A wave of relief

settled into my soul. I saw the flowers from across the store and realized they weren’t Valentine flowers! Just spring… Yay! Another holiday gone. Pressure – poof! Met/unmet expectation – poof! Another something to spend money on – poof! Ah, the goodness of nothing. I love “nothing”.

And then. And then… I rounded the check stand. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! In my celebration of nothing, I forgot the something just ahead.

Have you ever been slapped in the face? I have. It was a joke, but not so much. That’s how I felt when I saw the plastic eggs, the candy, the various colors of fake grass… and I saw my window of “nothing” evaporate. I held “nothing” for only moments.

I am not criticizing Easter – I love Easter. It means I have a Savior who gave His life so I can choose to keep screwing up… and He still loves me. I don’t get it, but… I ACCEPT! I just don’t love dying the eggs, making the baskets, planning who, what, where, when, and how to fit it all in a life that can barely manage to get socks on the kids when, clearly, it is a sock kind-of day.

Then again, I DO love the baskets. I just don’t like the trip to shop and spend. We don’t need any more stuffed animals or $1 plastic toe-breaker-toys. Blech. I like dying eggs, but not at Panic O’Clock. I like the candy, but only ONE… especially for the children. My gosh, especially for the children. Multiple pieces + candy = Chinese water torture for mom.

I know, I have an opportunity here to change things up for my family. An opportunity to make this more about what is really important. However… I still have to sift through the crap. I need to be a filter for my family, and I just wish there was a little break so I can fall back and re-group. I just need a little time (say, a year) to figure out what these observances will look like for our family.