- April 16, 2009
- 15 Comments
- Fa' Real?, General, Parenting/Family
Whu? A Dad Who Never Loses His Temper.
I repeat: Whu??? A father who NEVER loses his temper??? Is he made of stone? I want to meet him to see if I were to reach-out and poke him — if my finger would pass through his mid-section.
Golly, friends. This is a hard one for me. The video I am posting is of a parent who… a father who…
I… “blinking*
He claims he never loses his temper as a parent. He says he has never given his son a time out. He is really BIG on dialogue. *more blinking* I don’t want to criticize someone I do not know, but this is probably one of the most infuriating and defeating clips I have seen on parenting in a long time.
If this is real, it is the exception and not the rule, and I bet even toddler Jesus gave Mary some grief.
Back to “dialogue”… I’ve tried dialogue with all 3 of my children. I do pretty well with my 6 and 9 year old. They have the ability to grasp concepts… But at 18 months… 24 months… h-e-doublehockeysticks… even a 4 year old… There is a fangy emotional beast that lives in toddlers and preschoolers. In my experience, utilizing only “dialogue” as a behavior modifier for a child who can only say, “NO!!!!!!!!” and “MINE!!!!” has the potential of being about as effective as a wet noodle or a dead battery or a gimpy horse on the Oregon Trail.
Watch:
I’m not trying to imply losing one’s temper with one’s child is good or productive. Absolutely not. I am merely saying, “Whut the whut?” Never?!
Do you have a soul, man?
Yes. I feel that strongly. In MHO, a parent who makes such grand claims is either in denial or lying. I am not going to go so far to say this father is one or the other, I am just saying… I know a thing or two, and this kind-of propaganda is the garbage that causes struggling mothers and fathers grief and tremendous guilt.
I’d love to see a clip of this kid in action. I have a hunch… *tapes mouth*
It is never good to lose one’s temper with children. However, sometimes the little people push and push and push and push. I have NEVER claimed to be a parent who has it together. I know parents who have the patience of a saint. You know who I am talking about – the calm mom you put on a pedastal… but even she has her limit. I’ve seen it. Kids take you places, no matter your level of centeredness or conviction. They take you beyond anything those “What to Expect” books can even scratch the surface of. For example:
- When a 36 inch person loses their shiznit in the middle of all the populous of all the most judgmental public anyone has ever been in the middle of – the theory of “Fight or Flight” hits like an anvil.
- You’re late to a doctor’s appointment and your toddler threw her shoes in a toilet filled with diarrhea. And she tried to retrieve them… herself. But only after she gave her face a yogurt mask at breakfast earlier that morning.
- You have been up since 4 a.m. with child #1 due to a fever. It is bedtime and at 9, 9:12, 9:36, 10, 10:42, 11:04, 11:33, 11:51 and now midnight and child #3 needs another drink of water, feels “scratchy” on her arm and wants her blankets “straight”.
- The 3 year old wants Daddy. Daddy reaches for her. “No, I don’t want daddy!” Daddy puts down arms. “I WANT DADDY!” Daddy reaches.. “NOOOOO!!!!”. **** “I want Daddy”… Daddy reaches… “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Mommy says, “You want daddy?” 3 year old nods “Yes” with crocodile tears. Daddy puts his arms out and she falls into his arms. *This REALLY happened*
I’ll be honest. I have lost my temper. More than a few times. I am not happy about it. It is not a source of pride. I wish that every time one of my children blatantly disobeys or “accidentally” knocks the earth off it’s axis… I wish I could keep it together every. single. time. However, I am an imperfect mother with dynamic children. I have lots of years to work on how I handle difficulties with my kids. You know what? I think the firt thing I am going to do is instead of saving for college, I am going to start tucking away for their therapy… I may lose it sometimes, but my kids can never say I wasn’t looking out for them in the long-run 
**********
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15 Responses to “Whu? A Dad Who Never Loses His Temper.”
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Um…wow. I’m sorry, but really, this father is delusional, and, in my opnion, he’s doing his child a huge disservice that will come back and bite him in the ass when he’s an adult. What employer is going to take the time to forever and ever discuss and discuss and map out options over and over again with someone like this child when he grows up and gets a job? None. Absolutely none. And he’s never given a time out? Then I guess this man is not only a father, but he is a saint.
I grew up in a house with parents who lost their freakin’ minds when we’d get reprimanded, be it small things or big. Did that shape the way I grew up and parent my children? Absolutely. However, being human, I lose my temper, and I walk away from my kids when I feel I’m reaching the point of madness. It’s human nature, and if this man thinks he’s living in a perfect world with a perfect child, I’d hate to model it in my own life.
I applaud youtube for being able to post videos from alternate realities…that’s pretty impressive.
Can you say full of crap?
LOL. That last example you gave of the 3 year old and Daddy dilemma- were you at our house watching that happen?? It has happened more than once here. THAT is normal.
I would LOVE to have a hidden camera to watch all that actually goes on there. Lots of good intent, but come on!
Wow.
Oh – and he only has 1.
Hmmmm. Add another little person or 2 and let’s see what happens!
ohwhatever. That’s all I have to say about Liar-liar-pants-on-fire.
The 3yo scenario happens DAILY here. With Daddy. With crackers for a snack. With blankie, dolls, and what clothes she is wearing. Sometimes I don’t know if she’s 3yo or bi-polar.
I think that Dad is delusional. Or he’s been sniffin’ the Elmers glue while he’s pontificating – sorry – dialoguing.
I’m just sayin….
Delusional Dad is a big lying liar. And probably taking some kind of narcotic not legal in the United States, or industrialized nations in general. And perhaps his kids are heavily medicated as well. I am so not buying this tripe from him…
[...] are other options, of course. Jenny On The Spot featured a clip of a dad who had never lost his temper with his son and is always able to [...]
that guy is going to pop one day and be in a clock tower with a high powered riffle
I fully believe that it is possible for a parent to never lose his/her temper with her/his children.
All that it takes is the parent being non-custodial and never having any contact with his/her children.
See? No problem!
Is this dad on crack? I mean, is he really even AROUND his kid on a regular basis? Does he REALLY ‘talk it out’? OMG, shoot me. I have never claimed to be the most patient person, and I grew up in a home where every little thing was made into a disaster, so it’s hard for me to find a balance. But I TRY every damn day. You are right-it’s asshats like this that make the rest of us feel overcome with guilt when we raise our voices or lose our shit in front of our kids.
the whole ‘I want daddy’ thing is hilarious! I swear, 3 & 4 year olds are the funniest little creatures!
I think the guy just mispoke when he said he had a perfect and perfectly rational FOUR YEAR OLD. I think he was talking about his four MONTH old. In which case, I totally concur. Never had to give mine a time out. I talk. She listens. It’s fabulous. Who is this guy anyway?
I think that guy must be a serial killer or something. Dude, get a grip.
OH my word, I love this! lol Especially “There is a fangy emotional beast that lives in toddlers and preschoolers.” – I thought I was just going crazy. My precious, perfect child? A fangy, emotional beast? YES! But of course around other people she’s smiley and happy, so I always get the question, “Is she always this happy?”
*insert deadpan expression*
lol
Enjoyed this post!
That’s just not natural. Scary.
Oh my shit. I would love to see this guy be re-interviewed when Little Tristan is 14 years old. Muahahaha.