Words from the Wise

Since I have nearly gone a full week with braces, I can now impart words of wisdom to those who will someday also have to endure this primitive art of reshaping irregular tooth patterns.

Wisdom Bit #1: The pain is not only from the rough metal against the softness of the inside of your mouth… your very teeth ache. Ache.

Wisdom Bit #2: Be strategic when you decide to set the date – look at the calendar and discern if the upcoming weekend holds celebratory barbecues. Like, say… Labor Day Weekend. Steak and not chewing are not likely bedfellows mouth fellows. I love you steak… I miss you…

Wisdom Bit #3: No pain, no gain. It’s a sad reality, but true. These puppies kill the first several days, but I’ve already noticed some movement. It’s kind of nice to get a little pay-off so soon. The front tooth I was certain would need to be registered as a deadly weapon is filing back to her assigned place in my mouth.

Wisdom Bit #4: Wax on, wax in. You may consume wax. Late at night, while you are sleeping… wax may slip off a brace and enter your digestive tract. In the morning, you’ll seek to remove the 4 pieces you applied before bed, and only find 2.

Wisdom Bit #5: You will get to know your mouth. Brushing, inspecting, brushing, rinsing, waxing, brushing, picking, waxing, brushing, rinsing, flossing. I figure I have added 30 minutes of extra time every day devoted to tooth care. Who has that kind of time? Apparently, I do.

*P.S. Clean knives make good mirrors… beware brace invaders.

Wisdom Bit #6: No nuts. Not even cashews! They didn’t tell me that until the braces were on. Meanies. I suppose I could have read the info they gave me, but why would I do that?

Wisdom Bit #7: You can gain a few pounds even if you’re not chewing. It appears that soft, easy food – like ice cream, certain pie crusts, Hostess cupcakes, cakes, bread pudding, blended coffee, my delightful baked potato soup, and such… not so computable with lower numbers on the scale. All of that and Labor Day Weekend and soft cookies and Coke (I don’t even like Coke much) and anything to fill that mouth-shaped void. Additionally, if one tends to go to food as a source of comfort – there is a lot of comforting to do when your whole head hurts all day and all night.

Wisdom Bit #8 – 21 and older please: Margaritas. My 2 most lovely nights of sleep this first week came on the heels of well-made margaritas. I made them – hee. I have found a good margarita is a lot like a good workout – you gotta feel the burn. Feel the burn.

No pain, no gain. Literally and otherwise…