How People Find Me. Poor People.

This is yet another post about the search phrases that introduce the unsuspecting to my little spot here on the interwebz. It seems the most popular traffic-driving search phrase was “Julia Roberts“. Yes, my celebrity twin…

In past search keyphrase posts I list a bevy of phrases. I am going to be more picky here. Maybe. We’ll see. I have no set number, I am fueled by emotion, I have to read through over 800 phrases, and I am not skilled in the art of “deciding”. So. I am going to try to leave out the obvious: mail whale tail fail, marathon, triathlon, Jenny, butt, and the like. Rather, I will focus on… *screech* Did somebody just write “focus”. Heh. THAT’S funny.

The following are the ones that really caught my eye. The ones that evoked either an eye-rub, perhaps a mental “stalling”, showed me I am needed, or… no, I will not share the ones that made me gag… I will do my best to answer where appropriate. They came here looking. I am here to help the needy.

cute little leprechauns dancing – Yeah. Because the I am all about leprechauns here. Let the *blinking* begin.

what chocolate does to the body – floods it with purpose?

should i pop my spots – I know. Borderline gag. But I need to answer this: NO. Do not pop the spots.

big eye equal eyes – Meanie. SO now you’re callin’ me “Three Eyed Jenny”?

the easter bunny training? – It is in this one search the psychosis of the interwebzies is confirmed.

some folks call me a dreamer other folks laughed and called me a fool – *puts hand on shoulder of searcher* Me too, honey… me too. But one day the “dreamer” labelers will have signed copies of our best-selling books and the others will be writhing pathetically in their own world on anonymity. Ohh… smell that? A little angst, ehh?

im going to ask you a series of questions and i want them answered on the spot right now - No. Whatcha gonna do about it. *thumbs nose while bouncing back and forth on tippy-toes*

you are so funny you make me laugh – I get that all the time. *strokes hair*

jenny is a turtle - That cuts deep.

letter about my person and skills – Um. “Skills” is spelled with a “z”: skillzzzz.

do princesses play soccer? – Sexist. Of course they do. But I encourage them to tone down the tulle. A tripping hazard…

i m 35 and have night sweats – Ditto. Except I’m 36, but I did at 35 and I do at 36. Ooops. Will everyone on the world wide web of the world be able to read this?

fondant swimmer - Ahem. Fondant is not a swimmable substance. Duh.

what does fa real mean - Are you fa real? Fa. Realz. You don’t know what “fa real” means? FA REAL? Crazay.

inductive reasoner - OK, friends. Are you laughing as hard as I am? The fact that the term “reason” had ANY way to link to here is simply baffling. I. Am. Stunned.

devil and jenny – I bet J-Bling searched this. Stinker.

does chocolate milk make you tired - There are no stupid question.. Wait. Yes there are. Chocolate milk is the foundation of life and good energy. See??? The crazies find me.

jenny jenny your the girl for me you dont know me but you make me soo happy - Oh, but I do know… Not only do I make you happy, but I am wicked-smart.

kitsap mom gives crack to kids – They’re onto me.

And my 2 MOST FAVORITE search phrases:

neener neener to you poo poo butt

&

you pinch me little leprechaun i ll kick you in the face

*blinking*

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Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

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