Happy Mother's Day!

Of course I want to say that to all my friends of the maternal persuasion! I have a video to share with you… I shared it last year too. It is just supremely funny and what mom can’t imagine THIS scenario panning out in her lifetime…

Hugs and love, my friends! Hugs and LOVE!

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SO. My favorite phrase lately has been a phrase spoken by comedic genius and my imaginary BFF, Tina Fey — “I want to go to there.” Imagine my delight when my husband revealed his gift to me for Mother’s Day:

(Of course there is more Mother’s Day hoopla… but tomorrow… for Make Me Laugh Monday)

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So, I mentioned in my last post that I was going to go dancing Friday night. Can you imagine there is a story to what happened that night? Yup. 

My girls and I headed to a local brewery for some grub and warm-up libations. I shared a pizza with mah girl Darcy and enjoyed the bartender’s special — the Mo-rita. Basically… a Cadillac margarita with a shot o’ beer. *nomnom* I opted for the pizza sharing, cuz before I left my house I ate a hearty “appetizer” of mac-n-cheese with hot dogs. I am one classay laday!

My friends Emily & Cindy headed back home after the meal and I texted our other friend Jen to make sure she was on her way for some dancin’.

We arrived at the Bistro dance-ready. We grabbed a table at the edge of the dance floor. There was a new DJ Friday night. I was a bit disappointed because the regular DJ is a friend and since the DJ wasn’t my friend I did get to hang as a VIP. I am a HUGE fan of feeling like a VIP.

I don’t want to be the friend of the new DJ. I don’t want to be a VIP in his circle… in short, “I do NOT want to go to there.”

He was HORRIBLE.

I will give him this much, the first hour of music was pretty good… we rocked out to Bobby Brown, Vanilla Ice, and I think there was a good disco jam boomin’ at one point or another. We owned the dance floor. We did. 

But then… the “ladies” wearing nothing more than sausage casings made of cotton and nylon (maybe they wore leg warmers for dresses, I’m not sure) came out. Apparently, they were friends of this new DJ. Oh people. The songs they played. I have no idea, and when it comes to music… I have a pretty good idea. But. No.

No.

It was bad. BAD. I believe I gagged, and I had to stop Lisa from taking a picture. I was afraid we’d get beat up if she was discovered and capturing that on her cute iPhone, well… that’s just disrespectful to her faithful phone. Besides, the graven image alone would prolly crack the screen. Like I said, BAD.

We left. 

We decided to check out the local casino because a band was playing there. I have grown tired of the casino because it is smoky and draws a whole other type of clientele, but we had some dancing to get out of our systems.

We arrived at the casino and…

*blinking*.

The band was TERRIBLE. *grips chest* Just thinking about them makes me want to plug my ears.

Now, I live in a “rural” type community. There are VERY few options when it comes to nightlife. Also, I am a 36 year-old mother of 3, so usually, this is not a problem. This is a great area for raising a family… A great area when one is looking to hunker down to a night of snuggling with your honey. Or at least sitting side-by-side on the couch Twittering and Facebooking each other. I digress….

At 11:30 at night, in Kitsap County, there is little open, but we simply weren’t ready to go home. Even the fast food joints were closed. SRSLY. No greasy tacos. No french fries. No milkshakes… But there was one place. One grocery store around these parts is open 24/7.

Everybody say, “I WANT TO GO TO THERE!”

So we did. Dressed in our boogies shoes and fancy pants, we headed to the market where we scrounged through the candy in the bulk food section as well as our grocer’s freezer section… 

I ate that whole thing of Ben & Jerry’s. Did. *licks chops* Lisa ate the other pint. Darcy ate some  animal crackers and those jelly thingies… while Jen ate that white chocolate bark stuff and malted balls. {snicker} But what I REALLY wanted I couldn’t get cuz their kitchen was closed… A Primanti. *NOM.NOM*… corned beef on sourdough topped with french fries, cheese and coleslaw. People. I knows howz ta eat. That is late-night grub if ever there was late-night grub.

Of course we didn’t just eat. We laughed. We squealed. We listened to the piped-in grocery store music and danced. Yep. Right there at the Central Market. Funny… the music there was better than most we had heard all night. No, that’s not funny. It is actually quite sad.

I’d feel sorry for the night crew there, except for the fact I think we made their night… a buncha crazy ladies all nomnomin’ on junk food and bustin’ out random dance moves, fillin’ the quiet space with cackling laughter. And no, we were not intoxicated. We were just a bunch of moms making the most of a night I would title “EPIC DANCE FAIL”.

One customer walked through and had to stop… had to ask… what the heck was goin’ on? He was kind enough to take a picture:

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Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

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