she bring enough glitter spray? Is there an open bar(s)?”

You are so sweet for asking. Thank you for your concern.
Continue reading ‘I Am A Lucky Girl – Mom 2.0 and My Roomies’

I decided to give up giving up.

What?

Aaanywho.

I took the kids to the grocery store with me because I love taking my kids into public spaces. Let’s face it, I am a self-punisher. It builds character, and MAN, have I earned my fair share of character in these 10+ years of mothering.

Fortunately, during this particular outing, no character-building happened.

However, it was Fat Tuesday… and all of my fun pallies that work over there at the Central Market were wearing Mardi Gras bead on account of the fact that it was Fat Tuesday.

Being the “with it” kind of gal that I am, I asked my girl Debbie, “Why the beads, yo I love the bling!?” She was all, “FAT TUESDAY” … yadda, yadda, yadda …Mardi Gras!

“I knew that.”

As we walked away, the questions came a-firin’ from the kids squad: “What’s Fat Tuesday? What’s Mardi Gras?”

I said something about Lent.

“What’s Lent?”

BAH! What’s with the inquisition?

I held them off until we got into the car. The public did need to hear my stammering. I mean I KNOW what those things are, but knowing and explaining are two very different beasts.

Ya know? Please don’t make me explain, m’kay? Thankyouverymuch.

I was able to boil down to: on Fat Tuesday people get to indulge (then I had to explain THAT word – jeese!) the day before giving up something you love for 40 days.

Then I went straight into telling them their chores for the day.

What did I get back?

Joel (10): Can we work really hard all day today? Then we can give up working for Lent!

Mom (noneofyourbusiness): You have to give up something you LOVE, dude.

From the back seat, I heard the sweet 7 year-old voice of my daughter…

I love work.

Stinkers.

I am sooooo out-numbered.

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