- September 20, 2005
- 10 Comments
- General, Parenting/Family
Of Bon-Bons and Soap Operas: SAHM Misunderstood
I mentioned my garden and how much I enjoy it. I shared how I pop Lucy in the front pack and we water the garden together.
The reply came, \”Oh, that\’s nice. That gives you something to do during the day.\”
I tried to justify and explain why my day is plenty full. I wanted to clearly communicate that for me to nurture a garden is a treat, not just something to pass the time. To the contrary, other things are neglected while I steal time from one thing to do another. Once again I tried to prove my value…
I found myself in an environment recently where what I do is misunderstood, or flatly not understood – conversation was at times uncomfortable and often one-sided. I worked to ask questions and dig into other\’s lives, but very little was reciprocated. Some just do not understand that though I \”stay at home\” with my kids I have a mind (split 3 ways, but a mind nonetheless!), opinions (oh, I have opinions), a degree (was a high school teacher), and a darn charming sense of humor (if I do say so myself!).
I know that the path we (my husband and I) have chosen for our family is right. I do not feel guilty, ashamed or less for \”staying at home\”. I am doing what I want to do. Though I do sometimes feel the need to justify my choice. Actually, I do not \”stay\” at home as much as I\’d like – especially with gas prices so high…
Speaking of Bon-Bons and Soap Operas… Dibs are much better… heehee…
10 Responses to “Of Bon-Bons and Soap Operas: SAHM Misunderstood”
Use the Form Below to Leave a Reply
That\’s exactly how I feel about gardening. I \”stay at home\” with 2 kids and the only time I get to garden is after dark usually. I have PLENTY to do, and if I concentrate on one thing everything else goes to pieces. I feel for you.
I know someone who tells me the same thing about mowing the lawn…..although I do not have any children of my own I understand the stress. I have nothing against working mothers, I was raised be one, but when one questions you about WHY you would give up an “outside life” one question pops into my head. “How horrible are your children to NOT want to spend as much time with them before they gorw up and leave to start their own lives?”….Sorry, I rant!
it\’s one of those things that you just don\’t \”get\” unless you have btdt.
As I layed on the couch yesterday after a very long and exhausting day – I told Scott through tears that I\’m not sure I have what it takes to do this SAHM thing. Give me corporate America anyday – this is WAAAAAAY harder. Not that I want to go back – but that job was a piece of cake compared to this. But – I wasn\’t able to fully appreciate it on the other side. I get it – now, I get it Jenny.
Hey JOTS, I love your site. Funny about the Bonbons… In my family the women all sit around eating bon-bons and painting their nails all day. At least that\’s what the men think! Sometimes being a SAHM can make you in SANE. Hugs to you..Windy Tuttle, Chloes mom.
You won\’t ever have to justify yourself to me…you have my full admiration and support in your fabulous dedication to the most important job in the world. Without mothers, none of the other jobs would ever have anyone to fill them…Keep up the good work. And do take time to treat yourself – we all need it and don\’t get it unless we do it intentionally…
something to do all day…AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Do you remember how hard our moms worked all day? Other jobs are 9-5. SAHM is 24/7. Don\’t justify it; pity those who don\’t understand that the most vital career around is the raising of whole, healthy adults that contribute to society!
I would never, ever criticize the women I know who have kids but work in another job full time. Still, I put up with a lot of underhanded comments from some of them. And I, too, feel like I need to justify myself for their respect.
Hey.. Jenny,
i know where you are coming from.. ! everyone thinks that i have so much time.. since i only need to look after my brat..! if they only knew.. how sleep deprived i am..! ahhahaha!!
hmmm…It suddenly dawned on me recently, I’M EVERYTHING I NEVER WANTED TO BE…a wife, a mom, a stay at home mom, a home schooler…thank you god for changing the direction of my life into a infinitely more fulfilling life than what I had planned…some days I just remind myself what my life could have been -maybe not bad -but certainly less than it is now. Jenny I get it.
Um, how are you?
Amen!