Well, I’ve been working hard to… well, feel better overall.

Aaaaaaand try, try, trying to reduce my warehouse-store-sized-muffin-top to more of a standard-sized-muffin-top.

Am I making sense?

I really am just a woman who sets reasonable goals. I will always have a muffin top. I’m OK with that.

Well, not really, but that’s what I tell myself.

I tell myself a lot of things.

But that’s an entirely different post.

Aaaaanywho. I’ve been taking this challenge for the last month. Which means I am counting calories and exercising more. But in the last week, specifically, I have set my mind to the kicking of my own butt.

I hear that is considered hawt in some cultures. And crazy in others. So.

I have been going for the 500 calorie burn everyday for 7 days straight.

Like I said, I am a reasonable woman doing reasonable things.

And I was doing good… I went 5 days straight!

But on the 5th day I met kickbuttingboxing.

A “friend” (see :: below) had posted on The FB a few times about this kickboxing class and all of it’s calorie burning awesome. So I decided to take her up on the challenge.

I went.

BUT SHE DIDN’T.

::looks at Shayne::

Isn’t there something about crack dealers not smoking their own stuff?

I am a little naive when it comes to The Crack. Does one smoke it, shoot it or snort it?

I actually don’t care. Useless information.

I digress…

Kickboxing. And how my friend Shayne was being like a dealer and she wasn’t there to brave the pain/shoot up with me.

Right?

Aaaanywho.

You want to know what I think? I think God would have rested on the SIXTH day instead of the SEVENTH if he had gone to a kickboxing class.

That class is why I did not burn 500 calories a day for 7 days straight.

Because on Day 5 I kickboxed with Castor and on Day 6 I passed-out rested.

Actually, I started resting THAT DAY. I was passed out COLD by 10 p.m. That is unheard of for nocturnal webmistresses such as me.

People, I could not stay upright!

Even sitting was too much of a request for my kickboxed-out body.

Then on Day 6? I NAPPED.

HARD.

I was ALL up in the face of that nap.

Slobber. Limbs immovable.

I owned that nap in the same way a toddler owns a balloon animal. Don’t mess.

Mothers? You know that tired you feel the first few weeks after giving birth?

I WAS EXHAUSTED LIKE THAT.

But I didn’t have to wear those mesh undies and do all sorts of “undercarriage” care.

So… Kickboxing 1 – Childbirth 0

???

Turns out, a different friend, Staci, was at the kickboxing class! We parallel kickboxed!

::looks at Shayne::

I neither kicked nor boxed my friend Staci.

SUCCESS!

Funny thing though… When I got/dragged myself home I had a note in my FB messages from that Staci saying,

HEY!

BOOT CAMP!

And I think the lactic acid build-up had already reached my brain because I was all, “OK!”

::wild eyes::

::no, WILDER::

So on the 6th day I rested and on the 7th day I went to this “boot camp”.

At boot camp the guy forced us to do things… “worms” or “the worm” or as I call choose to call it, “the most unattractive thing to do in public ever”…

I also did more push-ups than I think is considered legal…

(I think I may be hooked)

See??? Just say no to drugs!

Wait. I didn’t do drugs.

Well, I know one thing for certain… I may be saying NO to stairs for the next few days.

Oh so much.

::ow ow::

::ow::

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An Essay on Kickboxing, Drug Dealers and Resting On the Sixth Day is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

I am in the middle of writing my most current, and possibly most moving “Return to You” story. A story of returning to the best me possible.

I am not at all dramatic.

In my lifetime I have “written” several of these stories. Life is like that. We are always changing, always growing.

Some of my own featured story themes have been: going off to college, becoming a wife, new motherhood, birthing the entrepreneur.

And now, today, I am shoulder-deep in a brand new story.

I’m not quite sure what to title this one? Maybe “A Coming of Age: The Coming of Middle(ish) Age”

As we age, our bodies change. Hormones shift. Stresses are different. Stress FEELS different. Heck, getting out of bed feels different! And oh, have mercy, am I right there right now!

I am thankful to have a positive history to reflect on. One powerful and very clear lesson I have learned through each phase is how important it is for me to tend to my health.

Friends, I’m talking about the “E” word.

Exercise.

I’m sorry. It had to be said.

Yes, it involves sweating.

Stay with me…

It’s not only in the sweating and cranking-up my heart rate that I see the powerful benefits. It benefits my emotional health as well:

• I feel better about my mood.
• I feel more capable.
• I make better decisions.
• I feel a bit sore when I get out of bed whether I exercise or not; I find the “I’ve been working out” sore so much more empowering.
• Exercising provides time for me to be with me, where I can think and dream and pray.
• It give me a chance to spend time with friends. Relational connectedness and exercise! DOUBLE good for the heart! Run or walk with a There’s something empowering about knowing I am keeping my heart strong.

In recent months I have been struggling. I look at my life and ask, “Why? Life is never simple and clean, but why has it become so much harder? Where’d that joy go? Where’d that energy go?”

I know what it is.

Exercise. I’m not making it a priority. Have mercy, my schedule is SO FULL! I have reasons for letting exercise go!

But forget the extra couple pounds this dip in exercise has left me carrying around. My heart and my mind are carrying around quite a bit, too. Even my husband has noticed the direct connection between my regular exercise and my emotional heart health.

I am in the middle of this “Return to You” story. I am nervous about how I will prioritize my time so I can get back to the positivity I know is waiting. I am also excited for that positivity; I know it is just around the corner.

Or a few corners.

Yes. Probably quite a few corners, but I can do this.

I have to do this.

What about you? Do you have a “Return to You” story? Are you in the middle of your own story? I’d love to hear from you in the comments… What is your strategy to getting healthy (physical, emotional, you name it) or what do you do to maintain it?

And don’t forget to check out Pfizer’s Page on Blogher.com to read other inspirational blogger “Return to You” stories.

*Disclosure: This post is shared in sponsored partnership with Pfizer’s upcoming ìReturn to Youî program.

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Return to You – The Great Return to Me is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

I know a number of you have seen this video already. This is one of my very first VLOGS. Like it isn’t totally obvi… it has “Baby Vlogger” written all over it.

But I feel it is imperative to share now… as we enter flu season. I know the video is on the long side, but I encourage you… watch it all the way through.

You have no idea…

Aaaanywho… This is serious. The flue is serious.

SERIOUS, people.

And one can never be too prepared.

My favorite YouTube comment on this video reads:

The wearing of a surgical mask is not recommended at this time, as they do not protect you 100%. Plus, the masks only seem to cause more alarm to other people, as well as panic for smaller children.

I have no idea what this person is talking about…

Another great thing about these masks is they are not only functional – they make a great Halloween costume as well! So if you are stumped on ideas and/or low on time this Halloween… throw together a swine flu mask!

1 surgical mask – .50

8 plastic army guys – stolen from child’s play bin

1 hot glue gun – everybody has those lying around

Swine Flu Mask for Halloween – PRICELESS

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Are you ready for flu season and/or halloween? is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

Seriously. I can’t find my orthotic inserts.

WHO LOSES THEIR CUSTOM ORTHOTIC INSERTS?

*ME*

OOOPS. I forgot to undo my caps lock.

WHO FORGETS TO UNLOCK THEIR CAPS LOCK?

*ME*

See?

I really have nothing else to write.

*liar*

I CAN’T FIND MY ORTHOTICS, ya’ll!

Even if I WANTED to go for a “run”… I couldn’t.

Hey! This might not be so bad so afterall… “I’d go for a run, but… where’s the cookie dough?”

I wear orthotics in my running shoes because I have SPECIAL feet, not because I have an OLD body.

Right?

*gives stink eye*

*in denial*

Unrelated… I started tracking calories. Again.

There ain’t nothing like going into the NOT end of the day and being at the end of your calorie alotment. There’s no lesson like the lesson of feeling hungry and that 100 calorie pat of butter could have been a 100 calorie snack.

Who knew 100 calories could be so precious (as said by Gollum).

Aaaanywho. I started counting calories again… to get my head back on straight. But this week has been a bit of, well… A WEEK and here is what my food journal entry for Tuesday read:

Too much cookie dough.

And that was all. BECAUSE I ONLY ATE COOKIE DOUGH.

I have no spine. But I do have some pretty strong carbdominals.

photo: taleitalei

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ANNOUNCEMENT: The TEMPUR-Pedic Final 5! Go here to find out who went on the the next level!

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Has anyone seen my orthotics? is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

So… the other day I decided to get a few things done:

• Shower…
• Actually dry and style my hair…
• Answer some emails…
• Vacuum…
• Whiten teeth…

Check, check, check, check and CHECK!

I am very pleased with the Crest 3D White 2 Hour Express Whitestrips. As I wrote before… I don’t feel my teeth were super-terrible, but there was definitely room for improvement! Whether it’s one or four shades whiter, if whiter is possible, I am SO there.

I’d say the strips definitely whitened my chompers… in just TWO hours! No daily routine… no remembering… I was going to be home anyway and used that time to tend to my teeth.

(Ignore that little hair sneaking in on the side of my mouth in the before pic – m’kay? Thanks…)

Whether you have a hot date, a big meeting, a class reunion,  or say… are making a VLOG… or simply want to be able to have the brightest smile possible, these 2 hour strips are a GREAT plan. I’m hooked. I have tried a number of other whitening strategies, and it is my honest position that this is the WIN for me.

If you’d like to try them out for yourself, be sure to follow this link and grab yourself a coupon! Crest 3D White 2 Hour Express Whitestrips are available at mass retailers and drugstores nationwide. For more information, visit 3DWhite.com, or visit them on Facebook!

*I am participating in a Crest 3D White 2 Hour Express Whitestrips campaign hosted by One2One Network. This is a sponsored post. All opinions and teeth are completely my own.

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Crest 3D White 2 Hour Express Whitestrips: Before and After and a Big Fat Coupon! is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

Teeth. I have, shall we say… healthy-sized teeth. They are teeth that just had their braces removed about 2 years ago. Which means they’re straight and sizeable (did I just call my teeth fat?). So when my teeth are white – they sure look nice but when the are not… it’s hard to not notice.

Now, I don’t have a specific event I need to whiten my teeth for – OTHER THAN EVERY DAY BEING IMPORTANT ENOUGH.

Friends, when these pearlies are not-so-pearly – it’s pretty clear that I’ve been hitting the coffee too hard. And I love me my coffee. Plus, as a world famous vlogger every video is a an event! I have to be ready when it’s time to hit “record”.

Enter Crest 3D White 2 Hour Express Whitestrips.

And here is a picture of my teeth before I used the strips:

Really, my teeth aren’t all that yellow and dingy. However, I know my teeth and I know their whiter, brighter potential. Go ahead, look. You can see some of that coffee and years of livin’ trying to hide the white. My chompers are simply not living to their full potential! I need to be ready for my next vlog, OR MY NEXT SMILE!

Friends… I ask you… What life event would you whiten for in just two hours with Crest 3D White 2 Hour Express Whitestrips?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go shower, tidy up the house a bit, answer a few emails, and oh heck… might as well whiten my teeth at the same time!

*I am participating in a Crest 3D White 2 Hour Express Whitestrips campaign hosted by One2One Network. This is a sponsored post. All opinions are completely my own.

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Crest 3D White 2 Hour Express Whitestrips: The Before Picture is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

That’s me there on the far left. I’m happy because I am not at the bottom of the lake. The rest of those peeps are my team. 4 swimmers and a kayaker. The woman next to me is my friend Chris, and she is to blame. The kayaker (on right) was there to basically taunt us. He had snacks. About a mile into the swim (note: 1.5 miles to go on an EMPTY BELLY!) I realized I was quite hungry. I popped my head up and told him, “I’m hungry!”

He said, “I can give you a granola bar for $12.”

Punk.

At one point I heard hissing come from the bottom of the lake. I was certain it was a fault that ruptured and we were going to get sucked to the center of the earth.

I gave myself a pep-talk, “Jenny. You are being ridiculous.” At which point my mind suggested instead the noise was from a missile heading straight for me or a preshistoric-sized dog-fish/pirana mix-breed… and he was probably ready for a mid-morning snack.

I am not good at open water swimming. Gimme chlorine and lanes. I can’t swin straight either. My right arm is a machine and I really could swim in circles all day.

Aaaanywho… As a result of my self-induced TERROR, I had picked-up my pace substantially. Like I could really outrun a ruptured fault line or missile. I finally convinced myself I was crazy or just going to die. Hitherhencetofore, I slowed down down in time to at least not die from a heart-attack.

Speaking of heart attacks….

3 DAYS ago I tried to run 3 miles… it was like nothing anyone has ever seen. Unless you’ve seen one of those movies with the horse delivering something very important… that is pushed to its limits and the horse neighs and fights and pushes and then just ends-up falling over from pure, utter exhaustion. And in the end, they have to shoot the horse.

I was almost that horse the other day. It wasn’t pretty.

Speaking of almost…

If there is one thing I will ever admit that I am good at – it is swimming (in pools, not lakes or oceans… tho I did win a body surfing contest once… it matters not how many were competing…)

That said – if there is ONE regret of my whole entire life – it would be that I didn’t have the animal madness that would have driven me to force my parents into financial ruin so that I could have chased my dream to be an Olympic swimmer.

*sigh*

If only…

I totally relate to Uncle Rico…

OK. Time to go make tacos.

Peace.

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Swim 2.5 miles across a lake with little to no training and NOT die? DONE. is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

And that’s all I got.

Oh, that and I did not drown.

Clearly.

I did get freaked out at one point… when I heard a hissssssssing sound coming from the bowels of Lake Washington.

I panicked-ish and looked for our kayaker (4 swimmers and a kayaker per team)… nearly calling out to him to save me from being sucked down to the bottom of Lake Washington… or to keep me from being abducted by a spacelakeship. Then I realized I was being silly.

So out of character.

I think that is pretty much about it.

Well, other than there were no 3 foot white caps this year (yay!), my left hand kept going numb and I may or may not have peed in my wetsuit.

What? Swim a mile in my wetsuit before you judge.

I think that covers it.

This is not my wetsuit. It’s the swim suit I wore under my wetsuit.

*Note: wearing yoga pants over a swimsuit does not a cute butt make.

I also got a pretty good neck-chafing. I bet you are dying to go swimming with me.

Ya know… I think I’d choose wetsuit induced neck chafing over the chafing I imagine one would get while jogging in a kilt…

Does Carheartt make kilts?

BEDTIME! G’night!

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I swam 2.5 miles yesterday. is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

Lost?

Actually… not so much.

I kicked those babies to the curb. For now, at least. Sure, I don’t know where they went, but I didn’t “lose” them either. Losing is unintentional… I didn’t wake up one morning to find them suddenly not there.

Not that I am at my goal weight. Not that I even know what that is. I just know I want to lose more. I always have.

I mean ALWAYS. Since 2nd grade. Why?

1) I love food, especially in social situations.

2) Toddlers have special blankets… I have food.

3) Though I am not big boned (seriously, I have wrists the size of a child)… I know I come from a strong people. I probably came from a line of women who needed muscles to haul dead cows up hills and such. In other words, I am physically capable… and there is nothing “skinny” about ample muscleage. And padding around said muscles….my people probably came from Antarctica.

4) Only water and Coke Zero have no calories. My problem — see #1 – social situations = especially delightful and high calorie beverages. Before I was 21, I would hit the local quick mart with my pallies for a daily thirsty-two oncer of soda…

Why do I share this?

I don’t know. I still want/need to lose more. In fact, I was hoping to have lost 10 by now. But Easter…

Truthfully, and fearfully… in a matter of days it could all come back. And I know exactly what it would take for that to happen. It would be SO easy.

How have a reigned myself back in (this 7.5 lbs has been creeping in over the last year) this month?

Through the only method that has ever worked for me – counting calories.

Period. That and making sure I keep on exercising.

In this month I have (not even consistently… every single day) counted calories. What calorie counting does for me is reminds me of how many calories I could possibly be consuming when I eat without thinking. It retrains me to understanding what a reasonable portion is… for MY body.

For example, when I don’t measure, I will use MORE than an ounce of cheese on scrambled eggs as opposed to a half. A difference of 50-100 calories. 1 ounce of cheddar is 100 calories. A 1/2 ounce is 50.

I measure the chocolate syrup I put in my mocha. That has cut at least 100 calories from each mocha I make. I use 6 oz of non-fat milk instead of 8. A difference of 20 calories. Um, you do know chocolate milk is an optimal post-workout recovery drink, right? You know I milk that! *pun intended*

It all adds up — 50 + 100 + 20 = 170 calories. Or more.

That’s, like 3 shots of vodka, people!!!

At dinner I add salad or an extra handful of raw veggies instead a bigger serving of spaghetti. A half a dinner roll instead of a whole one…

I don’t forbid anything… until I decide it is worth the trade.

1/2 tablespoon of peanut butter instead of a huge slather.

A sliced apple in the car to pick up the kids instead of a protein bar. 80 calories vs up to sometimes 300 calories depending on the bar.

This is my typical hearty breakfast, especially after a workout:

1/2 slice of high fiber bread – 55 calories

1/2 TBS peanut butter – 50 calories

1/2 c. fake eggs (decided to use these instead of real egss – saves 100 calories) – 60 calories

1/2 oz cheddar – 50 calories

zucchini, bell peppers… there are calories, but I don’t count veggie calories.

Mocha has 1 TBS chocolate syrup (50), 6 oz milk (70) – 120 calories

Total: 335

I end up full. And start my day right. I need that bread to help curb my cravings. I need the cheese, to give flavor. I could add salsa, but I don’t like salsa-d eggs. I make trades… to find food I like so I don’t end up losing my mind, and giving up.

When tracking well, I have generally kept my calories to 1600 these last 4 weeks. The days I don’t track, I am sure it is over that, but I keep portions in mind always. 1600 adds up fast, when making bad choices. Even when making good choices.

I never track veggie calories. That’s a gift I give to me.

I have chocolate everyday.

I know I could lose more. Lose it faster.

But.

I know me. If I restrict too far, too much… my eyes roll to the back of my head… and a Crazed Fiend Devil of Gorging takes over. And I’ll be back to square one in no time. Or worse… not try at all. So yeah… I will choose a half a dinner roll. Bread is bad, unless that restriction is what will push you off the wagon.

Right now, I am retraining my mind. My stomach.

I don’t diet. Ever. I am teaching me. Again. I may not ever be able to eat more than 1800 calories on average to be able to maintain where I need to be. Therefore, I am not dieting… I am learning how I need to live. With food.

I have battled issues with food and weight since 2nd grade. I know me. I can’t keep temptations around. I’ve tried to be stronger and decide I am stronger that finishing off that row of Oreos. I talk to God. “God. I know I am stronger that those cookies, dude!”

Perhaps. But why choose to have that battle? I don’t often buy Oreos. It’s a gift to me. But when I do… I eat them. I love them.

This is not intended as advice for anyone. This is what works for me. When I start creeping up the scale… this is what I have to do. Works every time. That Miami diet? Wait SOUTH BEACH… not for me.

I can’t. Denying is my trigger for rebellion.

So I do this. It works. I am always making effort. It (food… weight) will always be an issue. Always. I have struggled too long for it not to be.

It is inconvenient to take the time to count and measure… to sometimes let my stomach tell me I am hungry (she just needs time to shrink, she is not really hungry… she has 1600 calories!)… but it is easier  and more natural than all the other things I have tried and failed at. Uultimately, this is my path… not to be skinny. Remember, I come from a Strong People… but to living a healthier life and to feeling better – not only physically, but emotionally.

And to wear cute jeans. That’s fun too.

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My kids tried the new ARM & HAMMER® Spinbrush® MY WAY! and LOVED it.

Check out their reaction and check out a chance to win a $100 Visa git card!

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I have lost 7.5 pounds in the last month. is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

I know, I know… music is not WEARABLE, but go with me on this…

O.K., maybe I’m stretching the “what to wear” theme, but it’s not like there’s blog police arrestin’ bloggers for loose interpretation of weekly themes.

Plus, I am a rebel.

So.

Exercisers… or people who have been or want to strap on a pair of running shoes… What do YOU wear IN your iPod Nano/Shuffle/Touch or other MP3 player-type gadget?

I am going to share with you some of my own favorite work out songs. Here’s the deal – if I do not a have a friend running with me, or have to brave the room of mirrors (the weight room – *GASP*) at the gym… I haz got to haz some musical motivations. You know, pump up the jamz while I am huffing and puffing pumping up and whathaveyou.

I think I need to break these up into 2 groups – running songs and weights/functional training. I should note, this list is not for ones who like to “center” oneselves… this list is for kicking butt, shaping butt and being the boss of miles or the bosu ball or pushing one through to the last 4 bicep curls. Also, this is not a complete list, just my faves.

Running:

1. Ignition by Toby Mac – Probably my #1 favorite running song.
2. Boom by P.O.D – Wait. This is my #1 favorite. Oh this is a good pusher.
3. Momentum by Toby Mac – SO much this song. I mean, did you see the title? I like this one for intervals. Fast, slow, fast, slow…
4. Goodbye to You by The Veronicas – You know, running… saying goodbye to another pound, heart disease, and hello to cute jeans!
5. Sexy Chick (feat Akon) by David Guetta – Isn’t it clear why this song is SO perfect. Bring it? Gurl, I already brought it…
6. Like a G6 by Far East Movement – Runnin’… LIKE A G6!!! #boom
7. and Just Like Heaven by The Cure – This song is perfect for an outside run… wind blowing in your hair… just you and the road… just like heaven…

Weights/Functional training, etc…

1. Gangsta’s Paradise by Coolio – I am SO not kidding… street life is tough, and so are bicep curls. Tru dat.
2. Love Addict by Family Force 5 – They bad. Most FF5 songs will rock your exercise world.
3. Lip Gloss by Lil Mama – This song rocks. It is also my ringtone. Has a great rhythm that works for repetitive movement…
4. Just Dance by Lady Gaga – I have nothing to add. Lady Gaga.
5. Hot in Herre by Nelly – CLEARLY. Plus it drowns out the obnoxious grunters. There’s always one.
6. You Light Up My Life by Debby Boone – Haha. Kidding. Just wanted to see if you were paying attention. Heh. Heh.

So. Do you have songs that motivate you. That help you push on, push through or take you to the next level?

**For more about my work-out journey… a little bit of my history in my struggle to become an exerciser, please swing by this post on my review site.

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What to Wear Wednesday: Music is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...