- December 19, 2009
- 6 Comments
- Guilt, The Love, Waxing Philosophical
Adoption and Goodwill Toward Men
I just feel moved to write about this treasure… as an outsider. I am not an adoptee, nor have I adopted…
Oh, but to bring a child into a circle of love and family where there was none… moves me deeply.
I hold adoptive families in the highest regard… for the effort and sacrifices they make to be able to make an adoption happen. It is time consuming. It is expensive. It can be emotionally draining and taxing in ways I am certain I have no clue.
I just want to use some of the space I usually fill with silliness to acknowledge families who adopt – whether local or children from other nations. A good friend of mine recently adopted a young brother and sister from Ghana. If you browse the blog of Kristin at The Jag 7, you can read about their journey. It was a difficult and long process, but if you peek, you will see it was worth it all. So precious.
Adoption is so heavy on my mind and in my heart simply because of people like Kristin above… and also because of new connections on Twitter… and one made recently via this blog. I want to tell you about them…
@NuttyElle, my new Twitter friend… she is a spicy one and called me out to buy truffles, for the children. Being the never-on-the-ball (a.k.a. I SUCK) kinda gal that I am, I missed this year’s candy sale *booo*…but how about a little shout-out for Sweet Hope! Sweet Hope is an organization dedicated to helping orphans worldwide. Instead of me knocking out rambly sentences, how about you go visit Sweet Hope. It is too late to order candy this year, but donations are always welcome and according to a tweet she sent yesterday $3000 is going to Mirnoe Orphanage! Visit @Nuttyelle’s blog too - Life of Elle.
I received a comment recently – a comment for my L’Bel giveaway. A question I asked in that post was, “What is a place you have been that makes you feel beautiful?” Lindsey of The Wheeler Journey answered, “The moment my little girl was handed to me in Guatemala was the most beautiful moment and I felt completely joyful and beautiful!!!”
I replied to her comment… I was so touched. She sent a link back to a post that just touched my heart. It is a story on another blog about an 11 year old girl, Lydia, who set a goal to raise $20,000… in 8 days… and if she did – could her family please adopt a specific child with Down Syndrome in Eastern Europe.
She raised over $26,000 in that span of time.
I share all this… because there is so much *blah* around, it seems. And then there is Christmas and commercialism and… It just fills my heart to see what @Nuttyelle is doing, what Lydia is doing, and what my friend Kristin’s family is doing.
What am I doing? What are we doing? I have been so distracted by the busy-ness of living… Have I scheduled away time to be able to… do… or be?
Not everyone is “called” to adopt. But we are all called to something — something good and something bigger than ourselves. Aren’t we? Is life supposed to be about “me doing what I gotta do for me”?
I know people like that. They some lonely folk. I’m pretty sure that if all you’ve been living for is you, at the end… that is all there will be. So lonely. So empty.
I don’t want just me. Even if I am wearing glitter.
Where does one start? Right where we are? Sure! Have you ever noticed how one Cranky Crankerson can ruin your day? Makes me wonder about the times I have turned a good day into a bad one for another person. I feel extending kindness toward others can be a catalyst to greater things. Kindness begets kindness. “Angry” behaves the same way.
Who knows what momentum of goodness has been stifled by a terse word or a judgemental stare.
I want to remind myself and encourage others to step back. Take in the stories of kindness and love… let those things be your momentum… and push it forward for others to continue it… Go big… go simple… just go with kindness and a heart for others.
Of course, for me… you know what this means? Tomorrow I will be hit with the greatest kindness test known to man. That’s what happens when I get all deep-like. That’s why I do it so rarely. I also stopped praying for patience years ago.
I’m kidding. No. I’m not kidding. Pray for me tomorrow. Really.
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6 Responses to “Adoption and Goodwill Toward Men”
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Thank you for giving this important issue some “air time.” My brother has an adopted daughter and while I don’t know all the ins and outs, I can’t imagine our family without her.
And you are so right: never pray for patience!
Thanks for the mention. Some of us find it so funny when people give kudos and congrats to people who are or who have adopted. We get lots of, “oh you did such a good thing and saved this child.” To be honest adoption can be horribly selfish. We adopted because we couldn’t have a biological child. Rather than spend the money on artificial reproductive therapy that would cost thousands of dollars and might result in a baby we went with adoption. Still cost thousands of dollars, but in the end we were guaranteed a baby. See selfish. We don’t think of it as we saved a child. That was never our intention. We feel that he is the blessing to us.
Does that mean that what I do for orphans in Russia is wrong. Absolutely not. I do it because I couldn’t bring those children home. I do it because I know those little babies won’t have mommies to sing them to sleep. I do it because every child deserves to be loved. That is what adopting my son taught me.
Sorry my post got deleted! But, I see how ya do! Whaat-Evvvahh! Well, I really don’t remember all I said. But I will just reiterrate that… I was truly blessed by being adopted. I had the most wonderful parents anyone could have and would never look to them as “adoptive parents.” They were MY parents, the people who raised me as if I was there own, taught me right from wrong, laughed when I laughed and cried when I cried.
I don’t know what my life would be like without my two so-called “adopted” children who I didn’t receive until they were in their late teens! I only know where they could have possibly gone or what may have happened to them if God did not bring them into my life! It has been a truly wonderful and rewarding experience to have those kids in my life and although they are not my “blood” they are MINE! Sure they still see and communicate with their biological parents, but, what really matters is I, yes I, was the one who did not throw them away so to say, I was the one that believed in them, I was the one that gave them the love and nurturing, structure and guidance, they so desperately needed and WANTED!
I love my biological child with all my heart, she is my heart and soul. Jesi & Steven are not biological, but they are my heart and soul as well and Jaden treats them no different! In her eyes, they are her Sissy and brother!
Okay, stepping off the soapbox now! Thanks Jenny-o, you are “MADE OUT OF AWESOME” for this subject!
I have a friend who was adopted as a baby. She’s middle aged now, and she’s very grateful to her family. Her adoptive parents have since passed, but there isn’t a day that she doesn’t think of them.
She says she’ll probably adopt a child of her own in the future. And she’s really one amazing woman.
Thank you all for your comments…
I want to specifically respond to you, elle… I know. I have heard this from other adoptive parents. I have also heard, often, that they (the parents) think THEY are the ones who are blessed – even SAVED because of their children.
Regardless of why, I think it is precious and it is not something everyone does…
So there
And I think you really are nutty 
Hugs and high regards to all who venture into such a journey.
thanks for the shout out for the adoption community! I do feel totally blessed by the two little ones we added to our family. yes, things are crazier, but our life is so much better because of them(and I need to remind myself that everyday when I am about to scream!) Parenting in general is hard, so your encouragement was just what I needed to hear today-thanks!