I like statistics.

Would somebody please wash my mouth? Have I lost my ever-lovin’ mind? “…like statistics”… *soaps own tongue*

I should clarify…

I like enjoy looking at my BLOG statistics. As far as “Statistics” go, I did everything in my non-mathematical power to NOT take Statistics in college – and I was a Psych minor. Never took it. Just call me Houdini Shedini .

Back to my point. I like looking at my blog stats for a number of reasons. Reasons for which you probably have little to no interest. Therefore I will not bore you with a post I should title “Reasons Jenny Likes to Look at Her Blog Stats”. *gag* Instead I will share with you certain “Search Keyphrases”… sure to tickle your funny bone – if not simply leave you scratching your head. If any of you are unfamiliar with this “search keyphrases” thing, it means: what people typed into search engines that brought them to my little home here on the Whole Wide World of the Interwoven Web.

Rest assured – this will not be brief. “Brief” is neither my style in the written medium, nor in the undergarment meduim… but I digress.Â

Curious searchers came here looking for answers… Henceforth,  I feel compelled to “answer” chosen queries. Ah, but if only they had left a comment. I could help chastise laugh at answer them better…

In this post, I chose to organize these search findings into specific categories. There were over 300 keyphrases searched for in August… I whittled as much as I could. Let’s start with my favorite category -

Hello? Random!

1. mistress jenny calendar bike - I don’t know about this. But I know I didn’t get nominated for THIS calendar. I have no idea why I didn’t get nominated. I’m dumbfounded. Not nominated. That’s ridiculous. Obviously… 
2. giggle - Oh, giggling. One of my favorite things to do: giggle.
3. lipsticked humiliation – I plead The Fifth. Please leave me alone!
4. jennyjen model – please see #1
5. pee accident blogspot august 2008 – Again, I plead The Fifth.
6. boys and dating – Ah, yes… I was a big fan of both as a young girl.
   
7. kitsap county thyroid – We have very special thyroids in Kitsap County… very special indeed…
8. i still have accidents – I hear they make things like Pull-Ups for adults. Just sayin’.
9. eye yey yey – Obviously, this person is the parent of young children. It’ll be alright… You. Are. Not. Alone… Well, mostly because your children won’t leave you alone… I empathize.
10. where should jenny and i go on a hot date this afternoon – I dunno. The desert? I hear Death Valley is hot in the afternoon. If it were THIS Jenny, I’d take her to the Caribbean, but not just for an afternoon. She is HIGH MAINTENANCE and really wants to sit on a hot beach, holding a drink with an umbrella in it, and she would like it to happen at least 8 days in a row. *hint* P.S. Without children.
11. reaction to laughing gas lazy eye – I’d say a reaction is not favorable. In my experience, many people tend to feel uncomfortable around the “laughing gas lazy eye”.
12. drinking muther vinegar – Uhhh…. uhhh… 
    
13. biker road names - Yes. Let’s see… Dirk, Angus, Mike, Fluffy???
    

Inappropriate, and Ewww! (could have included many, but just these few were even somewhat accceptable)

1. big nude butt – Again – Stay. Away.
2. jennielynn nude - Jen, I included this one for you
3. marshmallow that was peed on – No. That’s wrong.

Because My Name is Jenny

1. biker jenny – I know.
2. jenny ingram 10 years younger – Where??? How???
3. jenny de zumba – That’s my name. Don’t wear it out. Actually, that is not my name.
4. jenny safety dance girl – that’s right.
5. peanut butter and jenny place orders on line – “peanut butter and jenny” – a typo??? I like peanut butter.