My Incredible Boy

My boy. He is full of amazing. I adore him with more that my heart can hold. I don’t feel like I deserve to be his mom, but I am so proud to be the woman who gets to be his mom. I am blessed.

When he was a toddler and preschooler, we had quite a time. Looking back, I see his passionate responses were not so much a result of him being destructive or obstinate… I now see his behavior was a result of his compassionate heart. A person with a heart of compassion feels the good, the bad, fear, pain and joy with such depth. Now, take those emotions and funnel them through the mind of preschooler… I doubt I need to tell the tales for one to imagine.

As he has grown, I have seen my little guy grow into a young man… almost 10 years old now. I wish I could have truly seen the shape of his heart back then. I was so distracted by behavior. I feel like sometimes I missed the treasure of his golden heart. I know I didn’t fully, but we all know the trials our little people bring, and it seems there were weeks and months at a time the theme of our lives was base: survival. When in “survival mode” one can miss the small beautiful blooms along the way.

I see deep compassion in my boy. You can’t tell by that picture, though. He is still a boy. He loves light sabers and sticks and weapons and loves to antagonize his sisters. But he also loves them and when there is genuine pain or sadness, I can count on him to be right by their side to comfort either in a physical or emotional way. We love how we want to be loved, right? 

He is still a kid. He needs to be reminded about chores, throws fits, hates showers, asks for stuff at the store, blah, blah, blah… 

And he is sooooo responsible. The first born. I share his curse. I see him struggle with the balance of responsibility vs. being a kid. He values predictability and order, and like his Mama, it takes him awhile to adjust when things suddenly change. He is not a huge fan of change…

Yesterday morning he came to me. It is WASL week (Washington state school assessments), and his “responsible” gene is heading things up this week…

Joel: Mom? What’s for breakfast?

Me:  I dunno… cereal?

Joel: Um. Mo-ooom. It’s WASL week?

Me: Yeah?…

Joel: We are supposed to eat something healthy. 

He hands me the little sheet his teacher passed out last week. It listed all the good food choices for breakfast and snack during testing week. He proceeds to walk ME – HIS MOM (!!!) – through the healthy, test-week food options. He’s a 9 year-old boy. I’m his mom.

Me: *blinking*

Me: Alright. Eggs?

Joel: *looks at spreadsheet*

He doesn’t trust me.

Me: OATMEAL???

Joel: Mom. It just has to be healthy. Do we have healthy snacks? They also can’t be sticky. I need to eat healthy breakfasts all week and to take healthy snacks that won’t make my hands we or sticky.

So. I kinda feel like I need to give him my “mommy card”. 

I can’t help but smile. I think that at 9 years old, he is half-way raised! *freakin’ out* I’ve panicked at the thought lately, but as I reflect on what transpired yesterday morning… I feel like… things might be O.K. Maybe we’re on a good track. He has so much more growing and learning to do. No. WE have so much growing and learning to do… and I feel exceedingly blessed I get to learn and grow with him.

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