I have long been afflicted with a condition called “insecurity”. I was a shy little girl. By high school I found myself in a space I was comfortable in…chubby, but comfortable… and some of the “shyness” began to melt away.
If I look at the big picture of my life, I see pockets of freedom and pockets of shyness. Even in adulthood. Were I a scientist, I might hypothesize that the periods of freedom had a direct correlation to the people I chose to let into my life.
During my perceived “shy” periods, I think I was fearful. I was insecure. I lacked confidence — in who I was or wanted to be. Or my weight held me back. I wavered in my own convictions based on who was around. Acceptance, popularity, inclusion… Familiar much? I think I sought out the wrong people.
But I’m older now. I never thought growing older could be a good thing…
As I have struggled and {to be honest} still struggle with desiring acceptance… life and experience has aged me and I have changed. I have become less guarded, more open, a bit louder, a bit sillier, warmer… free-er… and as a result a bit creative-ier :) My creativity has been given freedom to blossom and in that – I have been given the freedom to live life more fully.
It’s hard though… being able to embrace the freedom I am finding in being be the person I believe God created me to be. I am self-reflective to a fault. If there is something good about me, I can make that a bad trait. So I search inside looking for faults to work on, not realizing I have been building walls, not actually fixing anything. I have spent years building very thick and high walls that have kept me from being:





Either I need to expose my kids to more things, or I need to continue harboring them from certifiable Awesome. I think I am going try to keep them from society as much as possible because, right now… they think I am THE SHIZZLE! I love this about
This was me the first morning at 
I am going into this with little clue as to what will make We laugh.








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