- June 25, 2009
- 14 Comments
- Fa' Real?, General, Not So Much, Parenting/Family
A Conversation that Leaves Me Sayin', "Whu?"
A few weeks ago I had a conversation with a interesting individual. I don’t think she reads my blog, but if she does… well… I am outing myself here. I kind of wish I had the wit and wisdom to have handled the situation better. And being the blogger that I am, this is something I cannot NOT share.
I had met this woman before. She is one my biggest hair fans. She likes my hair and is very sweet to take the time to compliment me on the dead cells that grow at length from my scalp:
Who knew hair could be so hawt? *tilts head to right and shrugs*
Aaaaanywho. This acquaintance and admirer of mine own dead keratinized cells… commented recently that she liked that my hair is getting longer again. Actually, I was just wearing it straight that day, so it looked longer.
But the part of the convo that left me thinking, “What was that?”… Here it is in spirit. Not necessarily “verbatim”, but thankfully AFTER my children were out of ear-shot:
Hair Fan: I love your hair… yadda, yadda, yadda…
Me: *sweeping soft golden strands from mine cheeks* Why thank you… *teeth sparkle*
Hair Fan: You have lovely children.
Me: Oh. Thank you!
Hair Fan: Do you stay at home with them?
Me: Yes I do.
Hair Fan: Good for you!
Me: Oh, thanks!
Hair Fan: *smiling and putting her hand on my shoulder* Maybe in 15 years we can get together and have coffee!
Me: Sure, but we don’t have to wait 15 years. We can do it before then! 15 years is really long time. *scratches head, gives the “confused” look*
Hair Fan: Oh, but you have kids and I really don’t like kids and if we got together now you’d talk about your kids and when I say I don’t like kids I mean I REALLY. DON’T. LIKE. KIDS.
*blinking*
Now, truth be told, I am not a HUGE fan of kids either. They smell, and the young ones pee on stuff… they’re loud and want stuff and their sense of fashion can be a deal-breaker for sure.
However.
I really make an effort to steer from gossip and slander here, so I want to be careful to not attack this person’s “person”. Also, it’s not that I’ve never put my foot in my mouth… I just question why someone would see fit to tell a mother, “Let’s have coffee in 15 years becuase I don’t want to hear stupid stories about your kids.” Here follows 5 reasons I don’t understand what happened there:
- True. I am a mom. I will talk about my kids. I love them. They ARE part of my definition. And they will be in 15 years.
- I am more than a mom. I have bewbies (go #30!!!) like any other gal and what’s more…
- I am like the Scarecrow after he meets the Wizard – I have a brain!!!
- And if #3 is true, then I have the capacity to engage in conversation on subject matters beyond that which involves my spawn. But, you know what my youngest said the other day…. I digress. My kids are so cute and funny and…
- I would never ask if you have a toy dog you carry everywhere you go, and then tell you I think dogs should be kept as pets and not toys, and then say, “When your Poopsie Whoopsie dies we can get coffee.” I can THINK all that, but…
At first I was amused. I get it. Kids are work and certain folk are just not good with kids. But, there’s a point where one needs to shut it. For me, she might as well have said, “You are uninteresting and have nothing to offer me or society.” I know that is not what she meant, but that was how her words made me feel.
And honestly, I know her intent was not to hurt me. Who knows, maybe she realized her foot-in-mouth moment later that day. I really don’t care that she feels that way. I am COMPLETELY fine with her not liking kids. But she just could have left it at, “Good for you!”
Next time I see her I will be polite, even warm. However, I will have a wall or two up. Also, I will not be carrying around a 2024 calendar. I am fairly certain I’ll be pretty booked that year.
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14 Responses to “A Conversation that Leaves Me Sayin', "Whu?"”
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my bewbies are #29, how funny! not really, but i wish
Wow. That is all I can say about that! I was getting my haircut the other day and a mom and her little boy were there and the boy was running around. The young hairdresser looked rather disgusted and said “That is why I don’t not want children, OMG” She had no idea that I have three boys myself. I just don’t get people sometimes, a little more thinking before you speak people!!
Wow, that was so rude! You should have reminded her that she used to be a kid, lol
Here’s what I don’t get – I NEVER, NEVER openly comment on the people I know who have chosen NOT to have children. If anything, I am super-vigilant keeping my big mouth shut around them so as not to offend! Now, there is a graceful way to make it through a conversation and there is not. Sometimes I don’t trust myself so I may take the silent option. This doesn’t mean I don’t have an opinion, but rather don’t feel the need to purposely offend someone I don not know well.
Sounds like she should have kept her trap shut.
She’s not worth our time…now, let’s you and me talk about how fabulous we are!
Whoa. Yeah, um. Riiiiiiiight.
I put my foot in my big ol’ mouth just the other day. On someone’s blog. Yes for the entire internet to see – if they so wished. I was trying to make a joke at my own expense and realized two days later that it ended up being insulting to someone I admire very much. Ugh. Even though I tried to make reparations and deleted my comment, it still went to her email and she will see it.
Here’s hoping your foot-in-mouth lady realizes what she did and feels half as bad as I did. Believe me, it will be punishment enough!
That is hilarious. I mean, really. Let’s chat in 15 years? OMG!
Don’t you wish you had some sort of funny and snappy comment to lob her way? Nothing insulting just… just enough to point out her little jab.
Well, thank goodness I have kids too…
Oh my word! And you’re going to try to be nice to her after she put her foot in her mouth like that? lol I wonder if she’s kicking herself or not… well if she reads this she’ll definitely know what she said was not very nice.
PEOPLE!
I would be so hurt if someone said this to me!
Just so you know, you have a LOT to add to society, lol. I look so forward to coming to read your blog and I don’t even know you in real life… and you talk less about your kids than most people in their blogs, lol. I aspire to add to society the way you do!
Ha, I’m reading your blog in the Central Market parking lot. People are weird. And you know, a little wrapped up in themselves. I think kids are like little buddha’s & don’t understand how people can dislike kids. Well, ok that ONE kid that was spitting on displays in Macy’s, yeah I get that…
I would have said, “well, my kids will grow up someday but you will still be a jerk.”
Seriously? Do you attract crazy? Who would do that? Next time tell her that you can have coffee with her when her bad breath clears up in 15 years.
This is not someone you want to have coffee with. She has no appreciation for who you are. She wants to get together with you when you fit her idea of who you are.
hahah … one word … WOW!
That is just… WTF. When ever we have coffee.. we don’t talk about our kids, even when they are right there. We barely talk TO them. She is missing out on some fab conversation.