Children of the Corn

No, this is not a review of the terror movie I never saw. I can freak myself out enough without having any Hollywood-generated ideas adding to my mania. This story is about our visit to a local pumpkin farm with Olivia’s preschool…

Last Friday – ahem – Friday the 13th, no less… we went to a local pumpkin patch. It’s a popular attraction for the locals. You have the feeding of the goats, Mrs. “Farmer” gives the detailed history of the farm, Mr. “Farmer” talks about the life cycle of the pumpkin, then everyone takes a little gander at the turkeys (a friend told me they are named “Easter”, “Thanksgiving” and “Christmas”), the pigs, and the chickens. Once the children's eyes and noses are full of farm animal fun – we head to the corn maze.

The Corn Maze.

We entered with excitement and wonder – “Look at all those beautiful stalks of corn!” The path under our feet was framed by bright green clover. The leaves from the stalks reached out to whap or just graze our faces, arms and legs. A scarecrow popped up every-so-often … Lucy said “Hi” to one of them. She greets cars too. Sometimes she says “Hi” to the air.

We walked. We walked. We walked. Blind trust led our band of preschoolers and mommies. We believed Mr. “Farmer” was ahead, guiding our young ones to…. the pumpkin patch.

“Hey – we just saw that scarecrow!” A short time later, “Hey, there he is again!” It was then I finally got it – Mr. Farmer was no longer in the lead, and quite possibly gone — F O R E V E R. Um… where’s Lucy? Where’s Olivia? Where’s Joel? A twinge of panic pulsed though my maternal veins. All roads lead to home (the pumpkin patch) right??? Not in the land of, The Children of the Corn on Friday the 13th!

Joel emerged through a thick bank of fog… not really, but it you scooted closer to your screen – didn’t you Actually, Joel popped out of what seemed like nowhere as I yelled, “Mr. ‘Farmer’, we need some help!”. You see, Joel had started the maze with the aforementioned farmer. It was then I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, we were truly lost – in a corn maze with without our 20 preschoolers.

Through the stalks I could hear the cries of the mommies – “Katelyn Ann!” “Joey!” “Noah!” “Sarah!”,

A few of us cut through a bundle of stalks to reach the outside (“Go to the light!”) Once we scoped out a portion of the perimeter, I went back in for the rest. There wasn’t time to gather supplies. The mission was clear – get in, get out. No one would be left behind, While I went in, Lisa stayed behind with the refugees, and withstood a scolding from Mr. “Farmer” for breaking the maze barrier – oblivious to the wave of fear growing within that acre of corn.

Since I am here to tell the story, it means we all survived. Call me crazy, but I went back again today with my MOPS group. I asked Mr. “Farmer” to make sure no one got lost. He said no one can get lost in the maze. I guess it depends on what one’s understanding of “lost” means…

The visit today wasn’t quite so dramatic. But there is a story – it lies with Mrs. “Farmer”, It’s her job to tell the history of the farm. The house was built in 19??, the barn burned down by hay that spontaneoulsy combusted in 19??. The glow of the great barn fire was probably seen as far as Seattle. It’s interesting, the kiddos were lost at 19??…

Today she got a little more instructional and took the opportunity to instruct the moms to give our kids chores (because kids today don't do enough chores). She also added we shouldn't let them watch TV either. Appparently her grandson only watches TV, and it’s because his mother lets him. I think that since we were all moms (except for the kids) she took a moment to speak into our lives. It was fine – she’s aged, and deserves to be heard – it just felt like odd timing – sitting on bales of hay and all. She smoothly transitioned from child rearing to the local government. She expressed how ridiculous the permitting process is to build a barn. I agree. Permits are expensive and take too much time. Yep, the 2,3 and 4 year-olds really dug into that discussion. I guess it's never too early for our preschoolers to start developing a broad worldview… they are, as you know, Children of the Corn…