BUT, for a brief moment (approximately 10-20 seconds) I was Just. Like. Lance. Armstrong. You see, it is rumored he races at 95% of his maximum heart-rate. And for 10-20 seconds, I raced at 95% of mine! BFF, Lance!
On Saturday my sister and I ran in a local 4 mile race. Picture. Picture. We were so race-ready, on the heels of disco-ing away Friday night at a local casino. We danced from 9 to 1:30 - and only took breaks when the band did. And might I mention it is imperative that one maintains adequate hydration when one is disco-ing like a fool the night before a race.. and only gets 5.5 hours of sleep.
Pre-post business (heh, I wrote “business”): Due to my poor technical skillz - I can’t fix my broken Wordpress photo uploader… I am afraid to add a Flickr application for Wordpress to load my pics in a post (instead of the Wordpress uploader)… and my “blog this” settings are jacked in Flickr so I can’t even blog a pic from there. SO INSTEAD - if you click RIGHT HERE you will see a great shot of my BlogHer namebadge - and the sparkly shirt I eventually ruined for all the wine I spilt on it.
Oh. I remember this card! Did I meet her at the Newbie Mixer, or was it the People’s Party after I spilled half-a-glass of wine all over my semi-splarkly white shirt that won’t return to it’s natural semi-sparkly whiteness. Drats. I wonder if I can get another at Old Navy… Or did we meet at that Speed Dating thing… Doggone stain!…
And while the details become more fuzzy as the cruel hands of time frey the strands of my memory… I am still the girl who gets lost following inane tangents… who finds herself writing about Old Navy instead of BlogHer ‘08. See?!
Should I start with the Newbie Mixer where the juice of fermented grapes flowed like a waterfall? Yes. I should start at the place where one would merely look at another Newbie and conversation flowed like a river of water (because isn’t that what usually flows through rivers - water?). See - tangent!
My new friend: What do you blog about?
Voice in-my-head: She used the word “blog” and looked neither confused nor irritated! I think I am in love with her!!!
Me, using my outside voice: Oh, I’m a mom, so I got the “mom thing” and then just a bunch of silliness… some serious too, but mostly…. yadda, yadda, yadda…
My new friend(s): Do you have a card? I have a card… ***Squeals, hugs, giggles, blog, blog, blog, blog, blog!!!***
I met my first blog-celeb at the newbie mixer - Kristy Sammis of She Just Walks Around with It! She also writes for BlogHer… which is where I discovered Kristy. Her post there titled Balls of Death nearly killed me for all the uncontrollable laughing it evoked from the very core of my being. I think I may have scared the poor dear with my enthusiasm and gushy-ness - kind of like putting too much frosting on a cupcake. I know… there is no. such. thing. as TOO MUCH FROSTING! Unless, you’re a real human, and then, maybe… just maybe… Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to NOT follow a “frosting” tangent?!
Aaaanywho - from the Newbie Mixer Jen and I headed to The People’s Party, where she introduced me as “Drunk” instead of my given name “Jennyonthespot Jenny”. Let me tell ya’ll something about me and Jen - we were college roommates - at a Baptist college. We never drank… well, OK, there was 1 time. But other than that - I liked to play it safe and not get kicked out of school. So, Jen has never seen me “not ‘drunk’… but ‘at ease’”. I was also very excited and my altered alter ego (Jennyonthespot) got to hang out with real-life people! She was so ecstatic.
We left the Newbie Mixer and headed off to The People’s Party (view my picture here) with wine spilled down the side of my cute white top. But you can’t see it in this video. This was actually supposed to be a picture, but the camera was in video mode and, well… I was unable to discern the camera mode for all the “at ease” I was feeling.
That’s me, Jen, and… help!!!
It was in the hallway near The People’s Party that Jen and I met Violet the Verbose of Verbosity Abounds. We and Violet ended up spending much of the rest of the conference together. Without planning, we’d just meet up - it was like… destiny :) “Violet” - I don’t think I ever told you, but you have the greatest smile. Very warm and welcoming. Anyone want to see that smile? CLICK HERE! ”Violet” It was awesome to have time to get know you and to start a friendship :)
Oh, I’m not done.
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Ya’ll heard of the newest workout dance craze - ZUMBA? Oh wait, it’s only new here… a mere technicality… It’s a Salsa-esque dance/aerobic class. My gym just started offering it. I resisted at first because I really only like to dance when it’s dark and the reality that others perceive is altered - a lot. Ya know, so even the moves of a big purple dinosaur could pass for the chillin’ moves of Vanilla Ice if the conditions are…. Just. Right. I have not been introduced to others as the best dancer in Kitsap County (OK, once) fer nuthin’. I’m serious.
I decided to give the class a try this a.m. My brave mother and sister came along. I am so proud to call them family. We swizzled and cha-cha’d and step-double-ha-ho-yipped all around a floor that usually hosts a boring ‘ol step class.
A gal I have come to know and adore was there too! She may not know I have a crush on her though. Why the crush? She sings in a band, that’s why! She also rocks the tambourine, and in case I haven’t mentioned I also seriously ROCK the tambourine (I confess, it’s air-tambourine, but… anyway…). She and I have so much in common! BFF!! 2 cute + 2 be = 4gotten!!!
I hope no one tells her about my blog.
So, I got to “Zumba” next to my local real-life-rock-star-friend… singer and tambourine vixen of the local band One Shot Molly. Oooh - check ‘em out!
Still curious about Zumba? Here’s a video. There are many videos out there and I chose this particular one because of the older gentleman in the black shirt (look for him at seconds 9-12). I think he and I could do some serious Zumba damage…
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I landed in Seattle around 10:30 last night. As I made my way to the baggage claim, I realized I was surrounded by airport strangers who just weren’t as excited to meet me as I was to meet them. Whut? I know! So, I saw fit that I have a little talk with myself as I came down from my BlogHer ‘08 high. Perhaps, I had overdosed - or at least gotten reeeeeeealy comfortable with extreme extroversion. So much.
Somewhere between the Newbie mixer on Thursday night and leaving the city of San Francisco Sunday morning, I became all too comfortable with saying “Hi!” in excitable ways, reaching out for hugs to warm-looking strangers and just striking up conversation with any-stinkin’-body, ‘cuz… That. Was. Why. Everyone. Was. There! Fear of rejection - No! OK, I might add that the evening mixers also included free liquor - nothing helps bring people together like a little drinky-drinky. I digress.
ANYwho… On the long walk for my baggage (literally, not figuratively) the following is the discussion that was taking place in my head… These types of conversations are especially easy to have when an individual has more than one personality:
I arrived at Jen’s place yesterday! We are heading out to San Francisco shortly - hoping we’ll be there in time to catch the BlogHer Newbies Mixer! ***crossing fingers***
But before I got to here… I had to get on a plane and fly here… and you know what happens on planes… don’t you? You meet people. And you know what happens when a blogger meets people… don’t you? She finds a story.
I met Cody on the plane. He was a fella in his early 20’s who openly shared about why he got fired from his last job. He shared quite a bit about his love of alcohol and how his granny used to help him pack his suitcase full of liquor they’d buy at the commissary and she’d send him home with gallons of liquor. When he was 18. That’s Granny, always lookin’ out for her boy :)
I learned so many things about Cody and his young life in our 1.5 hours in the air. Like, how his jaw was broken when he joined in on a street brawl and was slugged by a guy wearing a pair of brass knuckles. I also learned a little about genetically modified corn. Whu? Yep. I did.
My favorite moment was when we got our 100 calorie pack of cheese crackers. He looked at the bag, looked at me, looked at the bag, held up the bag and said, “This is so dumb! What’s up with 100 calories?! It. Is. SO. Jacked. Up!!” I was all shaking my head up and down and from side to side because I was so confused. Where was he going? The ladies - we luv us some 100 calorie pack snacks, so I wasn’t following.
Then he said, “I mean - without calories You. Are. $%^ed!!!” He dropped another of many f-bombs…
True that Cody. I think he should be the new spokesperson for say, Hostess. He could hold up a a box of Twinkies and exclaim, “Without calories you’re &*^%ed! Eat Hostess cupcakes and save your life!!!”
Gosh. What am I not a hot-shot in the advertising world? I am On! Fire!
Posting today is a struggle. One reason is - utter physical exhaustion. I feel like I am participating in a relay obstacle course… except there’s no one to tag to go to the next obstacle. I just tag myself and keep going.
Another reason is burden. Sadness. In May my husband’s uncle was killed in a motorcycle accident… which brought up latent sorrow from his dad’s death last September. I just can’t seem to bring myself to write about any of it. Not that I need to, but at times I feel like I am not being honest with those who read this… I tend to shove the more painful stuff aside and dig into utter silliness. I suppose it’s my way of coping…. maybe escaping.
I saw a grandpa-type-man today and thought of my father-in-law. The man was wearing a goofy old-man hat. I looked twice because I could imagine Jim wearing that along with his warm, loving smile.
the other day… To the 2-4 year old class. There were 10 of Them. Ten. My chest hurts thinking about it.
I got my degree in Social Studies. I received a teaching credential to teach at the secondary level. I actually taught high school for a whole year. I decided to teach youth because I was afraid of little people. I was afraid of - Yard. Duty. If I wanted to be a bouncer, I’d have worked at a bar.
You know what I think? I think pubescent lunacy is tame compared to… to… Preschoolers. In. Sunday. School. I’m quivering.
How the hockey sticks does classroom management work in Sunday School? Can you give a detention to a 2 year old in Sunday School? Not so mauch. Where’s the principal? Back up! I need back up!
If I had the hard cold cash, or room in my budget to make the monthly payment on a credit plan… I would totally get my tummy “done”.
After gaining 50+ pounds in each of my 3 pregnancies, and then losing 50+ pounds three times… Miss Belly just couldn’t handle the pressure. All that stretching… well, stretched her to her limits and she’s just never been the same. Poor girl. And it seems I do have a threshold when it comes to public humiliation, so I will refrain from posting a picture or explaining further. Our lives will just be better that way.
Let me just say this, I am so grateful for clothes. Clothes = a really good thing. Oh, and layering rocks. It’s “camouflage” on a whole other level… “fashiou-flage”, if you will.
Anyways, I’d TOTALLY cosmesurgetize my bellyness. I know - I should be proud of who I am… “work it”… “own it”… be proud of my womanity… yadda, yadda, yadda…
I guess without a tummy fixin’ I could be a model…
***water spewing from nose***
I mean, they hire people who just pose for “before” pictures, right???
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If you haven’t been to New York, you may not know what a margarita looks like in “the city that never sleeps”. By the way, NYC is not as “never sleeps” as is touted - because when I wanted Cold Stone ice cream at 3 a.m., Cold Stone was definitely NOT awake. I felt a wee bit deceived. Anywho…
Because I got your back, my readers and lurkers… I took pictures of The MargaritaMargar-Awesome-Ita in NYC.
Before…
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Afterer…
I enjoyed another Margar-Awesome-Ita, but for the life of me, I couldn’t find my camera to take another picture. Maybe it was because by the end of the second beverage-of-awesomeness I just focused on lady-like barstool balance. That’s me, always respectin’ the public. Ka! Pow!
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