- December 9, 2008
- 20 Comments
- General, Health & Beauty, Humiliation, Life of Jenny
My One Big Eye
I have a pet peeve. O.K. I have several pet peeves. HOWEVER… there is something about Me that bothers Me very much… I see it during my self-affirmation time in the mirror all day every morning so often. And that issue is… my ONE BIG EYE. I am different than Mike Wazowski though…
He has only ONE EYE. Me? I sport two ocular units. Mike is also green. Me? Not so much — my skin favors a more “tan” hue… but I digress…
Now, I am not criticizing my looks. I am merely analyzing my facial imbalance. I mean even Julia Roberts — with whom I rival in beauty according to some brilliant people with exceptional vision — SHE has one big eye… right???
Curses! Ugh. At least I don’t look like Geronimo. Double curses!!!!!
3 years ago this month I had a tumor (schwannoma) removed from my right orbit. You should have seen the looks My Public gave me when I walked about while that puppy was healing!
The good news was the tumor came back benign. The sad news… I… I didn’t realize the surgery would… *tears up*…
I spoke with my surgeon a couple of weeks later. I said, “O.K. I’m gonna give it to ya straight. My right eye was already bigger than my left and now… and now…”
You want to know what he said? He said,
“Your right eye is not bigger than your left, your right eye OPENING is bigger.”
Why I outta…
Awesome. Fast forward 3 years. Here is a picture of me AND MY BIG EYE OPENING posing for a picture this Thanksgiving…
Why don’t I give you a closer look:
Thank you, I do have beautiful eye(s). They are a window to my soul… windows which apparently are two different sizes. If I ever meet you in real life, it’s O.K. to stare. I’ll just pretend you’re staring at my flawless… Uh… I’ll just… I… Uh…
Hey. Aren’t eye patches coming back “in”? I hear “Pirate” is the new black for 2009… Argh!
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20 Responses to “My One Big Eye”
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Aw, you’re WAY prettier than stinky ol’ Julia Roberts with her upper-lip-too-close-to-her-nose thingie.
When I smile, my left eye goes all squinchy but my right eye stays big. I never thought I had one big eye—but rather one squinchy eye. Does this make you feel better? Probably not.
(Never heard of a schwanomma!)
I like your one massive eye. Its gravity pulls me away from the more crooked side of your nose when I give ya a kiss. Happy 14th anniversary baby!
I never noticed until you posted this…seriously. Never.
And now that I do see it, it looks like you are winking…like you know something that no one else does…shhhhhh.
You are beautiful, girl.
ARRRRGGGG Matey!!
It is difficult dealing with even minor imperfections (I wouldn’t know but I must assume) hahahahahahahaha, sorry I made myself crack up in your blog- but look at the love for you dear. Your friends love ya – your husband adores you – it might even be said that it adds “character”. And hey “HAPPY ANNIVERSARY”
You’re gorgeous! and I give you permission to deck the hubs for his nose comment above.
Happy Anniversary!
I can only raise one eyebrow, I have a ginourmous mole on my cheek, and at my tender age, I still have massive acne. Does that help?
You are beauty walking, (running, dreadmilling, zumbaing, swimming, marathoning, mommying), chile-never forget it!
I have one big eye opening too! We should start a club. I tell my kids that my eye grew after I had them so that I wouldn’t miss any of their shinanigans. It worked too….until they got smart. Now they just tell me to turn my head a bit when they take a picture.
Shut up! I never noticed it. I have a bag under one eye and not the other. God’s humor knows NO boundaries!
Join my club – I too have one beautiful eye bigger than the other and my husband – the photographer who notices EVERYTHING – say no one notices but me. Love him.
JD – You. Complete. Me.
Husband – I’ll deal with YOU later.
Dumblond – *wink*
Lisa – Of course you wouldn’t “know”, so that is why appreciate your friendship even more. I don’t take my friendships with The Perfect for granted!
Musing – *cyber hug!*
Green – I’m verkelmpt… *sniffles*
Jenn – AH! That’s it! I don’t need eyes on the back of my head – I have a ginormous one! I’d rather have a ginormous eye than a frek back of head eye, anyway. One Big Eye people unite!!!
867 – I love bags!!! Is it leather? ; )
Kathleen – MWAH!!!
I would NEVER have noticed! Seriously. I just saw you yesterday, and I didn’t even see your gaping eye hole! I might have been distracted by your two different sized arms, or maybe your limp? I am just kidding.
I don’t think anyone has equal parts. You are Beautiful!
Holy or is it Wholly Crap Jennygirl–how many times have I seen you–I have NEVER noticed your little/big eyenesses–all I see is the sparkle from inside shining through!! also, just to bring light to one of my many asymetrical qualities–my left nipple is about 4 inches lower than my right(thank goodness for victoria’s secret bras!!)
I am in the “never-noticed” group. And I have a big eye myself, so I usually notice these things.
I think you are just making it up and have some mad photshopping skillz!
I have one big eye. Like Mike W. Just One. Big. Eye.
Is it noticable?
Jenny, Jenny, Jenny. In all the pics I’ve seen of you, I can honestly say I have NEVER noticed. Never. No lie.
It’s interesting to me that you posted this and I’m glad you did. I have an eye imperfection that I’m very self conscious about. So much so that I love wearing glasses because I feel I can hid behind them. So silly of me. So silly of you. You are a true beauty!
I love JenGi’s comment about God’s humor having no bounds. True that fo shizzle.
Hi Jenny, I agree with everyone else. You’re beautiful! And your surgery has healed very well! I found your blog after googling “eye schwannoma.” I had a schwannoma on my eye as well – on the white part of the eyeball. I had no stitches. Was yours below the eye? My eye doctor (who removed it) had never seen or heard of a schwannoma prior to the biopsy results. I had heard of schwannomas because my mother has menengiomas on her brain (which are similar tumors). The presence of these types of tumors usually indicates Neurofibromatosis 2 (NF2). However, my mother recently had the blood test to see if she has NF2 (which can be hereditary) and she doesn’t! So we’re at a loss as to why we both have gotten tumors. I was wondering what you were told and if anyone else in your family has developed tumors?
[...] spot here on the interwebz. It seems the most popular traffic-driving search phrase was “Julia Roberts“. Yes, my celebrity [...]
[...] spot here on the interwebz. It seems the most popular traffic-driving search phrase was “Julia Roberts“. Yes, my celebrity [...]
[...] [...]
Ahahaha…came across this under another post today. I think everyone has one eye that appears to be bigger than the other. Whether it’s the opening or whathaveyou, I know not. There you have it. You are not alone my dear friend. My left eye is the culprit!