Blogger, mother, dreamer, swimmer, biker, runner, coffee-drinking mistress of silliness… all in exciting Kitsap County!
![](http://www.jennyonthespot.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/piratejoel-408x600.jpg "\\"pirate\\" joel")
I love you… So. Much. I love you even though 9 years ago today I experienced he greatest amount of physical pain I will ever experience in my entire life… but that’s a whole other story that I will have to tell you when you are much older… Like when you are 16 and want us to buy you a car and I will tell you about… “all the pain you put me through when you were born… I can’t believe you would ask anything more from your bless-ed mother…”
If I had the hard cold cash, or room in my budget to make the monthly payment on a credit plan… I would totally get my tummy “done”.
After gaining 50+ pounds in each of my 3 pregnancies, and then losing 50+ pounds three times… Miss Belly just couldn’t handle the pressure. All that stretching… well, stretched her to her limits and she’s just never been the same. Poor girl. And it seems I do have a threshold when it comes to public humiliation, so I will refrain from posting a picture or explaining further. Our lives will just be better that way.
Let me just say this, I am so grateful for clothes. Clothes = a really good thing. Oh, and layering rocks. It’s “camouflage” on a whole other level… “fashiou-flage”, if you will.
Anyways, I’d TOTALLY cosmesurgetize my bellyness. I know - I should be proud of who I am… “work it”… “own it”… be proud of my womanity… yadda, yadda, yadda…
I guess without a tummy fixin’ I could be a model…
***water spewing from nose***
I mean, they hire people who just pose for “before” pictures, right???
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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…
Today was The Last Day of School and it makes me feel old… aged… older… aging…. sad.
When my life evolved to the point where it made sense to have a baby, I pictured myself the mommy of a soft baby, with buttercream for skin. Forever. My daydreams never veered. The whole world was pastel and cooed… Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star was the theme song that played softly in my dreamy, baby mamma heart.
Imagine my surprise when I learned that lasted, like, a month.
Continue reading ‘Remember the Sunsets: The Last Day of School’
OK, readers and writers of the maternal persuasion. You are literate (I assume since you not only read but also write). You are woman. You are strong. And you are broken… because those little people we “fondly” call “our children”… anyway. Ladies, MommaSaid.net has a the perfect contest for you and your drive to be famous and fabulous and win a $250 spa basket. I know.
Do you have a story to tell? Actually - do you have a Mom’s True Confession? That is what the folks at MommaSaid are looking for… It’s called the TrueMom Confessays™ Contest. You can get ALL the details here. But you need to get a move on - submissions for the contest ends June 22nd…
I am planning to submit something. I am not exactly sure what… I am going to troll my archives - or wait a day or two until my kids give me new material to work with. I’m thinking I may want to try a video - ooh, and wear make-up… and… and… I better win. Game. On.
It seems that lately, the strongest emotion I feel towards my children is irritation. Like right now - they should be in bed, but they are not becauseIhavenoideawhy. I grind my teeth. I seethe. Profanities tear through my mind like farts tear through a digestive tract after a bean feed.
I like the word “fart”. It just has a ring to it. I also like “myocardial infarction”. It sounds like an educated person’s way of saying “fart”, except it is totally not. It’s another way to say “heart attack”. But saying “myocardial infarction” sound so much more… edumacated-like. Don’t you agree? I digress, in the worst sort of way. It’s how I cope. See I am not even focusing on the fact that mykidsarestillnotasleepandtheyshouldbeand *gasp* Iamlosingmymind…
This morning I fell in love with Lucy all over again. I find I get lost in the “to do’s” of the day and let the schedule shape my emotion and approach toward my children. Shame, shame, shame… Continue reading ‘I fell in love all over again.’
As I age, my standards get lower and lower and lower. Kind of like my… whatever….
My first child’s first birthday party had 2 character cakes (Bob & Larry of VeggieTales), goody bags, a BBQ with homemade salads, hand chopped produce, homemade side dishes, and hand made invitations as well as thank you cards… and like, 50 people.
Then there was his 8th birthday party - the one that was 4 months AFTER his birthday.
I’m thinking moderation is key. Joel’s first birthday was one extreme, his 8th was another. Funny how these events reflect the state of My mind… uber mania vs. uber guilt.
Continue reading ‘Party shortcuts: a few ideas on a Strawberry Shortcake party.’
Whoever said “Silence is golden”…
never knew a 3 year old who was supposed to be taking a nap.
Above: The “Silencers”
Below: Only part of Silent Non-napper’s artistic creation
If one looks closely - one can see little chunkies on those sweet fingers.
“Chunky what?” Nearly an entire jumbo tube of glue stick. Good times…. good times.
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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…
My daughter is 3. She is not potty trained. But she tells us immediately after she’s peed in her diaper.
Yup. You know you envy me.
Yesterday, she was having a hard time going, #2. It was such hard work that she fell asleep while sitting at the kitchen table drinking apple juice - in hopes of making the task of “clearing the passage” a bit “smoother”.
When she woke up I suggested we move her to the potty and try there…
Continue reading ‘The Exciting Journey That Is: Potty Training’
The Tooth Fairy finally came last night. She He left Olivia 3 crisp ones. After 3 no-shows, he/she needed to play make-up.
After the first time the TF didn’t show, I told Olivia it was probably a busy night for the TF… sometimes lots of children lose their teeth on the same day and there is only so much the TF can do. The next day, I gave her one of the possible reasons Blozulfog left in my comments on my original post,
…a whole kindergarten class in West Virginia lost all their teeth in one day eating popcorn balls so the tooth fairy was a bit overwhelmed…
Daddy told her the TF was nervous to come too close until Olivia got her cast on - she (TF) didn’t want to accidentally bump it. That’s a good one Daddy.
So. Olivia finally got her cast yesterday (ooh - purple!), and the TF finally came. But… BUT… she left the tooth on Mommy’s bathroom counter. I guess she didn’t need that tooth to help build “her mythical and ever expanding all-white tooth castle in the sky”. Olivia said, “Hey Mom! Why did the Tooth Fairy leave my tooth here?”
“Because she’s an idiot … I don’t know. She probably just set it down and forgot to pick it back up. I’m sure she’ll come back for it.” Oh the lies!!!!! Surely my heart is turning pitch black for what I am doing to my children. Black, I tell you, black - the color of evil!
Jen at Daily Mish Mash did some research on the matter of this winged creature that is prone to forgetfulness… She not only found the charming piece of information about “the all-white tooth castle”, but so much more… My favorite point she made is #6, and #5 made me throw-up in my mouth a little. What I appreciate the most about Jen’s post is - I am not alone. Misery loves company. If I have to feel guilty, I prefer to be burning my tongue on a hot cup-o-guilt with a friend.
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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…
Olivia cried early this morning, “The Tooth Fairy didn’t come!!!”
That darned tooth had been hanging for weeks. The Tooth Fairy SHOULD NOT have missed her delivery. Plus, Olivia just broke her wrist - the Tooth Fairy should never miss visiting the 6-year-old-girl with lopsided ponytails and a broken wrist.
Joel added from across the hall, “Yeah! Hey MOM! Remember the time the Tooth Fairy forgot to come for FOUR NIGHTS?!!!”
Yeah. She remembers. Maybe the Tooth Fairy should start depositing the cash straight into the kids’ therapy fund.
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