The first day of school. Mercy on a mother’s soul.

We hit a big marker this year. My youngest headed into kindergarten. My son is at the top of the grades… “big man on campus”. And my hard-to-read middle daughter is plopped comfortably in the middle – looking forward to being a big buddy, instead of having a big buddy. Also, she is excited to be on her little sister’s side of the school so she can walk her to her classroom from the bus each morning.

How my kids have come to be so precious is beyond me. It is through the grace of God and not any of my doing. They are kids through and through.

Oh they drive me crazy.

Oh I am out of my mind in love with my babies.

Lucy. I could NOT get a normal picture of her. Were it possible, my little girl would have crawled out of her own skin in all her excitement to start school. Out of her little mind. I love watching her. I learn so much.

Olivia. So cool. Gosh Mom. Talk to the hand… She barely let me walk her to class, but being the manipulative mom that I am, I got my way. I know she really loves it…

And Joel. No additional picture of this boy. We said our goodbyes at the front doors of the school. He was off. So it begins. *grips chest*

And in the end I didn’t cry. Not for me. Lucy headed into the class like the big girl she now is. We kissed, and I left. I stood in the hall a bit, and did end up crying a bit. But becuase I saw other mommies crying. Mommies sending off their firsts. I’d been there and my heart ached for them.

I had to hold back my happy dance.

Then I headed out the door to a back to school mimosa party. Because, THAT, my friends… is how it’s done. I can’t take credit for that idea, I just take credit for having friends who have great ideas.

Did you send kids off? Do you have memories of one of your first days? Do you like mimosas?

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It’s the first day of school here. Today, the pictures will be of children with backpacks and bright yellow buses. So long, summer… My friend, you will be missed…

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And THIS is Lady GRAMA (on right):

Lady Grama is one of the regulars at the local casino. How I know she is a “regular” is not the point. The point is – without actually GOING TOOOOO the future… we can SEEEEEE the future. Future Gaga, if you will.

And the cute redhead on the left is my friend Lisa. She’s married fellas, so step off.

But Lady Grama Gaga… Ain’t got nothin’ on a couple of British young pups. Bad Romance has never been so right!

Oh. And if you like Brett Domino… clear your calendar. You’re about to spend some time checkin’ out Pomplamoose too.

Enjoy the music, my friends… enjoy.

P.S. Dear Santa, I want a Nikon 3100, a Korg Monotron, a Korg Kaossilator, aaaaand a bosu ball.

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Searchers.

I am always a little surprised. Always a little disturbed. And always entertained by the creative long string searches that land folks on the doorstep of Jenny On the Spot.

It makes me think about the words I use. What sort of people am I driving to my site when they find JOtS via searches like — feels like little balls in my butt… Makes a girl think twice. And maybe gag a little.

People looking for tampon crafts have stopped by. In keeping with the theme there have also been visitors looking for advice on how to not get embarrassed buying tampons or how to make a tampon flute or wanting to know… do old people buy tampons?

Clearly, I have become a resource. A valuable resource. They have come looking for: youtube.funny.com, “cute jenny” braces, blogger person, cues of diarrhea, a list of words that make people uncomfortable, how to make sure i don’t miss my baby growing up, and wonder — is it hard to be a blogger.

To answer that last question… it depends. If you look at your keyword searches, you may need a strong stomach. Believe me when I tell you, I am very selective in what searches I share here.

My searchers are as diverse as me. From looking for info on “ninja painter” to if it is bad to hold in vomit to sausage and pop tarts to “hands attached to my shoulders” to jenny poo poo in pants … I am speechless.

Some make perfect sense! Like, cooking video series – just started that! And i want to bling it – of course! I do too! Especially my alter-ego!

And then there are keyword searches that inspire. This one — because of you facebook has inspired me to write a poem.

Because of YOU… Facebook

Because of you, Facebook…

Because of you!

I have connected with friends of old,

and also friends of new.

Oh You, My Facebook profile…

You are my heart, my home.

My  precious Facebook news feed

Real-time proof I am not alone.

Facebook, oh Facebook!

You fun, fun place to be!

Facebook, oh Facebook!

*OHM*

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She is my third.

So. Pretty much. With her being my third and being 5 and all, we are all done with “accidents”.

Right?

*insert look of exasperation here*

SO. Yesterday. We were at the park — ALL DAY. For this:

Yeah. I sang too. But more on THAT epic tale of Oreos and microphones later…

So. At the park. The whole family. From 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. I brought Lucy a change of clothes because I know how things go.

Now, Mama was busy makin’ the rounds at Poulsbopalooza. Chattin’ and whathaveyou. Mama has some great friends who went to Poulsbopalooza who pulled out slivers, offered food and made sure they also knew none of my kids were wearing their shoes.

It takes a village.

And also, I give. Why do I even buy shoes?

One of those great friends, Sara *waves to Sara*, who… out of the sweetness of her heart… knowing my struggle with my little one… offered to my Lucy (while I was busy not being a good mom, but a good networker & decent tambourine shaker…) “Hey Lucy! I’m going to the bathroom… do you want to come with me?”

And here is where the clouds parted and revelations were revealed. Revelations revealing revelations… Lucy shrugged her shoulders and said,

No. I have a change of clothes.

Eff.

Hope of all hope… I  have never had a chance.

On all the earth. Ever.

My precious Sara (mother, friend, all-around woman of awesome) felt my potential pain, had mercy on me and encouraged Lucy to head over to the potty with her ANYWAY.

And in the end, we made it all day without an “accident”. No doubt all due to my village. A load of thanks to Sara, Lisa, the older daughters and sons of friends, my own son and daughter…

Because I know at one point I took Lucy 3 times in less than 30 minutes.

At least she I know she was hydrated. And she probably walked 30 miles. But not one of them was to change her clothes.

So.

Curry. People either love it. or they don’t. Do you?

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I was born with the innate gift to see a half-empty glass. In fact, if there is a FULL glass… my response is “Sure. It’s full NOW…”

Some of you are surprised to hear this. “Happy Jenny”? Not my “Happy Jenny”!

I make a conscious effort to keep this space positive. It is the place I come to escape my little bent toward the negative. In fact, years ago I stopped watching dramas on TV… House, Law & Order, ER… I saw fear building in how I perceived MY life based on fictitious portrayals of humanity. My earliest writings definitely bear witness to this “other Jenny”.

Not all of the “bent” is bad. My husband is an extreme dreamer. We compliment each other very well when it comes to discerning together how full the glass actually is ;)

But then days like today come. And I think maybe I should just hang my sad little chonies on the line for all to “see”. I am just a woman tryin’ to get by.

I am a woman of faith. I am weak. I am tired. I am anything but perfect. And I can’t do this alone.

I imagine even Pollyanna would flip days like this The Bird.

Today just held wave after wave after wave… not any one wave being “the worst ever”, but each knocking me back a bit… enough to catch a breath, but by the end… who has the strength to fight for air?

I give.

Today we lost glasses ($$$), had a dog “issue” (read: $$$), *this* bad news (read: $$$), *that* bad news (read: $$$)… and then there’s the colossal early bird reg + planning committee = have to go to event… But then there’s x 2 + will not meet earlybird deadline + still have to go = financialsuckfest. Also, I yelled at my kids. Big. I hate this the most. And all of that is only fried skin of this whole chicken.

Put a fork in me. I. Am. So. Done.

I can’t find the smile… or see past my exhaustion to find the funny story to post instead.

Ultimately, I feel like a brat. Nothing went MY way and I emotionally stomped, and shot fire out my nose all the way.

I long to be a person who can graciously roll with the waves.

Damn it.

You know how much I love double rainbows? If I don’t say “awesome”, I say “That was DOUBLE RAINBOWS!” My Facebook status at the end of the day read: “Double rainbows can suck it.”

I know. It was that bad.

I don’t want pity. I just want to… I dunno. I guess keep it real, for real. I have many friends who are dealing with stresses far more serious than my own. And all of that just sucks too. So much.

This too shall pass… I believe that wholeheartedly. I just pray I can handle the waves with more grace than I did today. And if those double rainbows had real pots of gold… I’d never have told them to “suck it”.

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That is not entirely true. I have video footage comin’ out my iMovie, but… I can only look at me so much. Videos, the mirror… I need a break. And a facial.

So. Looks like I need to come up with a top ten list. That IS the title.

Maybe I’ll focus more on the “list” than the “top ten” aspect of the title. I am beat, and I don’t want to move the cursor to change the title.

1. I don’t think I will ever hire an attorney who advertises during the Jay Leno Show.
2. Betcha can’t guess what’s on T.V. right now.
3. I feel like I am wasting your time.
4. I feel like I should GIVE you something… a nugget – a funny one-liner or a morsel of wisdom.
5. Do you hear crickets?
6. Have you ever met a Hippie Gangsta?
7. I think Hippie Gangstas probably say, “Quit harshin’ my mellow, or I will cut you.”
8. *whistling*
9. School starts next week. *BAM!*
10. If my email were a person… I would have gone “Gangsta Paradise” on it last night, y’alllz. I’d a had to pop a cap… or somethin’ about Slim Shady… Either way, the whole thing totes harshed my mellow.
11. All my kids say “totes” instead of “totally”.
12. Because my kids are da bomb, y’allz.
13. I want to be a rapper.
14. No. Really.
15. A rapper, not a wrapper. To be clear.

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I’m not sure if I have ever shared the story about how 5 Minutes for Mom was a key site for me as a beginning blogger. Like homeroom in high school… 5 Minutes for Mom was an anchor and foundation for a girl lost in the halls of the interwebz.

So… what a treat and DREAM to have met the dynamic twins – Janice and Susan of 5 Minutes for Mom! AND just as I always suspected… they rock in real life. They are ladies I have fallen deep in love with. And it was that silly Janice who went wild with her talent behind the lens and caught me goofin’ off at a party while in NYC for BlogHer 10.

So, thanks for the great picture, Janice!!! I would have to say that picture makes me look like I am about ready to reveal a secret. Or am I??? …

Well would ya look at that? I. Am.

I confess…

This is actually a little hard for me. It has been so easy to buy one of these and hide it in…

…

…

Did you really think I was going to give away my hiding place?

You’re so silly.

I confesss… I love pre-packaged chocolate pudding pies.

*insert cosmic GASP here*

Andtheblackberrykindtoo. *eeep*

Your turn! Do you have a secret pre-packed indulgence? Hamburger Helper? Twinkies? Hot Pockets? What do YOU confess? It’s OK, you can do this… I won’t tell a soul.

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I really don’t want to regurgitate web content. Well, not every week. I do love to pass on golden nuggets of hilarity…

This week, I want to share a few pictures… Pictures I have taken over this last week. Pictures of things that made me laugh. Perhaps you “had to be there”… perhaps not.

Regardless… as I post the following pictures… I want you to think — about the snapshots of humor that happen all around. As the heaviness of life presses all around… as tasks and expectations bind… Take a deep breath. Step back – either literally or mentally. Look around. Watch your children – the children of others… or nature… listen to the conversations happening around you… be a watcher.

Here were some moments I caught last week:

1) A dirty window? Not funny. What my son said ABOUT the dirty window of the van we parked next to? FUNNY.

Hey Mom!!! It’s a double rainbow!!!

2) My friend Katie. Everybody should have a Katie. She lead my kids’ drama camp last week. We had a few hot days, and she was prepared. Her camp name was “Fairy Godmother.” What kind of a fairy godmother would she be if she misted the wilty campers with a regular old mister? A fairy STEPgodmother, I suppose. My Katie Fairy Godmother crafted THIS inventive, hilarious and functional mister… and aptly named her – Misty Mister… I know. You want Katie to be YOUR fairy godmother too!

3) My son’s Nerf gun arsenal. He saves and saves to beef-up his nerf-arsenal. A boy never knows what piece he’ll need, and he may need any one in a hurry. My boy is prepared, and judging by this system – color coordinated bullets are all part of the strategy. You can read more about how we got to this point here… I used to be anti-gun. Now I am just impressed.

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The monies ahead… on my review site!

• $150 here – it’s about the guns and the funny… (see picture above)
• $100 here – the summer wrap-up

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