Beauty IS as Beauty is Made to Be (a.k.a Natural Beauty, Schnatural Beauty, Let's bring Sexy Back!)

Today I want to focus on the beautiful. But not inner beauty.

Psh. *rolls eyes*

I’m talking about the beauty that MATTERS – the beauty people see in pictures you post on your FACEBOOK wall. You know you do it. You know that you would rather post NO picture than an bad picture of yourself. It’s not just me. I know how we are.

Of course natural beauty is all fine and good…

But why settle for good, when SHAZAM! or KAPOW! can be had?

Priorities people.

Don’t settle.

I crafted this post because I love you and want you to be as beautiful as Me you can possibly be…

And also, if we happen to be friends over there on the FB, I want you to look good in your thumbnail image. That way, if my other friends go through my friends list they will think I have good looking friends and thatisthemostimportantthinginlife.

Here follows a tutorial on how make your buggly already beautiful pictures, MORE beautiful.

• Get an iPhone. Sell your bed if you have to. I see what people put on Craigslist. Anything I tell you here will make up for any beauty sleep lost. With my tips and tricks, only Gollum is beyond help. Gollum, if you are reading this, my amends. Even I can’t unring that bell.

• If you do not have an iPhone, don’t despair… I have goodness for you too. Funny how “goodness” and “goddess” are so close in spelling. I digress. Read on, I will get to that in a few.

Now that you have your iPhone – go to the app store and get: MoreBeaute, PhotoStudio, and CameraBag. You may also want to grab PhotoBooth and Fail Maker, because they are of the Fun:

Here are Texas Holly and me having too much fun using the iPhone app, Photo Booth… just taking pictures of ourselves in the back of a bus at the Mom 2.0 Summit:

And here are two of my gal pals… having a real time with le champagne… while I have a real time with the iPhone app Fail Maker. This was not a staged picture. Not at all.

Are you ready to fake it like real Hollywood stars? Are you ready to fight off the paparazzi? Yes. We. Are.

Get your iPhone and take a picture. I’ll use my own as an example. No make-up. Pimple-ness and uneven color-ness. Neither FB worthy, nor blog-post worthy, but I am here to serve and I am brave.

Did you flinch?

Now put your own pic through the MoreBeaute app on your iPhone… Like I did (see below). You get that “air brushed” look. Smoothing + brightness = we’re getting somewhere! I think I hear red carpet rolling…

Now — 1) Save the MoreBeaute image… 2) Go to the PhotoStudio app and crop. Then…  3) go to the CameraBag app. My top 3 favorite filters in Camera Bag are Helga, Colorcross and Magazine (slimming!). The picture below is filtered with Colorcross after a good cropping in PhotoStudio:

It takes time. It takes effort. But, that is what true beauty is. Work. Pain.

Do you have a Mac? The picture below combines MoreBeaute (the iPhone app) with the effects editing tool in iPhoto (MoreBeaute-ed photo saved to iPhoto). I used 1 click of color boost and 1 click of antique and 2 clicks of edge blur to get to this finish:

No iPhone? No Mac/iPhoto? No problem! There is still hope. See photo below —> I took the original photo and uploaded it to picnik.com. I touched it up with blemish fix, airbrush, wrinkle remover AND insta thin. It’d be more efficient if I just got plastic surgery. But not cheaper. Aaanywho… I then used the Orton effect, played with the “bloom” in Orton effect… added  the 1960′s effect like a cherry on top.

AND added a jennyonthespot.com watermark.

Who needs Photoshop?

So… you can go from this:

To this:

In this one I used MoreBeaute and then ran it through picnik.com… where I was able to add mascara, make my eyes bluer, add blush… and even — added a tattoo! I am so ready for Hollywood.

Of course, there is always faceinhole.com…Where you can insert your face in…. erm…. a hole. And become the twin of Jennifer Aniston:

Or you can upload your own photo that you stole from the web from your own library and you too can become Zac Efron and chill with the Jonas Brothers…

I know. I get around.

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Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

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