Jenny On the Spot: Caffeinated mom, lover of dancing, glitter and glitter.

I believe men really get a raw deal in these days of such progressiveness.

And maybe I shouldn’t use this video in a courtroom to defend my forthcoming argument on why I think kids need they daddies. But, c’mon. That was AWESOME.

I read/see/observe slam after slam after slam on how poorly men behave, dress, don’t pick things up, can’t find things in the fridge, scratch their bellies, fart, breathe wrong, and/or don’t put their dirty clothes in the laundry basket. To name a few.
Continue reading ‘Every Kids Needs Daddy – Happy Father’s Day, Dads!’

My boy. He is full of amazing. I adore him with more that my heart can hold. I don’t feel like I deserve to be his mom, but I am so proud to be the woman who gets to be his mom. I am blessed.

When he was a toddler and preschooler, we had quite a time. Looking back, I see his passionate responses were not so much a result of him being destructive or obstinate… I now see his behavior was a result of his compassionate heart. A person with a heart of compassion feels the good, the bad, fear, pain and joy with such depth. Now, take those emotions and funnel them through the mind of preschooler… I doubt I need to tell the tales for one to imagine.
Continue reading ‘My Incredible Boy’

That latest “rage” over there on the Facebook is this meme where one asks one’s child(ren) a list of questions about oneself. The directions say to write their EXACT answers. Can I just ask, “Why do I put myself in these situations?” SOme kids talk about all the fabulous cookie-making their moms do with them, or the reading, or snuggling. Not my kids. Nope. They tell on me. I suppose it’s my fault. Kids are pretty honest.

Aaaanywho… like the FB friend I am… I did complete the meme. I asked my spawn children 19 very important questions about me. Their answers are listed in order of their age: Joel (9); Olivia (6) & Lucy (4). And I list them here, because — ultimately, their answers made me laugh. I love how well they know me… I love hearing what their opinions are… And I love seeing how each sees me a little differently, depending on their need.

Lucy, Joel, Olivia

1. What is something I always say to you?

J: Get ready for school.

O: That’s mean or nice??? Um… The only thing I can think of is “No.”

L: No peeing in your undies

Continue reading ‘Make Me Laugh Monday – My Children Answer’

Once a week I post an article in the  ”Mom Topics: Just for Moms” section at Type-A Mom. I should post there more often, but I haven’t been able to pull that together just yet… I try to write more meaningful stuff stuff there (stop laughing), but something happened this week that pointed my inner-writer in a different direction it’s usual direction. 

My 3 year-old, Lucy… cut her own hair. Apparently there was play-dough stuck in her hair and she decided to be her own little problem solver. Yay! I am raising a problem solver! *falls on the couch*

Continue reading ‘10 Things I Think Moms Should Know’

My great-grandmother passed away over 10 years ago. I adored my Grandma Sue. I still do, and I feel an ache in my heart because I miss her. I wrote a short post about her back in November. 

My great-grandma… she rarely shared about her childhood. I tried to help her fill out a “grandma” book once, but she was so uncomfortable sharing her past. When she died, she left some clues behind. Clues that lead my imagination to wander about the life she led. She divorced back in the 30’s (I think), when divorce was most certainly not a “norm”. She was a very independent and stubborn woman who worked hard and raised a son all by herself at a time when I am sure it was a great struggle.  She was a strong, strong woman.

Continue reading ‘You missed out on a delicious chocolate malt Sunday p.m.’

I mentioned yesterday that I am not a huge fan of Valentine’s Day. I don’t even know if “Valentine’s” should have an apostrophe. Sheesh. If it wasn’t for the glitter I think I’d shoot Cupid with his/her (yeah, another reason I don’t “get” it) own arrow. But I am actually trying to spread some love in this post, and am failing miserably. It must be the blackness of my anti-Valentine heart oozing through the tips of my fingers. 

See. Can’t stop. I need to regroup. While I do, here is a love song for all my bloggy, twittery Valentines out there *swoon*

But I am not done with my gift to you, my bloggy pals! Have ya’ll heard of “linky love”. I know you have. Not only do bloggers do it for the comments, we also do it for the links/trackbacks, yes? C’mon… let’s be honest here. Well, I found a FUN site yesterday that will let me put some effort into my love for you. If you will leave a comment (yes a bit self-serving, but it really is the most efficient) with your twitter id and/or your link… I will send some linky love courtesy of http://linklove.hubspot.com. If you do not have a twitter id – no problem! Just make sure your link is included, and I will make it so. It is my Valentine gift to you. MWAH!!! MWAH!!! MWAH!!!

Continue reading ‘Happy Valentine’s Day. Really.’

I love my sister. She is bolder and sassier and not older… and taller, but I’m not bitter. I like being the shorter, older sister. Every girl’s dream… Incidentally, she and my alter ego get along famously… like melted butter on warm banana bread. What? I have no idea…

My sister and I used to fight like nobody’s business back in the day. Now we just make fun of each other laugh.  We are full of compliments and kind words… and a metric a** load  dash of sarcasm. Gone are the days of our youth, when we would clean the kitchen after dinner… and end up sopping messes on the floor because we would fight over who could and would squirt each other the most torrentially with that sink-squirter-thingy. Gone are the days of putting tape down the middle of our bedroom, when my bent toward messy spaces drove her to the brink of insanity. Maybe that’s why she’s the way she is…. I digress…

Here is a picture of my beautiful sister… 

No…. today, we have the pure bond of sisterly love… 

In fact, would you like to read a snippet of our love… our mutual admiration? I will now let you have a peek at the inner-sanctum of our relationship. It is a special place, and you are special to be allowed in… the love, the pure love between sisters as we discuss weight… our mutual encouragement of one another as we seek to accept our bodies just the way they are:

Me: Its not my fault if you have martini belly!
Her: Listen here “Muffin Top”…

You’re swooning, aren’t you?

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The things that drive me the most crazy about my son, are also the things that endear my heart to him everyday. He is intense and passionate, which sound good, unless things don’t work out the way he’d hoped. He is a planner. He is an “attention to detail” kind-of guy. He has been known to lay out his school clothes the night before, on his own. The other night he chose to do his homework during a family movie time. We had had a crazy number of days, and I was gonna tell his teacher that we just needed to deflate and he would finish his homework the next night. Joel couldn’t handle it. After a few minutes, he grabbed his bag and worked on his homework. For him, there is an order, and he functions best when that order stays intact.

2 nights ago I told him to leave his sign-off sheet on the counter for me to sign later (my hands were covered in cookie dough). Later that evening I found his school bag open, his folder open on top — the sign-off sheet and a pen ready, and this note:

I love my boy.

*****

In other news, apparently I rock! Olivia told me so…

Of course, my son was disgusted. He said, “EEEEEWWWWW! Number 1 is PEE!!!”

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It’s taken me 3 kids and 9 years to figure this one out:

When you need your preschooler to put on his/her shoes, dont ask: “Do you want to put on your shoes?” I am here to testify… JOHNNY WILL NOT WANT TO PUT ON HIS SHOES. Remember, these little people are aspiring nudists. It is up to us to teach them the positive benefits of clothing. It takes effort, mommies and daddies… Derailing the inner nudist is hard work.

However, this piece of wisdom does not only apply to shoes and clothing, but to EVERYTHING: bedtime, food choices, clean-up time…

Even the cutest preschooler with a pretty pink bow on top will politely say, “NO”, and suddenly your need for her to wear shoes becomes negotiable. I implore:

Never open the door to the idea of “negotiable!

If you do, it is possible you will die… if not you, then your principles. Because these little people do not negotiate. They terroroize. The sweet little, “No, fank you.” Becomes, “NOOOOOOOOOO I don’t want to wear shoes!!!!!!!!!! No shoes, noshoesnoshoesnoshoesnosoes!!!!!!!!!!!!” Heads spin… you consider calling a priest, and you’re an atheist! See what happens to your principles… your very belief system?!

I have walked through the fire.  I have lived through it to tell you this: Ante up, lay it on the table…

Kiddo. You’re gonna wear shoes when you walk on the hot coals at our family initiation reunion today. Do you want Mommy/Daddy to do put on your shoes, or do you want to do it?”

*****

A word on socks. Socks are not necessary. You may not believe that if you are still in the “idealist” phase of parenting. Say it with me,

Socks are not necessary. Socks are are not necessary. Socks are not necessary…

Cut yourself some slack, let something go… The McDonald’s play place rules says socks are required, but they’re lying. If you get through parenting without your child going sockless in a McDonald’s playplace… then you are not real. You are a hologram. Or maybe the Antichrist.

I mean, now that I am a legitimate vlogger… not only am I a Star… I am a Producer. A Director. A Filmmaker. I am also in charge of Craft Services. When I step back and look at all I do… and all I am… I just amaze me. No wonder I’m tired. Also…

• I break dance.
• I cook.
• I craft.
• I am a soccer mom.
• I age.
• I read!!!
• I am also an up & coming photographer…

It’s O.K. Go ahead. Stand back in your amazement. I am also patient.

And as if that isn’t enough… I am also HAWT!!! hot on the campaign trail.

Obama? McCain? They had it easy compared to me… for in the midst of all my importance I even managed to hug all 3 of my children today. All. 3!!!

I hugged them without uttering one word about my community organizing for them (they have no idea the sacrifices I make), nor a word about how much of a Maverick I am on their behalf. I just hugged them. Plus, they can’t even vote for me. Oh my gosh… I AM SO GENUINE!!! *wipes tear, being careful not to disturb the mascara*

I think I need a nap. 

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