Maybe I Need a Good Story…

As I checked-out at the grocery store tonight — by the way, the store – The. Entire. Store. Was. Out. Of. Powdered. Sugar. Out. Of. Powdered. Sugar. Can you hear me throwing my arms up in the air?

I digress, the checker asked about my eye. Some people ask about my eye, some try not to stare, and some may not notice because my glasses camouflage the affected area quite well. I told the checker-gal the story – “tumor”, stitches, benign (which is actually quite wonderful news!!!), yadda, yadda, yadda – we wished each other a Merry Christmas and me and my swollen eye carted our purchases to the car.

As I guided the car through the rain and dark, I was struck; not by another moving vehicle, but by a thought. I have this bum eye – the swelling, the stitches, a bit of shiny gleam when I have my antibiotic ointment on, and even a bit of redness. I could take another path. I could tell a tale so incredible, so amazing I could evoke a gasp, a wince, or maybe (just maybe) get a “hand-over-wide-open-mouth-because-it’s-so-incredible” reaction! I’m getting giddy just thinking of the possibilities…

Maybe I should be saying:

I just got back from Hawaii. I went cliff-diving…

A bungee-jumping accident…

I am a hang-glider-tester-person. The hang-glider didn’t pass the test…

I’m in construction, it was a bad situation with a 2×4 and a nail gun…

It is a work-related injury, but I can’t tell you what I do or I’d have to kill you…

I fell off the couch and landed on an ornament…

I fell off the couch and landed on a tinker toy…

I fell off my porch and landed on one of my sharp tin votive holders…

I finally got my official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle and I shot my eye out!!!…

I went to a peace rally…

Shark attack – my amazing story of survival will be featured on the Discovery Channel\’s newest hit “I Shouldn’t Be Alive” next month. Check your local listings…