a.k.a How Jenny Packs

In my OLD way of packing for trips, I would decide on entire outfits… then pack the pants, shirts, undies, glitter, etc…

And then I’d get to wherever it was I was going and forget… What pants with what shirt? What? Who? How? Huh???

I know it shouldn’t be so difficult, but for me it has been. It has been said that times of trial can bring triumph. If not before just now, I just did, so it has been said…

I digress.

And out of my own struggle I have developed a strategy.

Seriously. This is what my life/packing has come to.

I decide on entire outfits (even undies), pack each outfit together… and just like a cherry on top I stick a post-it note on the top of each outfit…. Monday, Monday evening… etc… so forth and so-onforthandsuch.

BEST. GIFT. TO. MYSELF. EVER.

So.

What little packing tips do YOU have that have rocked your own world? Please share? You may rock the world of someone else too!

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Packing Tips for the Poor Decider is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

Olivia’s birthday was yesterday.

For years, and for every birthday, we hang up a “Happy Birthday” sign. Just some sign I got at some party store years ago.

But it’s become old. Tired. And it’s a dumb-looking sign.

Lame. Yet festive.

When I was growing up, every birthday morning I’d wake up to a sign my parents made. A BIG sign made from butcher paper, hanging in the dining room or living room. “Happy Birthday Jenny!”. My parents and sister decorated the sign with notes, silly jokes and silly drawings. I loved those signs.

I have kind-of tried to carry on the tradition… a cheesy party store sign.  Not anywhere near as great as what my parents did for me, but in my “better than nothing” state-of-mind… it was better than nothing.

At least my kids didn’t have anything else to compare to, so they love it when the sign comes out.

But as I went to grab that old sign for Olivia’s birthday morning, I said to my self, “SELF. That is a stupid sign. You can do better than that.”

I also said to myself, “SELF. It is 11:30. What other option do you have?”

Within moments, and in a rare moment of genius… I opened up a new Word document. I set the font size to 550 and assigned different colors to different letters, and 5 minutes later… a new sign! It’s not grand. It’s not fancy (taped to the window), but simple, sweet and happy…

And wicked cheap.

The thing is, I would have loved to have hand-made a swaggy, fabric swag cutey sweet thing to drape across the windows. But I had 2 choices:

1. Do something I could do… keep it simple, but fun.
2. Hang up the old sign.

Friends, I used to pull together some pretty fabulous party-ness… back when I was a new mom. But I just about killed myself doing it.

Poor new mommies. SO much pressure. *rubs shoulders of the ghost of New Mommy Jenny*

I am not that mom anymore. I want to put in effort to make my kids’ birthdays different from regular days, but folks… life. LIFE. I just can’t maintain what I had set out to do when I was a driven new mommy with ideals and plans and something to prove.

I think I have proven I can’t hack it. And I am totes cool with that.

Though I do have plans and ideals, but they don’t involve hand making a robot costume until 3 a.m. the night before Halloween. Instead, they involve printing out colored letters that spell “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” at 11:30 at night.

So. Simplifying. Is it cheating or is it sanity?

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Simple. Sweet. Happy. is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

EEK. Time management?

To loosely apply something that Mr. Furious from Mystery Men said, when opening-up a topic such as time management it can be a “…Pantera’s box you do not wanna open.”

But you know what, we don’t really have a choice, now do we?

Who reading here right now has enough time?

*crickets chirping*

See? Life is crazy. Life is FILLED. For me, the problem is I pack our schedule so tight that when an emergency or something important or something fun or something special comes along at the last minute (or not-so-last-minute), THERE IS JUST NO ROOM. Enter margins…

[photo credit here]

Margins? Yes, margins.

Stay tuned next month to read my Genius Tip on how I beat/tackle this challenge!

Share your thoughts below on how this theory of margins can bring added time and sanity to your schedule. For a chance to win the new iPad2, ‘like’ Kenmore on Facebook and let us know in your reply!!!

*This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Kenmore. The opinions and text are all mine.

Household Challenge: Managing Time is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

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Another PSA and Peeve: Blogs with Auto Play Music – NO! is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

I decided to give up giving up.

What?

Aaanywho.

I took the kids to the grocery store with me because I love taking my kids into public spaces. Let’s face it, I am a self-punisher. It builds character, and MAN, have I earned my fair share of character in these 10+ years of mothering.

Fortunately, during this particular outing, no character-building happened.

However, it was Fat Tuesday… and all of my fun pallies that work over there at the Central Market were wearing Mardi Gras bead on account of the fact that it was Fat Tuesday.

Being the “with it” kind of gal that I am, I asked my girl Debbie, “Why the beads, yo I love the bling!?” She was all, “FAT TUESDAY” … yadda, yadda, yadda …Mardi Gras!

“I knew that.”

As we walked away, the questions came a-firin’ from the kids squad: “What’s Fat Tuesday? What’s Mardi Gras?”

I said something about Lent.

“What’s Lent?”

BAH! What’s with the inquisition?

I held them off until we got into the car. The public did need to hear my stammering. I mean I KNOW what those things are, but knowing and explaining are two very different beasts.

Ya know? Please don’t make me explain, m’kay? Thankyouverymuch.

I was able to boil down to: on Fat Tuesday people get to indulge (then I had to explain THAT word – jeese!) the day before giving up something you love for 40 days.

Then I went straight into telling them their chores for the day.

What did I get back?

Joel (10): Can we work really hard all day today? Then we can give up working for Lent!

Mom (noneofyourbusiness): You have to give up something you LOVE, dude.

From the back seat, I heard the sweet 7 year-old voice of my daughter…

I love work.

Stinkers.

I am sooooo out-numbered.

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Lent, Fat Tuesday, Mardi Gras and the Inquisition is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

JD, may I use that phrase? I know you own the whole, “I *insert action here* so you don’t have to” concept. And it’s true! She does it ALL so we don’t have to. She’s a giver like that. She even ate sardines! I would NEVER do that for you… but mostly because my tummy is so full of Oreos and coffee all the time.

Aaaanywho. I digress.

I want to re-post my story about a cleanse I did a little over a year ago, in case you missed it. We are embarking on a season of resolutions. A time when we feel motivated to eat our veggies or purge our inboxes… or colons. Depends on the individual.

Here’s a picture. Totally unrelated. I’m getting too wordy. *eyes cross* Lucy got “polka bot” jammies for Christamas this year… I got my own last year. She made us wear them together the night she got hers. We took pics. I love how she puts on her best face for pictures:

Aaanywho – here follows my post – The Great Cleanse FAIL of 2008. May this serve as a reminder — I did a cleanse so you don’t have to. Learn from me. You don’t have to know what I have known… It is my 2010 gift to you *cheesy grin*:

I started a “cleanse” yesterday. It was to last for 16 days. DAYS. So, pretty much, if I have ever laid at the doorstep of Hell…

This — is my story as the day unfolded:

*The day started off great. I took my thyroid medication and waited an hour… I love waiting an hour to eat everyday for probably the rest of my life. My thyroid is so lame.

*I prepared my 1 cup of water and 1 tsp. of psyllium powder… to be followed by one cup of water married with the juice of half a lemon.

*Psyllium water tastes like A**!!! I’m sorry. I gagged and gagged and… MOTHER OF PEARL!!! Licking mold off bread might have gone easier. *gag*

*Breakfast: egg white omelette with onion and mushrooms. Alright.

*Not alright. Why can’t I add tomatoes and zucchini, spinach, maybe some YOLK??? *hack*

*My Twitter post: “Jenny is hungry, under-caffeinated, has a raging headache, wants chocolate … and is cursing the concept of healthy eating. *raises fist to sky*”

*Another Twitter post: “Note to self: water spiked with psyllium powder triggers your sensitive gag reflex. Also, no amount of lemon water can unring THAT bell.”

*I suck down more lemon water, regular water and 2 cups of peppermint tea.

*Warning – TMI: Aunt Flo came over today. Great. I’m am laying at the doorstep of Hell and Aunt Flo just opened the door of Hell – and hit my head with it.

*I want a Frito boat.

*The husband and I nearly divorced for all the hunger and not seeing straight. Did I mention he’s doing this too? It’s his fault. HE wanted to do this. I’m giving him moral support. I have no idea why I don’t have a golden cape to wear and a diamond-studded chalice to drink psyllium water from.

*I can’t see. My optic nerves are not receiving adequate nourishment.

*Broiling fish. That’s funny. I always thought fish were born with a layer of batter or breading. And for that matter, where’s the “-n-chips”? I thought Greek name for fish was “fish-n-chips”.

*More tea. Joy.

*Did someone just say casserole? Because I think I just heard somebody say, “The cheesy, yummy dinner casserole is ready!!!” No? I didn’t just hear that?

*Can someone die from drinking too much water?

*Is it safe for one’s head to pound so violently???

*Seriously fighting to make it just. one. day.

*Twitter: Can’t. Type. So. Weak…

*Can I just have 1 bowlful spoonful of peanut butter???

*Can I just have ONE simple carb?

*No? Then 800mgs of Ibuprofen it is.

*Twitter: When coming off caffeine… do you lose the feeling in your limbs first or your brain?

*Just a block of cheese? One. Block. It doesn’t even have to be Tillamook.

*For the love of…

*My brain… I can feel it… it is beginning to atrophy… Send. Help…

*I bring home burritos the size of my thighs.

*Twitter: Cleanse FAIL. Still no coffee, but my belly is full of the most delightful carne asada burrito. I’d feel shame if my belly wasn’t so happy.

*Was gonna just eat half that thigh-sized burrito, but so many brain cells had been destroyed over the course of my cleanse, I forgot about my good intention.

*Drank 2 beers. Really.

*Went with mah fren Lisa and sang a couple of songs for our public… Cher’s “If I could turn back time”… *how fitting* and the Dixie Chicks “Earl”.

*I never said I was perfect… just awesome.

*Aaaaand scene.

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In Which I Save Your 2010: I Did A Cleanse So You Don't Have To is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

But first, a video:

Crazy, ehh?

This is a different world for us. For our children. How do we navigate this new social world?

I recently went on a bit of a social media fast. I am still processing what changed for me. Some quick thoughts:

• I feel like I lost ground… in the social media world. I lost some of my grip on the fast moving train, but I don’t feel like I fell off. I am still not back to Twitter like I had been. That could simply be due to the fact that life demands things of me where I simply cannot tend to that area of my interest… of my life.
• I feel like I gained ground. But not much. The laundry was never completely done, the kitchen was never completely cleaned, the kids were never completely satisfied.
• It was not a complete fast. I still had paid gigs to tend to and I simply could not abandon email. Not that I NEED email, but my circle of contacts and friends have come to expect email is as reliable as a phone message. I cannot ignore email.
• I found I missed Facebook. “No kidding” was your first thought, right? I find I missed it for a reason I didn’t expect. I felt left out. Like the kid who was grounded. I felt like I missed out on news and happenings… good news, sad news, writing birthday wishes on walls, jokes, banter… I learned Facebook has become a tool I really rely on to feel connected. That seems obvious, but  this “fast” showed me the extent it has affected my feeling of connectedness.
• Email is still my nemesis.
• It is hard to read all the blogs I desire to read. During this time my passion to try to keep up on other blogs was realized. Now the struggle is finding a system.

But what got me thinking about writing this was a post at Mashable, Facebook Quitters: Find Out When Someone De-Friends You.

I posted the link to the article on my Facebook page and wrote:

Honsetly. How do you feel about this being notified when you are unfriended? I am not a fan. And I am pretty sure I lost 2 “friends” because of this posting, but not sure who because I have not signed up.

The fact that I do not know who has unfriended me may call my opinion of “friend” into question. Facebook “friends”, for me are not only close friends, but also acquaintances. Past friends or childhood connections… maybe after a reconnection the excitement of finding that old pal from preschool you shared a wagon with during recess, just the memory of them is more fun than the present reality of who they are. Or they are too offensive, or boring, or play too many games that post on your news feed…

I will admit, finding out you have been de-friended/un-friended has a bit of a sting… Which brings me to the “meat” of this post. Is it really “cool” to simply click an option and end a “friendship”? Is it relationally responsible? I am not saying it is or it isn’t. I’m just asking.

I have unfriended one person. I doubt they noticed. It was one of those people who never checks, never interacts, and had a profle pic I was uncomfortable with, and I will probably not run into that person as I engage in my real life. But what if they did notice? Do they deserve an explanation?

There is so much criticism about people breaking up by text… is this any different? It feels like cutting-off conversation. I have been unfriended a number of times… I am not aware of each individual that has, but I have figured out a couple. We were not close. Perhaps they wanted to peek? I think I offended one with an encouragement on relaxation: to drink some wine:) Perhaps it was offensive to have written that on her wall. If that was the case, I’d have offered apology and would have been mindful of how I encouraged her next time. And in reality, I don’t know what happened, but her choice jogged my memory of a difficult relationship in our youth. With many connections (due to FB) from my youth, the exchange has been delightful. We have grown. But perhaps not all of us have.

All this spontaneous un-friending causes me to worry (for lack of a better word)… about people being able to avoid “issues” and not work things out – among friends. Will this become our culture? I do not allow my children to stomp off when they are displeased. We work things out. Not that this applicable to all situations, but I hope you catch my drift.

Nowadays I appraoch friendship on Facebook with a narrower scope, but broader opening. I warn potential Facebook friends that I am noisy. I wait longer to ask if the person is on Facebook. While we may hit it off IRL, our FB friendship style may just not match. I am silly, noisy, play-up my “awesome”… yet I’m really a withered-up black ball of hopelessness and insecurity on the inside.

But I like to play. And that is irritating to some. Others have their Facebook “issues”… but I post often… links, videos, comments, status updates… and it is too much for some. I guess, ultimately, I figure if somebody wants “out”, they can get out. I don’t need to be notified, they can have a safe way. But if there is something I did, maybe we can chat?…

And I think I just am bothered on a more global level. Being able to slip in and slip out… is just another step in our culture’s ability to enable this growing trend in evading responsibility.

There is always the exception. But…

What are some things I do to help manage my relationships on Facebook?

• I like to use the “hide” feature. I use it on those who’s noise is not as appealing or personally interesting. I can peek in and say “Hi”, but do not have to give my news feed wall space for them. I care about them, but do not care to hear it all. Of course, if you happen to be a FB friend, I have not hidden YOU
• I have blocked nearly every application. I don’t pass drinks anymore, nor do I tend any gardens. Some people LOVE this stuff, and I am genuinely happy for my friends to have found an activity that fits them and is a source of fun or relaxation. I have learned my relaxation in Facebook is conversation, sharing ideas, and acting silly. And sometimes a rant or two. My idea of a fun night on Facebook is browsing the walls of my friends and getting a better idea of who they are, what they like and adding a comment… posting a link… making a video… So… if we are Facebook friends, and I don’t send you drinks, it not becuase I don’t like to get my drink on… rather, I am showing my interest in you by *trying* to keep up with you. We all have different ways we show we care. I do appreciate the drinks and invites, but I find if I entertain all of those invites, I’d have very little time to actually engage with the people I made friends with.
• I make lists that help filter the feed page. I have several… for example: Childhood, College, My Homies, Family, Bloggers, and a few others. That way, I can select a list and only see updates for the people I put in that list.
• I am open to un-friending poeple. I believe one needs to be able to protect and manage one’s space and reputation. I almost had to do it with one “friend”, but after a series of private messages and then a very inappropriate comment on my wall, I removed the comment. The “friend” promptly “un-friended” me once I deleted her comment. She knew where I stood, but pushed the line anyway. “Conversation” had been a previous process. I feel fine about how it ended. I tried, she pushed.
• I will delete comments. I may or may not offer an explanation why. But I will give one if asked. It is usually pretty clear. A number of teens are my friends on Facebook and I feel a level of responsibility to keep some level of PG… even if at times it is PG 13.
• I don’t friend anyone under 14. I need to have a space. I have had a number of requests from kids as young as 9. I adore these kids, but I am an adult, who keeps it pretty all-ages appropriate, but… I am an adult who needs some space to complain about her period or male whale tale fail. And I have adult friends who are funny, and write on my wall, and I want to not to have to worry about feeling the need to censor some acceptable, yet adult-style humor.
• I have not met all my FB friends in real life, but… I’d like to think that each one could be trusted to know I am not home for the weekend. I am fairly choosy about my FB friends because I like having a space I can open up a little more… to freely post pics of my kids, and not worry about who is observing.

This last point brings me to Twitter… what are my thoughts on Twitter (notthatyouasked)…

• I look at every profile of the people I follow, and have visited the website or blogs of most. If I send a direct message, it is from me and not a bot. I am not a big-shot though, so it is managable. However, it does take time.
• Unless I am familiar with a new follower I am not already following, I wait a couple of days before I follow back. I’ve noticed it weeds out the spammers who just want followers. If you can’t direct message them, then it means they are not following you anymore. That makes my choice easy. Since I look at every profile, i look to see if “message” is an option. If not, I do not follow.
• I block the pornies. I don’t block the financial peeps, but I’m thinkin’ about it. I am getting braver when it comes to blocking. As I become more familiar with who and what is out there, I realize the ability to keep the creeps away is a valuable tool…
• If someone follows me, but has a locked account… I will not ask to follow them, unless they @ reply me when they follow… or eventually. I feel uncomfortable asking to be let in, even if they followed me first. What do you do?
• BUT, I will ask to follow someone with a locked account if there is a level of familiarity.
• I don’t usually tweet my location. But I have on rare occasion. Like at BlogHer… My family was at home… I was out of town, but not alone. I encourage folks to be choosy about how specific you are. There is a a great benefit (say, arranging a cab-share with fellow Tweeters at a conference), but we need to be wise and understand there is an added risk when you are sharing your location with 500, 1000, 1500… or more people who you probably don’t know.
• I NEVER Tweet that I am not – or no one is at home. The same with this blog. That’s just plain safety right there. You and Twitter will find out about my vacation AFTER my vacation.
• I sometimes check Friend or Follow… to keep up on who has dissed me – haha I use it as a spam filter. There are a number of people I follow who do not follow me back, but I enjoy their Tweets. I hope someday they’ll like mine, but if not… that’s cool. I enjoy what they have to say regardless of me. But the spammers… they must be put in their place! Friend or Follow is the most time-efficient way for me to keep track.

I think that is plenty. I am interested in your secrets or philosophy. I get to share about some of this in October at local MOPS group. I’d love to add the advice and input of my fellow social media mavens and wizards What say you?

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Personal Thoughts on Using Facebook & Twitter is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

…ucuz I’m classy like that.

Before I expound on my my wordage skillzesses… perhaps I will start from the beginning. OR… as a word creator such as my self might say… the beginnitives.

*dramatic pause*

My friend Carrie of the highly acclaimed Stop Screaming I’m Driving! put a little call-out on her Facebook for FB addicted moms, or whathaveyou. I was all, “I’m not addicted. I want to teach the world how I am not addicted, but rather an efficient and frequent user of social media!” And whatnot.

*dramatic pause*

Carrie had the privilege of, of… experiencing her first-time radioness (I am on a flippin’ new word roll!!!). The podcast of her smooth talkin’ can be found here. And as a result of her gig, she was asked by the producers if she knew anyone who’d be willing to make themselves vunerable.

Enter Jennyonthespot… a.k.a. “will do anything to get more people to hear her… giving no thought to reputation or consequence” or WDATGMPTHH…GNTTROC,  for short.

Prior to my interview on the the local station KUOW 94.9 FM…

…I had to give my kids the “what for”. Basically, if you interrupt my one shot at infamy, I will lose it… dear offspring. You owe me this, you OWE me!!!

*pops chill pill*

I took all three of my lovelies and told them,

You will all go watch a movie in the basement. *swings pocket watch like a pendulum* No one will get hurt. If you do not move, you will not get hurt. There will be no blood. If there is blood, I will not help you. There will be no pee accidents *gives Lucy the stink eye*. IF there is a pee accident, Joel… Olivia you guys need to clean it up.

Joel says, “You mean like we have to do with the dog?”

Yes. Wipe up the pee like you do with the dog. And if you guys behave PERFECTLY… I mean not one ANYTHING about ANYTHING… I will take you to Dairy Queen.

Joel aksed, “And we can get anything we want?” He asked knowing I usually keep the treat to a kid-sized dipped cone.

ANYyyyyyy. THING.

I trudged up the basement stairs and headed to my room, and waited for my radio debut. Well, if you don’t count the time I called into a radio show. I played my mandolin and sang the chorus to “Let the Sunshine In” by Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm to win tickets to some concert.

I didn’t win the tickets. Aaaanywho…

The interview began with a “fellow” of a learned institution who conducted a study of “Yadda, Yadda and Families are Losing Face Time Because of Le Interwebz”. I’m not making fun. I just like my title better.

After 3 hours 20 minutes or so it was my turn to shine. Rather than bore you with details, you can listen to the podcast here. My several minute clip is towards the last third or quarter of the podcast.

*sigh*

I couldn’t listen to all of it. Surprise of all surprises… I don’t like listening to myself. *eep*

I know I said “moderative” and I know I froze and couldn’t remember Farm Town. I knew it was a Facebook game, but I had never played it and then I started second guessing myself and all I could remember was Lil Blue Cove (which I never play either)… or is it Patch of Green, or… and then I just… Oh dear. My friend USO Girl was the friend who gave the example I used… But as I wrote before — I froze and even failed to pimp her out! Thanks, my friend for adding your input!

I had many friends on Facebook offer their ideas and thoughts, and the interview went so fast and furious and kind of went in a different direction than I thought… I wish I could have shared so much more. Op-ed anyone?

And this is why I blog. I am HUGE fan of delete, delete, delete, the edit feature, the ability to link and also dictionary.com. True story. I like the “forgiveness” of the written word.

However, if I ever have the opportunity to be on the radio again… I’ll do it. I am a bit of a glutton that way. I would also be willing to star in a made-for-TV-movie or sell jewelry over there on the QVC.

*waits for calls to roll in*

*whistling*

By the way, the kids got to go to Dairy Queen. They were AWESOME! While eating her peanut butter Oreo Blizzard (yes, I have raised her right) Lucy bragged and shouted, “MAMA! I didn’t get hurt OR pee my undies!!!”  Yes, a reason to celebrate, indeed.

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I used the "word" MODERATIVE on a radio interview… is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

This is yet another post about the search phrases that introduce the unsuspecting to my little spot here on the interwebz. It seems the most popular traffic-driving search phrase was “Julia Roberts“. Yes, my celebrity twin…

In past search keyphrase posts I list a bevy of phrases. I am going to be more picky here. Maybe. We’ll see. I have no set number, I am fueled by emotion, I have to read through over 800 phrases, and I am not skilled in the art of “deciding”. So. I am going to try to leave out the obvious: mail whale tail fail, marathon, triathlon, Jenny, butt, and the like. Rather, I will focus on… *screech* Did somebody just write “focus”. Heh. THAT’S funny.

The following are the ones that really caught my eye. The ones that evoked either an eye-rub, perhaps a mental “stalling”, showed me I am needed, or… no, I will not share the ones that made me gag… I will do my best to answer where appropriate. They came here looking. I am here to help the needy.

cute little leprechauns dancing – Yeah. Because the I am all about leprechauns here. Let the *blinking* begin.

what chocolate does to the body – floods it with purpose?

should i pop my spots – I know. Borderline gag. But I need to answer this: NO. Do not pop the spots.

big eye equal eyes – Meanie. SO now you’re callin’ me “Three Eyed Jenny”?

the easter bunny training? – It is in this one search the psychosis of the interwebzies is confirmed.

some folks call me a dreamer other folks laughed and called me a fool – *puts hand on shoulder of searcher* Me too, honey… me too. But one day the “dreamer” labelers will have signed copies of our best-selling books and the others will be writhing pathetically in their own world on anonymity. Ohh… smell that? A little angst, ehh?

im going to ask you a series of questions and i want them answered on the spot right now - No. Whatcha gonna do about it. *thumbs nose while bouncing back and forth on tippy-toes*

you are so funny you make me laugh – I get that all the time. *strokes hair*

jenny is a turtle - That cuts deep.

letter about my person and skills – Um. “Skills” is spelled with a “z”: skillzzzz.

do princesses play soccer? – Sexist. Of course they do. But I encourage them to tone down the tulle. A tripping hazard…

i m 35 and have night sweats – Ditto. Except I’m 36, but I did at 35 and I do at 36. Ooops. Will everyone on the world wide web of the world be able to read this?

fondant swimmer - Ahem. Fondant is not a swimmable substance. Duh.

what does fa real mean - Are you fa real? Fa. Realz. You don’t know what “fa real” means? FA REAL? Crazay.

inductive reasoner - OK, friends. Are you laughing as hard as I am? The fact that the term “reason” had ANY way to link to here is simply baffling. I. Am. Stunned.

devil and jenny – I bet J-Bling searched this. Stinker.

does chocolate milk make you tired - There are no stupid question.. Wait. Yes there are. Chocolate milk is the foundation of life and good energy. See??? The crazies find me.

jenny jenny your the girl for me you dont know me but you make me soo happy - Oh, but I do know… Not only do I make you happy, but I am wicked-smart.

kitsap mom gives crack to kids – They’re onto me.

And my 2 MOST FAVORITE search phrases:

neener neener to you poo poo butt

&

you pinch me little leprechaun i ll kick you in the face

*blinking*

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Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

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How People Find Me. Poor People. is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

Proceed with caution. I have the ladies at Where’s My Damn Answer to thank for the direction of this post. 

Why? Because they asked me to guest-post over there and because I am an attention whore a giver, I said, “Fo Shizzle!” When Jenny sees an opportunity to get more attention need…

No. That’s not me in that box. I’m am human, not animal. OK, but… that’s another post.

In my post at WMDA I answer several VIQs (very important questions). The questions I answer there came from friends on Facebook and Twitter. Basically… I took My Public to Their Public. This is what I do. So please head on over to Where’s My Damn Answer… lavish them with your loviness… your kindly commentarianism… 

*waiting for you to return*

I would like to add a few answers to some questions that have been plaguing me. Some of my searchers have come to Jennyonthespot… needing help — hoping for answers. I feel a social responsibility to make my mind available and help those in need. Google may have given them my link, but fate made them “click”…

*What happens to those who make fun of or laugh at others? They become bloggers, and sometimes they become the butt of their own jokes posts.  

*When I smile one eye is bigger than the other what can be done? I have a couple of ideas: don’t make friends with people who own cameras — OR — do this:

I hear the sideways “V” makes one’s eye(s) appear wider. If you have 2 small eyes – break out the “Double V”. However, if you are like me… one “V” should do the trick. Also, people will just be looking at your “crazy”, not your wonk-eye.

*Do manatees hurt you? I can only answer this with another question: “The heck? Why are you hanging out with manatees???” 

*Do magnetic nose studs hurt? Yes! Potentially. Well, specifically… when you are in 12th grade… and you go to a Christian school… and your try to freak out your principal… and you put in a magnetic nose ring… and in the middle of Spanish class (the one your principal teaches)… you approach him… and ask a “leading question”… and when he notices the “stud”… you laugh so hard… the magnet inside your nose… gets STUCK UP YOUR NOSE… and you have to run to the bathroom… and you blow your nose… with a such force… to dislodge the foreign magnetic object… it rivals the intensity of a F5 tornado tearing through a trailer park… *blinking* — Or so I’ve heard.

*Kitsap jenny is one fine mother. This actually wasn’t a question. I just wanted everybody to see this… However, if this WAS a question, the answer would be a resounding: DUH!

*I want to loose the last ten pounds how much running do i need to do? Keep running. I haven’t lost my last ten, and I am still running. So, I guess the answer is to keep running. It might be beneficial to not eat rows of cake or sleeves of cookies as a post-run recovery meal too. Maybe.

*How to hack a chuckie cheese ticket counter. Drats. I thought you asked, “How to hack Chuck E. Cheese…” I hate that place.

*What do nudists buy? Not clothes.

*Fine muthas in kitsap county. Again. Not a question, but really wanted you to see this.

Alright. I have put you through enough. If you haven’t visited Where’s My Damn Answer… head on over. For the good of the people… for the betterment of things nonspecific yet important enough to elude to nonspecifically.

**********

Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

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You Have Questions. I Have Answers. is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...