OK.

Maybe that title is a TAD bit DRAMATIC.

But. Here I am… house-bound… ish. Due to snow.

I am left wondering… what to write… what to write…

Do I write about the snow?

See? SNOW.

See? KID IN SNOW.

I could go on forever about the snow.

But I won’t today.

That’s so… so… PREDICTABLE.

You know what isn’t? A POST ABOUT OATMEAL.

= cue bom chicka wow-wow music =

That’s right. I cooked oatmeal while hunkered down for the big snowstorm.

And not just any oatmeal… Oatmeal with apple and cinnamon. No added sugar.

If ever oatmeal was sexy…

Oh. And I don’t cook my oatmeal with water. I use half milk and water.

Hey. You’re drooling…

And if you’ve ever boiled milk, you know…

You KNOW one must never walk away. For when you do… IT BOILS OVER AND MAKES A HUGE MESS ON YOUR STOVE.

AL-STINKIN-WAYS.

100% of the time.

HUNNED PERCENT.

Oh I drive myself crazy.

I am actually a pretty capable cook. I am only afraid of yeast and merengue.

*An aside: I don’t care for the word yeast.

And when it comes to boiling milk? I am cursed.

Lucky for me, my husband thinks it’s adorable… how I boil it over 100% of the time.

Which means… I am the most adorable thing ever.

EVER.

I won’t even start writing about my issues with setting off the fire alarm.

My kids are well trained. They may not know how to put their shoes away, but they are an impressive team when it comes to getting the smoke out of the house to make the fire alarm stop alarming.

Aaaaanywho…

I must away. I need to go scrub my stove.

AGAIN.

********

Never miss a thing! Get JOTS latest adventures via email or in your blog reader.

Trapped is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

I cannot take credit for this little gem.

My friend Andrea is the mastermind. I went to one of her parties one time and I won a galvanized poultry feeder and mason jar filled with Jelly Bellies!

A POULTRY FEEDER?

You ask…

YOU *WON* A POULTRY FEEDER, JENNY?

Did I stutter?…

A POULTRY FEEDER FILLED WITH JELLY BELLIES?!

Mmm hm….

EW!

Now just hold on a sec. #1 – it was not a USED feeder. And #2… Words do not convey the level of pure charm this gem is. Allow me to demonstrate.

But instead of Jelly Bellies, I am going to use gumballs!

Step One: Get a galvanized poultry feeder and a mason jar.

Step Two: Secure gumballs enough to fill said mason jar and feeder.

Step Three: Fill the feeder to just below the opening (see pic) with gumballs (or Jelly Bellies or candy corn, or…). And fill the mason jar pretty full. But not all the way full.

Step Four: As best you can without spilling (but you probably will) (unless you’re made of magic) (which is entirely possible) (I’m not here to judge what you are made of) put the mason jar onto the feeder and twist.

TADAH!!!

For Halloween we filled it with candy corn!

My friends, this is a GREAT way to dispense goodies AND decorate! And also makes a GREAT gift!

********

Never miss a thing! Get JOTS latest adventures via email or in your blog reader.

DIY: Galvanized Poultry Feeder Becomes Candy Dispenser – BOOM! is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

We are all up in the Fall up in here!

I must confess… I have a certain affection for pumpkins.

All round and orange and…

Oh dear mercy I am so sorry you had to see that. What I was TRYING to say was that pumpkins are so cute…

Especially when adorned with poms and pipe cleaners…

And with pumpkins, it matters not if they have a nose. Pumpkins can’t smell anynohows.

Have you ever seen a pumpkin kitty?

Now you have!

Have you met my Mr. Spideykin?

NOW YOU HAVE!

Mr. Spideykin even accessorizes. See?

Pumpkins are pack animals. That is why you find them in patches and not solitary confinement and whathaveyou. Hitherhencetofore I feel it is important to keep them together. So they can hang out on the porch and comisserate about how cold it is getting these days…

Hey! Can you guess which pumpkin is the fake one?

And here is a picture of how one can make a dead plant work for you. This is why I love Fall so very much…

Just plop a big, bad lantern on your dead stuff and WHAM!

I have also made cobwebs work for me. I find the natural cobwebs are the nicest-looking. I work hard all year on those.

But no picture. Cobwebs are SCARY. I don’t want to scare anybody on the spot.

Finally… a picture of my dining/kitchen area. Please don’t look too close or you’ll see the nail polish and nail polish remover stains on my table. And marker markings…

Makes me crazy.

I could have made sure I always had a table cloth on my table, but… here’s a secret about me… living with a table cloth on my table makes me anxious.

It’s true.

Tablecloths get crooked. And the patterny ones are so busy… which makes me anxious. And the solid color ones make me bored… which in turn makes me anxious.

The end result of my “issues” around tableclothing? My table is all jacked up. Forevs.

Were Dr. Phil talking to me about this right now… he’d be all, “How’s that workin’ for ya?”

I know Dr. Phil… I know…

I have an idea! Just look at the wheat stalks, in my windows, friends. Adorbs, no?

But take a good-long look. The other day Lucy was asking if we could make them into bread.

Oh have mercy.

********

Get Jenny On the Spot’s newest posts in email or in your blog reader. Keep up on JOtS giveaways – get new giveaway updates via email by clicking here!

Follow: Twitter, Become a Facebook Fan keep-up via Networked Blogs!

Fall, Halloween, Pumpkins… that kinda stuff is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

I took a picture of my laundry room.

Is this what life has come to??? PICTURES OF MY LAUNDRY ROOM?!!!

But seriously – THERE’S HARDLY A LICK-O-LAUNDRY IN THERE!

So yes. This is what life has come to.

If there was a world record category for Cleanest My Laundry Room Has Ever Been… t’would be now.

I want to remember this moment…

And yes, my laundry room is an enviable size. *ahem* Which is not so enviable when  our laundry fills it’s enviable size. *cough*

Hitherhencetofore… may we have a moment of silence to honor this most wonderful moment.

*

*

*

*

Of course, I can’t do it all… So here’s a picture of my dashboard.

I will not show you a picture of any other inner-most parts of my van.

That’s personal.

And gross.

It would ruin us.

I respect our relationship too much.

Boundaries. They’re not just for the dating relationship…

********

Get Jenny On the Spot’s newest posts in email or in your blog reader. Keep up on JOtS giveaways – get new giveaway updates via email by clicking here!

Follow: Twitter, Become a Facebook Fan keep-up via Networked Blogs!

It’s one or the other: Laundry vs. Dusting is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

Why can’t I let feeding maggots lie?

I wasn’t going to share this.

I wasn’t going to share.

But the story that I want to hide, won’t let me hide it there.

“…hide it THERE.”

I. Don’t. Know.

It rhymed. I was going for Dr. Seuss-y, and ended up Edvard Munch-y… and he was neither a writer nor a poet, but a painter… So.

*scratching head*

Anynohows. I am a glutton for punishment blogger, not a poet.

OBVIOUSLY.

So. Maggots.

On a day not long gone (say a day six moons past)… I entered my laundry room. To clean it.

I. Know.

I went to grab my daughter’s back pack but was stopped in my tracks. My face wore a look that probably resembled  this:

For what I saw… made me scream. “PAULLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!“

My husband came galloping in on his steed to save me from the savage many small flies that covered my daughter’s backpack!!!!!

*gag*

He took the bag and made haste with it to the outside.

I followed to find him pulling out a lunch box-bag thing that looked like it had been vomited on. I could not look closely… for my sensitive gag reflex kicked in full gear. I turned away before the reflex could grow into something more heinous.

My husband comforted, “Oh come on!”

I was a good 350 light years away and I could smell the stank from that lunch bag.

*gag*

*gag*

*gag*

And THAT my friends it a small glimpse into my day to day. Maggots. Puppies. Freestyle gagging. No hot water for 2 days.

And whatnot.

See? I give you reasons to love your life. I am here to serve. *bows*

*rubs head*

I just hit my head on my desk as I came up from my bow.

See? Never ends.

**********

Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

Get Jenny On The Spot by RSS

Get Jenny On the Spot by Email

You can also follow me on Twitter!

The Confessional – Maggots is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

I decided to clean out my pantry recently. It was like a great big junk drawer of canned, boxed and bottled food. Apparently I have been stocking up on the necessities. I am such a “nester”…

Apparently, every family of 5 needs THREE 40 ounce bottles of BBQ sauce. Yeah, because my kids use BBQ sauce instead of milk in their cereal.

Chocolate syrup. Keeps the marriage alive. Just kidding. You can NEVER have enough of the syrup that is chocolate…A.K.A. “The Nectar of All Things Good and True”. I mean, really… What if a school bus full of children broke down in front of my house and I had an insufficient amount of chocolate syrup for making chocolate milk? How embarrassing. 

I guess I could always offer them…

What is this all about? One might think I operate a soup kitchen… or a healing clinic called, “Bring Me Your Sick, Your Sore Throats”. Nope. I just harvested a bounty of canned chicken broth… for all the soup I make in the summer. Ahhh… nothing like sipping on steaming hot bowl of soup In. The. Summer.

Tomatoes anyone? My kids HATE tomatoes, but – by golly – I am gonna keep these diced, sauced, crushed, whole, canned, red orbs in my pantry. I wait for the moment enough of their young taste-buds die off and the children realize tomatoes won’t gag them to death.

Oooh – a vinegar bar! I look at this line up and I am reminded of Bubba Gump…

…white wine vinegar, apple cider vinegar, Balsamic vinegar, red wine vinegar, rice vinegar, vinegar-vinegar…

***Note: One item that was NOT in my pantry…. Oreos. Because I ate them. All. 

********************

Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…

Click here and Feed Me!

A post in which I make fun of my pantry-keeping skills. is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

Goody! A list of Downey Downersons:

My Amish Friendship Bread is baking for another 35 minutes… The kids wanted to help make it. I forgot until after they were asleep (thank you Lord they fell asleep). It is day 10, and I had to make it. I am so bummed the kids didn’t get to “help”. This makes me feel like I have ripped childhood joy from their sticky, filthy palms. However, I am keeping one of the “starters” and we’ll try this again in 10 days…

I have a butt-load of emails and phone calls I have not been able to return in a timely manner.

With the layer of dust on my furniture, one might presume Mt. St. Helens blew her top again.

What happens to my hand towels in my guest bathroom? We. Have. Not. Had. Guests. Recently.

I just ate a bowl and a second bowl of Oreo ice cream with a couple of scoops of Jif – cuz that’s the smart thing for a girl to do when she’s packed on a few in the last couple of weeks and has to run in a half-marathon in, like, 10 days. Just keepin’ it real pzeeple.

I am not usually embarrassed at the condition of my home. But I was today. Someone came by who has never been here before. I gave a quick tour. There was not one corner that didn’t have crap piled in/on/upon/around/within it. Not. One. Now, I don’t need a clean house, but there are limits.

I stink. I worked out this afternoon and need to wash off the stank of fitness (all undone due to that double bowl of Stupid-n-Jif I ate a little while ago).

My desk. Oh my heck. You don’t want to know.

Yeah. Blog365. That too. It’s usually not a problem for me, but there are days. This is one of them. I have posted everyday this year, and do I blow it because of stink and dust and paperwork and emails and chaos? I know, it’s not a competition… except I am all about frivolous pressure and adding stress and intensity to my life… because, ya know – my life needs to be “spruced up”.

Watching the finale of Lost now – at 11:20 p.m. (recorded)… I’m feeling a little better now.

Amish Friendship Bread, among other things is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

Due to technical difficulties, the picture I took of my fridge today cannot be posted in time to meet the “Friday” goal. Rest assured, the usual suspects are there – about 2 gallons of milk and that bottle of champagne is still chillin’. However, there are also 2 gallons of orange juice – a portion of which I hope to use in mimosas some day this weekend. I know, I know… yeah, right. There’s tri-tip from Costco, ready to be sorted into managable protions, and leftover yakisoba. Num. I also have a big container-ful of little tomatoes that pack a punch. Ooh, those babies are GOOD…

Good evening dear friends and faithful lurkers. May you rest well this Friday night… I am off to chase some zzzz’s, for I have an 8 mile run to tackle bright and early on the morrow.

04.25.08 – Fridge Friday is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

One would think that when a woman gives birth to a baby boy, not only should she come home with large gauze undies, witch hazel spray, a bundle of joy, a heart full of content, discharge papers, the Apgar score, after birth pains, and an unrealistically romantic view of mothering… she should also go home with a seamless toilet.

No, not for her. For. Her. Soon. To. Be. Potty. Trained. Little. Boy. The time between the newborn stage and being able to wee wee in the potty goes fast. The hospital doesn’t send papers about that.

Little Boys have been given special parts that make it negotiable whether the pee lands IN or ON or AROUND the toilet. Target practice at it’s finest. What amazes me is is this – why do toilets have so many d*** crevices? Where’s my Wonder Twin?

Wonder Twin Powers ACTIVATE!

SHAPE OF… teeniest, yet most absorbent, most antibacterial q-tip EVER!  

FORM OF…. most bendable person EVER! 

*picture credit here*

OR, a seamless toilet. If they can make seamless panties… c’mon!

Seamless Toilets is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

Oh, Mom, you are much too sweet to the kids… You shouldn’t have. No. Really. You shouldn’t have…

Oh, wow… WINDOW CHALK… is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...