Valentine’s Day.
Diamonds and flowers and chocolate and commercialism!
Valentine’s Day is around the corner and if you are on Facebook it is highly likely you have seen your fair share of Daddy-Daughter Dance pictures…
I’ll confess, I helped fill the Facebook feed too. OH BUT THE ADORABLE.
Though *they* didn’t have Daddy-Daughter Dances back in my day, my dad did take me out. Some of my best childhood memories involve those times with my dad.
Once my girls became old enough to go to these dances with their dad, I found my son and I had some free time on our hands. I have since seen people express their disappointment, “Why don’t they have Mommy-Son Dances?!”
In my opinion, the only time a guy will stop leaning against a wall and dance is only under the sweet power of his little girl.
Mother-Son FOOTBALL games… I can see that. Heck, I could get into that! But Mother-Son Dances? Y’all know I am not one to diss dancing, but if we take a moment and think about how an event like that might pan out, we might not be so quick to put together a planning committee.
The thing about sons is, they are not daughters. There are always exceptions, but I’m just sayin’.
My son and I have enjoyed a number of years of Valentine dates while his sisters and dad get dressed in their finest and dance the night away. Meanwhile, we do our own thing. When he was a little guy, we went roller skating… we’ve gone to movies and filled up on popcorn, soda, and candy… last year we got stuffed on dinner then came home and played video games. Sometimes we go with another mom and son, and one year we brought one of his friends with us.
No rules. No expectations. Just being time.
Can I tell you a little secret?
Sometimes I get nervous about these dates. What if my son doesn’t like hanging out with me anymore? What if I am a total dud? What if I am irritating and annoying and a humiliation?!!!
Lucky for me, my son is a pretty awesome kid who values quality time, so I worry for nothing.
But just in case, this year I made us a list of things. A mother-son Valentine date night scavenger hunt, of sorts. Lots of valuable things happen in the parent-child relationship in the small, unexpected moments… but relationships also takes intention. Even and/or especially relationships with a child.
Or young MAN.
WHERE DID MY BABY GO?!
So. If you are a mom of a teenage son, here is a Mother-Son Date Night Scavenger Hunt, of sorts. Please note: I suggest this as a guide. Tailor to your son’s interests and comfort zone. Or any parent with sons or daughters… this hunt is totally tweakable.
Mother-Son Valentine Date Night Scavenger Hunt
Nothing fancy. Nothing spendy.
And most importantly – nothing required.
Mama’s, check Ms. Boss at the door.
I brought us a list of ideas. Lucky for me, he’s cool with my selfie-goffiness and digs a game-plan so this kind-of things works for us. My son wasn’t wild about a couple of my original ideas, so we tweaked them… He didn’t want to toss a football in the cold and the dark, so we nixed that suggestion (and honestly I was SO THANKFUL). He wasn’t comfortable with my original dare, so I gave him another.
Oh but he ALMOST!
Our night wasn’t about checking off a to-do list.
It wasn’t about making him do things I thought he would enjoy.
It was about making the night a bit more special. More thought-out.
And fun.
Luckily, we had snow on our side this particular night!
It was also about me stretching out of my comfort zone. It was about showing my son I think of him and plan for him and not only consider his loves and likes, but value them too.
I especially value that his favorite ice cream is also my favorite ice cream.
And he is such a great sport…
I mustache, you… do you like french fries with Ranch or Campfire sauce?
Parenting during the teenage years is daunting. I try not to worry about all the things I hear I should be worrying about. In fact, I hope that taking intentional time with and for my son will knock those reasons to worry right out the back door.
I wonder what he wrote in that note…
Building a relationship with your kid is not just about this ONE time, but this time and last time and next time and the time in the car on the way to school…
Parenting has been nothing like I’d ever imagined. From the very beginning. Nothing like I imagined. It is far more difficult and far more wonderful than any book could ever tell.
I just pray I do enough right in this process to make my dumb mistakes less traumatic.
And if nothing else, I’ll offer to help pay for counseling when that day comes.
In the mean time, we have these little treasures as time whizzes by at a relentless pace.
He’s so handsome! But please note he is not quite yet taller than me. I was just scooting in close because that is what mamas do.
Oh, and I think Mimi might be enjoying our random act of kindness… If anyone deserves an early Valentine treat, it’s Mimi.
What are your thoughts on dating your kids? Valuable or weird? Did you experience that with either of your parents?
