- June 6, 2009
- 14 Comments
- Delusions of Grandeur, Eats, Sparkle, Goodness, Awesome
I Got Carded.
TWICE.
Guess which kind of “carded” it was:
If you chose #3, *ding ding ding ding ding* you win the satisfaction of knowing you are an excellent choice-maker!
3. To check the identification of, especially in order to verify legal age
And to that I say, “Bring it!” Card me any-stinkin’-time.
Many of you know (and those who do not know, you will now know…) I celebrated The 20th Anniversary of My 16th Birthday back in the October. In case your are desperately un-mathy (suchasmyself) that would mean, at present, I have reached the positively stunning ripe old age of 36.
I am sorry to drag out the whole “math thing”, but this is important. The legal drinking/entering a bar age (even in classy Red Robin) here is 21. I am 36. A person given over to numbers and Black Magic could quickly tell you the difference between 21 and 36 (or 36 and 21…) is 15. And in this case, that would mean 15 years. I, however, am not given over to math and Black Magic so I had to break out that hand-sized machine with numbers on it. You know, that one thing… it looks like this:
I am struggling with my point. I was carded. Twice. For serious. I am thirtystinkin’six! So I’m thinking that means I could TOTALLY go all 21 Jump Street, but maybe instead of high school I could be all under-cover sorority chick. Like, riiiiight??? *tilts head & smacks gum*
One week ago a server singled me out and said, “Aaaaaaand…. I am going to need to see HER ID.” She pointed over, around, under, and through to Me. It was difficult to maintain my innate sense of “cool” and not lunge forward and give her a big kiss. And my ID.
Then last night I’m just chillin’ with mah lady friends at the Red Robin. We there for margaritas and its convenient walking distance to the mall. Our plan was to walk off our margarita-ness as we annoyed all the store people with our the-kids-are-at-home-just-want-to-find-a-top-with-sequins-and-giggly selves.
That’s all.
Imagine my dismay and utter delight when the server lady looked at me. At. Me. ME. M-to-the-E and said, “I’m gonna need to see your ID.” Again, another case in which I wanted to kiss another woman. That phrase does things to me, people. Apparently. I do not discriminate.
However, instead of trying to make out with our foxy server, I stroked her fair arm and told her she was my new best friend. I believe I told her she was beautiful… should run for president… and it was quite possible she might have the answers to solving our current financial crisis as well as global warming.
I’m kidding about that last sentence. I hadn’t had a drink at that point.
So ends my story of perceived youthfulness… and not unlike the love of a pig in her warm pit of mud… I will roll around in the glory of these stories for a good long time.
Also, if you were so inclined… I know a girl with a blog who can be voted for in the “Funniest Blog” category. I know several great gals, in fact. Here’s a link, just incase you think you wanna…
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14 Responses to “I Got Carded.”
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Well… I also noticed your youthfulness last night my dear! Ka-friggin-chow! I’d say I know how you feel, but I don’t. *applies dollop of wrinkle cream to under eye area*
I haven’t been carded since…well, it’s been so long, I truly can’t remember.
I felt younger just sitting beside you being carded. It was awesome.
I totally had that calculator as a kid. It was my FAVORITE piece of electronic fun! Loved that you used that pic. See??- even without braces!
I can’t remember the last time I was carded.
I have been searching through crap at my parent’s house for the “Little Professor.” My kids could totally use that and what was that other one, “Simple Simon.” It was a talking spelling toy.
It’s the pink hair. I’ve been getting more ID requests since I went purple.
i just get annoyed now when i get carded because i know it must be due to some “official policy” or something. mostly, i get hit on by grandpas…. (it’s the silver hair! i tell myself)
Holy Mathematics! I have that same exact calculator! Must dig it up!!
Bah ha ha! I remember the “little professor”!!! Oh wait a sec, I just dated myself, didn’t I?
Woohoo for you for being young at heart and more
At my age, I think the only reason I get carded is for the young males to gather pertinent info about me (address, full name, etc.) and hopes of finding a Cougar… uhhmmm, won’t work with me: I am happily married; my kid is your age; would you truly know what to do with me??? (Very doubtful ~ I have been around the block a time or twelve).
I do so love getting carder though ~ SOOOOOOO GOOD for the EGO!
Darn, I so loved reading your blog. But now, I’m all jealous of your youth and I’ll have to steer clear until I get over it! Trust me. I haven’t EVER been carded…sad.
Holy crap…totally forgot about the Little Professor. I actually had that! I never had ANY of the cool toys, but dang it. I had that happenin’ calculator. I was envied.
I had a Little Professor too! He kinda creeped me out sometimes, but I knew he was cool so I stuck it out with him.
I once had to buy cigs for a play I was directing (in college). I didn’t get carded and I was so mad at the guy that I wanted to throw the pack right back at him. I refrained and seethed instead.