So… Jenny…

Me: Yes?

Imagined interviewer: You’re training for your third half-marathon. How do you feel?

Me: Good. I still have all my toenails.

Imagined interviewer: Now, you do a “long run”each week… this week was 10 miles, next week will be 11… and then culminating on “race day” with 13.1 miles… yes?

Me: Yep. Except my friend and I choose to prefer to swap the word “event” for the word “race”. You know the saying, “Slow and steady wins finishes the race event”…

Imagined interviewer: What’s your secret Jenny?

ME: Huh?

Imagined interviewer: How do you recover after such long runs? What is your strategy for calorie replacement?

Me: That’s a really good question. I’m glad you asked. I burned over 800 calories today, and veggies can never replace that sort of caloric deficit. Never. You have got to use the big guns. I had a triple grande eggnog latte (from a certain Celestial Siren) and a donut. And another donut.

Imagined interviewer: How do you spell that?

Me: C – R – A – C – K