What? You didn’t turn the page off your interwebz?
I actually have a post of substance I should mold and nurture… instead I share with you a personal struggle…
Buying tampons in bulk.
I don’t care how many years one has been purchasing the wide array of feminine hygiene products, it is never comfortable to plop one’s “goodies”… “pons”… on the counter. I am not afraid to purchase the needed items, but I cannot think of a time I have bought a pack of this-or-that where I haven’t looked for a checker-chick. I don’t want the fellas knowin’ mah bidness.
Secondlyandwhosoever… in this economy, I have become keeeeeenly aware of how expensive these necessities are.
NECESSITIES.
I mean, if we lived in the Biblical days, we’d just be cast outside the city gates to live in a tent for a week.
We don’t get that luxury today. No tent outside the city for the modern woman. Nope.
I digress… What I’m sayin’ is — this economy + coupon for tampons at grocery warehouse + 2 box limit = “the heck is wrong with HER insides?!”
And the whole while I’m nervously chatting about the economy and how awesome coupons are and the value of buying two 84 count boxes of tampons in bulk… so “people” only have to buy “CERTAIN THINGS” every 90 – 120 days or so… or less *ahem*
Golly. It reminds me of the time after my fist child was born.
Are you STILL here?
I needed “supplies”. Lots of supplies. I was well-read on parenting and the birth process, but I had no idea… NO. IDEA… about the wrath of the ”just gave birth undercarriage”.
Friggin’ Armageddon.
Still here?
Aaaanywho. I loaded up a cart of things that I felt would best behoove a woman in my bloody sad state.
I unloaded enough “supplies” onto the check-out counter. I perceived there was enough on that counter to clean up the oil spill of the Exxon Valdez back in ‘89.
I also had a 24 pack of coke. And candy bars.
Aaaand… a checker-dude.
I just looked down. I don’t think he saw my tears. I never screamed as afterbirth contractions riddled my new-mommy body. I remember crawling into my car, tearing open a candy bar and weeping… from pain, embarrassment and pure exhaustion. Aaaaand that is another story.
It was truly awful. Today was not so awful, but I still had to put two 84 count boxes of tampons on the check-out stand.
I compare buying tampons in bulk to wearing thong underwear. It’s never comfortable, but it’s not so bad after awhile. I… uh… aye… that’s… thah…har… at least that’s what I’ve heard.
*blinking*
This post was just all kinds of uncomfortable, now wasn’t it?
I am here to serve. *bows and hits head on desk on the way back up*
This all kind-of reminds me of the time my hubs and I had to buy… well… anywho… I did write about that too…
**********
Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…
Get Jenny On The Spot by RSS
Get Jenny On the Spot by Email
You can also follow me on Twitter!
Recent Comments