Just Say "No!" to Dressing Rooms

I headed to a local running store today… I needed some beverage enhancement, and stumbled upon a “20% off all apparel” sale. Yip!

I moseyed, whilst the Luc-meister moseyed – she spent quite a bit of time perusing the wall of “essersize shooooes”. You may be aware she has a “thing” for shoes. I found a lil’ somtn’ somtn’ and another lil’ somtn’ somtn’ to try on.

If you had been standing outside my dressing room (which you very well might have been – because it’s one of those rooms that is only a room with a partial door right off the “show room floor”), you would have heard this… after I had undressed down to my unmentionables:

Lucy: “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW. DAT’S UH-GUSTING!”

Mortified Mother, through angry teeth: “Shhhhhhh. Don’t say that so loud.”

Inside Mortified Mother’s head: “Plastic surgery is such an option…”

Lucy: “Dat’s uh-gusting!”

Mortified Mother, through clenched teeth: “Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shhhhhhhhhhh.”

Since the damage had been done, I decided to Call. Her. Out.

Mortified Mother, flashing gang signs: “OK, (girlfren’) so what’s so disgusting?”

Lucy: “Dat.”

Mortified Gangsta’ Mutha’: “Whu?”

Lucy, pointing at my bruise: “DAT!”

Mortified Mother, making sure to say it loud enough for the 4 men in the store to hear: “Oh… I know honey, that IS a REALLY BAD BRUISE. Mommy got that while break dancing, didn’t she…”

When I was young and naive and dreamed of my children… THOSE children adored me.

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7 Responses to “Just Say "No!" to Dressing Rooms”

  1. Candi says:

    She really could have said something much worse, consider yourself lucky!!! LOL

    My daughter always says, mommy, you look so pretty when I am trying things on and I just know when I walk out of the dressing room other people are thinking, ya right, I highly doubt that SHE looked that pretty. :)

  2. ROFL!!!! I’m so sorry to laugh, but that was too funny. Why must they point things out at the worst times? Just remember this for later use….like when she’s in high school ;)

  3. Nicole says:

    Taking children shopping is one of the joys of motherhood isn’t it?

  4. Jennielynn says:

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Missy Hoohaw has been known to pop off a time or two. Usually, she’ll say, “Ewwwww, dat’s ‘tinky! Deeestugsting!” This is why I only shop on Saturdays and leave children at home with Daddy.

  5. Lizulfisa says:

    Yeah… I can relate. Once, while dragging my children into a handicapped bathroom stall (in my defense, two toddlers and a mom with pants around her ankles qualifies as handicapped) my daughter, sounding rather impressed and not grossed out said, “Wow Mommy, you have a really big bottom!” Snickers from the stalls near me. You know I waited till everyone was out of there before strolling out. Kids!

  6. [...] Do you all know Jenny? You should. This post made me giggle. A lot. [...]

  7. Julie S. says:

    Beautifully funny. When our girls were small I had them both in the dressing room as I tried on some new lingere (yeah, the “I’m sexy AND a mom of toddlers” dream). One of them loudly commented: “Wow, mom. You look really good in that except for your old face.”

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