Please Get Off, I Need To Redistribute The Weight
I am not a huge fan of the ferris wheel.
But my 5 year old is.
Hitherhencetofore… I rode the ferris wheel yesterday.
After 2 short, jumpy circles around The Wheel of Probable Death… The operator stopped the ride, lifted the metal safety-thing and said something to me… something a woman NEVER wants to hear…
I need you to get off so I can redistribute the weight.
*blink blink*
Please step to the front of the line. You’ll be next.
Two things:
- How is a girl supposed to read into, “Please get off our ride, your weight is an issue.”
- You want me to get BACK ON a ginormous unbalance wheel??? WITH MY FIVE-YEAR-OLD???!!!
Lucy and I waited at the front of the line, and the operator called another Carnie to help PUSH THE WHEEL. On account of it’s weight-unbalancedness. By the way, my other two kids were STILL ON THE RIDE. By the awesome strength of the two Carnies… they pushed The Wheel as only they could. The operator then hollered to the people in line behind me,
I NEED TWO HEAVIER PEOPLE!
Best. Day. Ofmylife.
Also onaccountofthefactthat when I walked by that one carnival game where you are guaranteed to win a 20 cent toy for one throw that costs $5… the Carnie in charge of that booth called to me, “Hey! You know we even let models play!”
I am totally gonna start hanging out at more carnivals. I don’t know the last time I felt so thin and sexy.
********
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10 Responses to “Please Get Off, I Need To Redistribute The Weight”
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Jenny, I too rode the Ferris Wheel today with my two girls. I am not a big fan of rides. I did however think I could handle a slow moving Ferris Wheel. I was wrong! I had the death grip on that metal bar the whole time! I was too scared to get out the camera and take a picture. You are clearly a better mom than me
I would have stepped forward for you…..
Awesome!!!!!
I just laughed out loud. GREAT writing! I don’t know if I would have kept my cool. I would have gotten all ghetto.
Never before have I wanted to run away with a carnival the way I do now after reading this post!
Well, at least with a carnival as ego-boosting as this one seems to be! Short of running away (for oh, how I love showers), I’d have been there every day after this. Total carnival stalker. Yep.
Wow!!! You sexy thang!!! And so thin!!! i bet that made you feel good!
GREAT PICS!
Wait, I’m confused. Are you trying to tell me you’re *not* a model?
PS: I love carnivals.
Hell to the NO! Nononono. I hates ferris wheels. If I am going to be that high up, it will not be in a rickety steel basket.
But you are a model.
Just sayin’…
love it! love it!
awesome pics! i think i’m in lurve with your polka dot sunglasses! wherever did you find them?? i need some stat!
That was so great, I think I just peed my pants. =)
[...] If the Carnies and old fellers ruled the world, I’d totes be on the cover of Vogue or Cosmo or [...]