- January 28, 2009
- 27 Comments
- Eats, Fa' Real?, General, The Butt Series, The Confessional
The Confessional – A Row of Cake
I confess. A few weeks ago, I was feeling weak. Very. Very. Weak. I wanted cake. I wanted me some moist yellow cake with yummy chocolate frosting. I tried to be a good girl for the first several days. I tried to make substitutions for this very specific craving… a few chocolate chips… an apple with peanut butter… a couple of graham crackers dipped in cold milk… All were feeble attempts to keep the full caloric kick of a big piece of cake away from the body I would like to shave a few more pounds off of.
However — I caved… I caved in an epic sort of way. I caved in such a way… I… I…
My craving was so specific. In an effort to satiate this craving, but still maintain a level of “good” I even looked at the local market, the nice one that sells nummy cakiness by the delightful piece. Nope. Wasn’t working for me. I wanted a yellow cake, made from a box… amply frosted. And I was pretty sure *gasp… wait for it…. wait for it…. here it comes… *
I needed a whole row. Not one piece of cake. A. WHOLE. FRIGGIN’. ROW. OF. CAKE.
Don’t judge me. Some folks need a cigarette. This folk needed a row of cake. Some folk need a salad. This folk… needed a row of cake.
I decided to stop the insanity. I baked myself a yellow cake… straight from the box. **Baking tip: add one tablespoon of mayonnaise to give your cake a suprior level of moistness. Trust me.** I made myself some of the rockinest frosting of all frostingness as well.
I made this cake with the intent to indulge in an entire row. The night I made her, she became mine, that gorgeous row of simple carbs… slathered in more caloric divinity. My very own row of cake…
And the next day… I gloried in another row of cake. The third day… glory! again as another row of cake danced all the way to my belly… and also another one piece. Just one piece plus a row, though… I do have boundaries, people.
One of my Facebook friends read a note I wrote on FB about my recent “cake incident”. She wrote, “Let’s start a FB group called “Girls Who Eat Cake by the Row”! Guess what. There is now such a group. The description reads:
This group is for real women… Real women with real hunger. Real women with real needs. Real women who are not afraid to not just eat a whole piece of cake… but women who eat an ENTIRE ROW OF CAKE.
Yes, sometimes we say, “Oh. No just half a slice for me.” However, ladies…. HOW.EVER. There are days… Oh, there are days that we just need to satiate the beast within — and eat a whole friggin’ row of cake.
So. Whether it is a row of cake, a row of brownies, a row of cookies, three fistfuls of chocolate chips or spoon(s)ful of frosting straight from the can… Girlfriend, you have found your home with us.
We don’t do this everyday, but we do this. Here at “Girls Who Eat Cake by the Row” we recognize that sometimes a girl just need to pass on one piece of cake and just… GO FOR THE WHOLE ROW.
*snarf snarf*
Go here if you would like to join us!
**********
Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…
Subscribe to my Jenny On The Spot RSS feed
Subscribe to Jenny On the Spot by Email
27 Responses to “The Confessional – A Row of Cake”
Use the Form Below to Leave a Reply
today i also caved. i’m in quebec city and i needed some cheetos. interestingly enough, the french use the same word for cheetos. there might have been a Le in front of the word cheetos, but i ate the bag too, no evidence or witnesses left behind.
When I was in college I would get together with 3 friends every Sunday and we would make a cake. Then we would get out 4 forks. And we would eat. the. whole. thing.
I was chatting with one of those friends the other day and we conceded that our 30-something metabolisms would not do well if we got back into this habit.
I’m not on Facebook but I may need to be just so I can join that group.
I am with Christy as when I was in college we would get a whole frozen Sara Lee Cheesecake and mow on it and OMG every bit was so incredible. A whole row yeah.. that is so do able!
Oh girl, I have SO been there! =)
I can honestly say that I have never done that. Maybe half a row…but never a whole row by myself.
My husband on the other hand….
Ok so what is a row of cake? Are we talking from end to end of the finished product? I can do that-oh yes I can. Even at parties, they always slice a teeny tiny piece, give me a HUGE one. I also want more.
As for brownies, aren’t you supposed to eat the whole pan in one sitting? I mean really, the box is a single serving after all.
Gawd, I love you! I eat rice krispie treats by the row. And brownies. I might have to join facebook, just to get in on this group.
Brownies with a death wish come to die at my house. Interestingly enough, no one else in my family seems to have the chance to pay their proper respects.
I’ve been known to eat an entire pan of brownies in one night. I am not ashamed of this. I could eat a whole row of cake, but I don’t want the end row. I want a row out of the middle. And, altho I do like it, I don’t really need frosting – I like just cake. Mmmmmmmm.
I celebrated my membership to the FB cake club by baking (baking?) a pan of Rice Krispy Treats for myself…er…I mean my kids. I ate half the pan before they even came down stairs
They were the best Rice Krispy Treats too. mmmmmmmm…..marshmallow
well i don’t much care for cake, but last night i ate a whole row of oreos…does that count for something? i mean, it must count for something, and i’m not even counting the two big blobbies of ice cream that followed the row. but i’m ashamed to admit i did run for an hour before the oreo cave. i know, i know, shoulda parked it on the couch and watched some good chick flick but it was running night. and oreo night. plus ice cream.
So which row? The long row of fourteen inches, or the shorter row of nine. I gotta say that either row would be quite an accomplishment, and I imagine you went out and ran a marathon, or two, afterwards.
you’re being tagged!! http://www.heididilley.blogspot.com
I’m so glad you made this facebook group. Now we know we aren’t alone! I love me my sweets! Like Bubba’s Sis, I prefer the middle. And I’ve been known to just take from the middle rather than waiting for it to become available. Also, while I do enjoy the frosting, I don’t need it. Mmmmmmm!
I just became member #40. Apparently there are more of us than you’d think.
How ’bouts a gallon of ice cream? Screw the scoop, it’s never enough. A bowl? That’s for wimps. What I’m talking ’bout is the whole milky gallon of sugary sweet goodness drizzled with chocolate syrup, and depending on the flavor, topped with banana slices. Huh? Huh?
I’m in, but it’s brownies for me! And it has to be the middle section of the brownies that are especially gooey. I could take or leave the edge pieces. Oh, who am I kidding? I eat the edges too.
I made a 10″ key lime pie this week. I have had two pieces of pie every day since I made it. Now, I am craving cake. Chocolate Guinness cake. MMMMM.
Also, member #52 here.
Ok, I’ll admit to being in chocolate withdrawal when I read this, as I honestly couldn’t figure out cake by the row. My kids prefer cupcakes, maybe on this is why. Now, if you had said brownies by the row, I would totally have gotten it right away.
Yes, I am a brownie by the row person. Cause, you have to start the row. Then you need to need to clean up after that messy first cut.
Just try to eat one Ghirardelli Triple Chocolate brownie. I dare you. Oh, waid, I don’t have to!
[...] contribution today has to do with “fitness”. Ya know, with eating my rows of cake, sleeves of Thin Mints and training for a marathon, I feel I am kind-of an expert these [...]
[...] do eat cake by the row. I’ve blogged about it. I even started a group on Facebook for girls like me. You should join. This cake with my Twitter [...]
I’m so happy I’m not the only one that puts the kids in bed and hurries to my double chocolate cake and huge glass of milk. It’s my form of crack.
Must be the name.
[...] do eat cake by the row. I’ve blogged about it. I even started a group on Facebook for girls like me. You should join. This cake with my Twitter [...]
[...] Speaking of cake. Oh, that was just in my head. Anyway. I found this dress the other night: [...]
[...] You can read the entire expose’ at my Mom on the Spot blog over there at the Kitsap Sun… A little bit of this: This is what I look like when I get a hankerin’ for a row of cake: [...]
[...] I am still running. So, I guess the answer is to keep running. It might be beneficial to not eat rows of cake or sleeves of cookies as a post-run recovery meal too. [...]