- February 5, 2009
- 10 Comments
- Delusions of Grandeur, Eats, General, Health & Beauty, Not So Much, Sparkle, Goodness, Awesome
I know what I need to do to lose my last 10 pounds.
STOP EATING SUGAR AND MEAT
Hahahahahahahahahahaaaahahaaahahaaahahaaa!
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHhahahahahahhahahahahaa!
*bends over in hysterics*
*gasps for air*
*grips side to alleviate abdominal cramping*
*lifts index in air* Hang on… *more gasping*
*takes deep breath, strokes hair, regains composure*
I suppose the only way I am going to be able stop eating sugar and meat is if I stop breathing. And if I stop breathing, then I would be…
DEAD
So, I guess what I am saying is this – if I lose this last 10 pounds, no one would even get to see it… because I would be buried and lying in a casket. Lame. The whole reason to lose another 10 is to feel better in my jeans while I am…
ALIVE!
This all came to me late last night… hithertofore — I at a whole pint of Ben and Jerry’s whilst sitting on my “not gonna lose 10 more pounds butt” watching Lost. Henceforth and such, I won’t weigh less when ya see me, but I will have meat and sugar in a happy belly and have a content psyche centered on the notion that meat and sugar bring contentedness. But… if I have chocolate on the corners of my mouth, just offer me a napkin, would ya? If I can’t lose the last 10, I should at least keep up my hygiene…
*****
Speaking of cake. Oh, that was just in my head. Anyway. I found this dress the other night:
I. Know. Made out of Awesome! It is wicked-expensive and I need you all to buy it for me. I’ll go set up a Paypal account and you can make donations… whadday say? I also want the shoes.
But cake… I was talking about cake. I think that when I wear this dress I look as cute as a cake topper. Bubba’s Sis? You have mad Photoshop skillz… how hard would it be to put me (see above) on top of this little lovely:
*****
Hey all! Have you put your name in the hat for my “He’s Just Not That Into You” giveaway? Click here for the details!
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10 Responses to “I know what I need to do to lose my last 10 pounds.”
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I’m with you, baby. Of course, all I need to do to lose some weight is eat less and I can’t seem to manage that, so don’t listen to me.
hmm, donate to dress and shoe fund… is this part of the stimulus package?
Ahh Screw it you will be much happier enjoying every pint of ice cream..at least I am…
I don’t think that ice cream did you bad, nor the cake. Where are you planning on losing those ten pounds from anyway?
You would make a totally awesome cake topper in that dress, but I think with some sort of flat shoe would work better. I mean the heels would just sink into the frosting and that would throw you completely off balance which would then get your backside all covered in frosting and…
I shouldn’t read your blog when I’m hungry.
I think you may have it a bit mixed up. I think you should eat a diet made up ENTIRELY out of sugar and meat!!!! It is good for you.
Oh, it’s D… with the mad Photoshop skilz…maybe she can work something up for you. In the meantime, I TOTALLY WANT THAT DRESS!!!
I’m not quitting sugar and meat either. That’s crazy talk.
I too have 10 lbs to *lose* but I’m rethinking that whole idea…I think that perhaps we’re more huggable this way. So keep it baby. And get the dress. It is just TOO fabulous!!! As are you.
If you want to loose that last ten pounds….I can help you! You can eat meat but You will have to give up the refined sugar crap. Oh and Caffeine. It isn’t hard.. you just have to know the secret! I did it. After Davis, I had a lot of weight to loose and now I am thinner than I was before I had my kids. Curious? Give me a halla!
D
I want that dress!
I absolutely can put you on top of the cake.
Just send me the pic!
I’d never be able to pull of that dress, but Oh.Mah.Gah (said in true Jenny fashion) I am lovin the shoes.
I could eat a whole row of THAT cake! (“Row” = “Layer”, right?!)