- September 24, 2008
- 14 Comments
- Delusions of Grandeur, General, Life of Jenny, Mental Pause, The Butt Series
You can quote me on this, but link and trackback, cuz I'm all about watching my authority grow on Technorati.
When life hands you lemons, start a blog.
- Jenny On The Spot, September 2008 -
My! GOSH! Am I a flippin’ philosophic genius, or what? Oh, don’t touch me… I don’t wanna burn ya, for I. Am. On. Fire!
I am also a poet and were Ansel Adams alive, he’d prolly compliment my mad photography skillz. He’d probably say something like, “Jenny, ON THE SPOT you are! You have such an eye for composition… shading… I can almost feel the wind blowing from the ocean shore… The juxtaposition of…” And at this point all I would really hear him say is, “Praise Jenny! Praise Jenny! Praise be to the highly artistically evolved Jenny! Oh the highly gifted Jenny! You bring balance to nature and have a great sense of style… You bring the “yin” to the “yang”… The “feng” to the “shui”… The “peanut” to the “butter”…”
So. Are you ready? Are you ready to see what happens when mad photography skillz and phenomenal poetry unite in perfect harmony? Are you sure you are ready? I mean, the peoples of the world might actually join as one – hand in hand due to this one piece of artistic genius I created… You may want to sit down for this:
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Now that I have reeled you in, may I ask your advice? Do these shells make my the butt of a perfect stranger look big? Or does my this butt of a perfect stranger make these shells look small?
Also, do you think I could pull off the whole “mermaid look” for Halloween?
Just trying to figure out my costume for when I walk downtown nabbin’ the good candy from the merchants before all the little people get it. *Note to the very kind, but obviously clueless candy-hander-outer people: Don’t hand out those little looks-just-like-a-strawberry wrapped candy! No one wants those! My Public wants Kit-Kats, Butterfingers, Reese’s peanut butter cups, Snickers… Give the people what they want!
**A post-publish edit… Candy people: All Adither wants Laffy Taffy and Skittles. I can’t have any until my braces come off – so Angie – you can have mine 
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And that, My Public, is why one should never eat brownies for breakfast. Children spin and tumble and tear curtains off windows when they have brownies for breakfast… This blogger gal right here, at this URL, she spins too – tales of grandeur! She also tumbles… truth into a web of insanity! Oh, and she might literally tear curtains of her walls, but that’s only because she has a poor sense of balance.
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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…
14 Responses to “You can quote me on this, but link and trackback, cuz I'm all about watching my authority grow on Technorati.”
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I actually prefer Laffy Taffy. And Skittles.
I always got so mad at the people that gave out those banana flavored candies. Seriously. Banana flavoring. Now that is something the whole world could have done without, thank you very much. People want chocolate. I always loved Sweettarts too. Got me through morning sickness.
Love the shells. Those, a little macrame, and some fake grass and you’ve got a costume.
You can keep the shells, can I have the butt? Butt transplant?
Debbie- I’ll take your banana flavored Laffy Taffy. Yumm!
Reese’s are my favorite! I keep chocolate chips in the house for just this reason (sure, you thought “choc chip cookies” – too pedestrian).
Fill a small bowl with peanut butter.
Sprinkle with chocolate chips.
Eat.
You are a photo-goddess!
If every you need to ‘repay’ me for the left behind oreos brownies are the way to go. Jus sayin…
You ARE a creative genius! I’m honored to be in the presence of your blog.
Rick
P.S. No one wants those orange or black wrapped taffy-like candies either!!!
You crack me up. Lord your nuts. Sure wish you were around here so I could hang out and spaz right along with you.
Dibs on the Mr. Goodbars and Hershey’s Special Dark Bars!!!!! I had TWO Halloweens with braces… it sucked!!! I mean, literally, I couldn’t chew any candy bars and forget about taffy.
You lost me at the Halloween candy talk. Mmmmm…Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups…Mmmmm….
Excuse me. I must eat some chocolate now.
Ok, I’m back. Both of my kids got their braces Right.Before. Halloween. Oh, they were not pleased when they had to give up some of their stuff. And their daddy & I were sticklers, sticklers I tell ya, on what was forbidden to them!
I keep a stash of Reese’s cups in the house. Hidden. For me only. Halloween is heaven for me because of my sweet tooth.
You could SO do the seashell bra. Me, too – and I wouldn’t even need very big shells! Maybe just little sand dollars…
Oh hell, I was reading and laughing ’bout the photog and then you shift gears to butts and shells, and I’m laughing some more.. and then you veer left into the Halloween candy and oh…gah….you hit me with a family jacked up on brownies………and I’m spent.
You.are.nuts! Oooh, like D, now I’m thinking candy. With nuts. Hey, you got any Almong Joy over there? How about Heath bars? I could be okay with a Heath bar tonight! Mermaid +You = stinkin hot on wheels, girlfriend. Go for it!
Don’t even mention Halloween candy to me. I picked the worst time of year to be more health conscious. I am trying to figure out how I will handle trick or treating. I don’t want tons of leftover candy that I won’t be able to help stuffing into my gob but I also don’t want the neighborhood teens egging my house.
Sometimes your posts are truly dizzying. You zig, you zag and do standing round offs. And that’s why I keep comin back for more!