Make Me Laugh Monday: Maybe It'll Be Funny in Hindsight

by | Feb 21, 2011 | Life | 12 comments

It’s been a bit, well… busy lately.

My house is… well… feels less like a house and more like a garbage dump, but with more dog hair.

*eyes go wild*

So, my husband, saw me in my glory distress (read: he may or may not have called home to speak to a weepy, sobby, hiccupy-crying wife who had reached the end of her already very short rope)… SO when he got home he was all, “YOU LEAVE. LEAVE. AND WORK NOT HERE.”

I rolled a lint roller all over my body thrice, and thrice times more before heading out the door… to go work at a local/chain coffee/bookseller. I drove 15 minutes to get away from home to work not in dog hair and the puddles of my own tears.

I walked into the coffee shop. I tried to avoid eye contact with anyone with eyes. Which wasn’t hard since my eyes were so practically completely swollen shut from crying anyway, but I digress.

I ordered a coffee and a slice of quiche.  I went to “set-up shop” when I realized all of the outlets were permanently covered.

Hrmmmm…

Of course...

Excuse me sir. Is every single outlet sealed?

Yes.

Uh. Even in the bookshop area?

Yes.

Really?

Yeah. They don’t want people hanging around.

O.K.thenthereisnoreasonformetogetthisfood

Circumstance – 10; Jenny – 0

They refunded my money (thankfully). I went back to the car, and called the Huz. He tried not to, but he laughed, because he knows… he KNOWS I am a MAGNET for this kind of stuff.

You see, it’s not any one thing that is bad or terrible… There are just times when life feels a lot like Chinese water torture. It’s not any ONE drip of opposable circumstance… it’s the relentless drip. Drip. Drip.

Drip.

There was another restaurant I knew had wifi, but I figured with the way Circumstance was courting me, I should make a call and ask a few questions.

When do you close?

I don’t know.

You don’t know?

No.

Uhhh… is there someone you can ask?

Oh yeah! … … … … … I’m sorry. 10.

Do you have outlets that are accessible?

I don’t know.

You don’t KNOW?

Oh …. …. …. Yes we do.

And you have wifi, right?

No.

No? Maybe you just used to… ?

No???

No.

Hold on… … … … I’m sorry. I guess we do.

This is all real, actualy, for real-life conversation. For realsies.

I drove past my home and 10 minutes beyond to finally hunker down for a good 3 hours to knock out a Keynote presentation.

I ate a chicken quesadilla, drank a beer, then ordered coffee and crème brûlée. Some people have blankies they go to for comfort. Me? I prefer a blanket of FOOD.

I finished about 90% of my presentation, and 100% of my food!

Whew?

No.

Enter today – when I was gonna go spit-shine that baby.

Nope. Not.

Gone.

It’s gone.

Gone.

My entire Keynote presentation is gone.

100% of the 90% is g-to-the-o-n-e.

But you know what is NOT gone.

The dog hair.

********

Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

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