Jenny On the Spot: Caffeinated mom, lover of dancing, glitter and glitter.

I have no idea what he is talking about.

My husband, that is.

There I was, working on a video of my self-portraits from 2009. And suddenly I was transported to the part of the movie in Julie and Julia where Julie and her own husband butted heads about her… her… clearly her very important work. But my husband didn’t leave me. Prolly because all five of us were in the car and he was driving. So… lesson: Men if ya gonna pick a fight, wait until you’re not driving. Makes it hard to stomp off in a huff and grab your coat off a chair when you’re going 85 in a 75.

Did you see the movie? It’s the part where Julie’s husband tells her she thinks she’s the center of the universe, LIKE IT WAS A BAD THING.

*rolls eyes*

I yelled at the T.V. screen to Julie. I yelled, “I know your pain, honey! It is SO HARD!”

*that’s what she said* I digress…

I wept for her. For my beloved Julie. For WE. All bloggers, really. I’m empathetic!

SO.

My husband asked, “What are you doing?”

I was all, “DUH! Working on my future world famous video! ME. My 2009 self-portraits.”

His dry reply, “Uh…. NARCISSISTIC?!!!”

Me, “Well. MAYBE. But… My blog IS titled JENNYonthespot. Not EverybodyBUTjennyonthespot.”

Sheesh.

***By the way, I am open. Just send me your photos! I’d LOVE to make a 2010 video. Not narcissistic at all — FANS AND ADMIRERS OF JENNYONTHESPOT — email me!***

You probably thought I’d have the video embedded here, huh?

But you CAN get my blog for your Kindle. Who knew?! You know “they” make it pretter darn easy to be narcissistic. I mean, if I were…

No. Sadly. You are sad, right? Cuz I’m a little bummed myself… It s not finished. Things like this take time. Like aged cheese.

I love cheese.

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I re-wrote the lyrics to the classic Santa Baby as performed by Eartha Kitt.

And then, one evening, I finally found my “quiet place”… a busy Walmart parking lot in a remote part of Utah.

Vernal.

Vernal, Utah.

And IN THAT PARKING LOT — I recorded me singing my new rendition of Santa Baby. Desperate times, people.

This is my letter to Santa. Santa Baby. There are a lot of 7 year-old cool cats out there… sending him letters or visiting him at the mall. Soon they’ll be leaving him cookies! I have competition, and I want to stand out. I want him to know how verrrrry good I’ve been, that I’ll be leaving him cookies too, and Santa… I want you to know how verrry handsome YOU are in that Big. Red. Coat. *RAWR*

I can’t believe I just posted this. I have official lost it. Heh. That was fun… and please note: I never claimed to be like Eartha Kitt, just crazy. Simple and crazy. And glittery. Oh, and maybe sometime awesome, but that’s cuzza the glitter.

Merry Christmas. All silliness aside… Merry Christmas. Times are tight, and sadness abounds.  I believe The Greatest Gift has already been given. May your day be merry and bright… Love, be kind and laugh with others. I hope I’ve been able to help you with that last one :)
JOTS Code

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The Husband… his eyes burning with condemnation… as he stared at me through the innocent stair rails… He said, and I DO believe he seethed these words in ALL CAPS:

AND YOU KNOW THIS ALLLLLLLL HAPPENS BECAUSE YOU BLOG.

Whu? Who? Me???

Here’s what happened. It was a long weekend. A full weekend. A long a full weekend. To the tune of 3 children in 5 plays (the same one, but 5 shows), one gymnastics show, 4 or 5 meals out, one Jingle Bell Run

I made the local news for that… but they edited out my best line. You know the one…

Wait for it…

MADE OUT OF AWESOME.

Edited. Out. That was NOT made out of awesome.

I digress…

My friend Patti took pictures… Here’s me and something about spirits before the run:

Here’s a picture of me after the run… all bleary eyed, and missing one cute red ribbon from my hair…

Andalsosomuch, though the color of my skin might suggest otherwise… I do not have a case of the jaundiced. That was just bad lighting. I’m serious.

Oh yeah… with narry a 15 minutes to spare at any point on Sunday… we all made it home around 9 p.m. with my sis, bro, and mama -in-law and nephew… so we could celebrate our Christmas together. We are just way to busy for each other to make it happen ON Christmas, ya know? Aaaanywho…

9 p.m. on Sunday night…

Once the paninis were grilled and coffee drank and banana cream pie consumed… the kids opened presents and then ate their caramel apples…

And in the blink of an eye (a couple-a hours) … the in-laws drove away so as not to miss the next ferry and the children headed up to brush their teeth and the dog peed on my bedroom floor and my husband cleaned it up and I put a towel on the wet spot and I headed downstairs to curse our fool dog out of the children’s ear-range and then the 4 year old peed on the towel that covered the cleaned-up dog pee mess.

ON. THE. TOWEL.

True story.

It was at that point my husband looked at me between my fair stair railings and said,

AND YOU KNOW THIS ALLLLLLLL HAPPENS BECAUSE YOOOOOU BLOG.

Crack smoker.

The nerve. And I totally know what he means.

Mah bloggahs… I KNOW y’alls know what he means.

And then this morning I was all “You wanna know what ELSE happens because I blog? Wanna know, huh, huh??? I just won AWESOME ITSELF for doing a meme *neenerneener crack smoker*. My post Wishy, Wishy won the random draw at the Todays Mama’s Holiday Wishlist Giveaway. All kidding aside… this news made me cry great-big happy tears. That bike. Be still. My. Heart.

And also BECAUSE I BLOG…. YOU, my friends have a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card! My kids tried out the new Tom’s of Maine Silly Strawberry toothpaste…. we even made a video! But you’ll need to head over there to enter for your chance! Good luck!

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A tweet on Twitter lead me to browse Facebook… and I noticed a number of my friends’ statusii,

If you don’t know, as of today, Facebook will automatically index all your info on Google, which allows everyone to view it. To change this option, go to Settings –> Privacy Settings –> Search –> then UN-CLICK the box that says ‘Allow indexing’. Facebook kept this one quiet. Copy and paste onto your status for all your friends.

My first thought was, “Oh dear!” But my second thought was, “Wait. I have privacy settings in place. Facebook can’t allow indexing on info I have made private. Right?”

So I did one of those long-string searches — “Can Facebook allow yadda, yadda, yada… and whatnot, blah, blah, blah….”

The interwebs just stood there. Blinking.

Just as I thought.

I logged in and out of my account. Checked the box. Unchecked the box and whathaveyou. Testing my theory. I am aware Google is indexing me, BUT she is only getting as much information as I permit. This is what my Facebook profile looks like to the searching masses with the settings I have decided are acceptable to me:

I allow my groups to be seen, cuz I that is what I have decided I think is just fine… I also allow my friends to be seen. I feel it helps people know if I am A Jenny or THE Jenny. Guilty by association and whatnot. Besides, I want to be found. I’m on Facebook. I want to have friends.  I also want to complain about pestering paparazzi someday. *tosses locks* Sue me.

And of course we ALLLLLL know I am THE Jenny, right?

I digress.

Then I went and followed the directions of the several friend’sesses statussesii re: the Google indexing. Say THAT 5 times fast. I unchecked the indexing box. This is what happened when I searched myself:

What? No Jenny? That will make so many people sad. HOWEVER! If this is what you want, GREAT! It’s your choice to make, but this has been possible for years. But for some reason, it’s all the rage… tonight.

And then I noticed a little note from Facebook at the top of my settings >> privacy settings page:

AHA! I thought so! I recall way back “in the day” having the option to make my profile not available for public search inquiries. I decided I wanted to be out there… just a little. I kinda like the fact that people can find me… but are left wanting.

*makes tiger claws*

I will assume most of you know this. About Facebook and indexing, not my “makes tiger claws” thing… But in case there are a few who missed it somehow… I am here to comfort you:

>>>If you have been choosing the your privacy settings wisely, you should be found or not found according to what you have already established. No Facebook/Google indexing magic has happened overnight. I do, however, encourage you to double-check you security settings. Especially your pictures. Did you know each album has it’s own privacy setting? It’s true.

Speaking of fame, have you visited my Facebook fan page? Click HEEEEEEEERE. And join. If you’re smart. *wink*

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So. My friend Jyl… you know — JYL. Like, Mom It Forward Jyl… she tagged me. We were all runnin’ around my yard. She was laughing, I was laughing. We were having the time of our lives! But then I tripped on one of our kids the kiddie pool a blackberry bramble and wouldn’tyouknow she caught me and I was hencetoforth “tagged”. She got spray paint ALL OVER my face.

I was crying laughing so hard she couldn’t hear me beg for mercy, “I am not a freeway underpass! I am not a freeway underpass!” But she just kept tagging me… laughing, laughing, laughing…

Jyl is such a happy person.

It all happened.

Really.

OR she tagged me for a meme. You choose your own truth.

Win a Sleighful of Gifts!

Continue reading ‘Wishy Wishy!’

Clearly, this is for Me and J-Bling. Clearly.

Thos sign-mkaer-people are friggin’ geniusses. Geniuiii. Smarty Smartersons.

*Hey! Don’t miss out – I am giving away an fully intact package of Candy Cane Oreos, but you have to leave a comment on this post :)

*New at My First Fail — Does This Watermelon Make My Butt Look Big?

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1. I would like to start this post with a resounding WAH! *pout* The Type-A Mom Conference is this weekend and I’ll give you one guess as to at least one girl that won’t be there…. Ya give? It’s me. Iwillnnotbeattheconferencewaaaaah! I have never been a huge fan of missing out. *stomps off in a huff*
2. I actually feel kind of sorry for Asheville, North Carolina. Just think of all the glitter it will be missing out on… {sigh} But it’s not your fault, North Carolina in the Fall… I blame The Economy. Big bully.
3. I was going to put up a picture of my Pyrex pan that pretty much exploded in my oven, but the pork tenderloin had an inappropriate shape. I decided I wouldn’t make you have to discern whether the meat in that pan was in fact a tenderloin of pork. I make these hard choices because I want to protect your innocence. But if you want me to email you the pic, tell me in your comment. I’ll TOTALLY email you the pic.
4. I wrote a little something about the importance of sleep on Type-A Mom. Ya know, cuz I practice what I preach and whathaveyou.
5. A new school year has begun, and I went ahead and gushed about my kids over at Mom on the Spot. You should click over… If only to crank up my numbers over there, because in the last wholetimeIhavebeenwrtingthere few weeks I have only contributed to .5% of their traffic. That is not famous enough for me.
6. You know I am kidding about the “famous” part of #5, right?
7. I’m kidding about #6 too.
8. I am feeling mildy manic.
9. And also digressive.
10. And don’t expect you click on everything I am linking to. I WANT you to, but I know my lowly place on this here interwebz…
11. This is what my friend and I call Muffin Top Burn Fail. BTW, this is not Me.
12. I could totally post an embarrassing picture of myself right now. ButIwon’t. *sticks out tongue*
13. I updated my “About” page. The old page was making me *yawn*.
14. By the way… YouTube has a lot of creepy viewers… who make creepy comments *delete* Mostly about my braces and my Converse *rocks in a corner*
15. My kids don’t take me seriously when I threaten to rip off their arms and beat them with their own limbs. Am I THAT bad a liar? They laugh at me. Punks.
16. I’m kidding about the “punks” thing above
17. I’m kidding about #16…
18. Twitter has changed the way I do business my friend and I text. #like #weliketotally #hashtag #everything #andifyouarenotonthetwitter #thiswillnot #makeonelickofsensetoyou #truethat
19. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to discriminate agains the unTwittered. #myamends
20. It is 5:53 p.m. and I still don’t know how to answer the question, “What’s for dinner?”
21. If only I could make a blog for dinner…
22. Finally… Office Max and Adopt-A-Classroom have come together to bring you the A Day Made Better Campaign. I have joined 29 other Max Moms to help spread the word! In my original post, in order to nominate a teacher, one had to either create a blog post or create a Whrrl story… but NOW… alls you need to do is write a comment – click here. But, please see the fine print for other detail… Another way to make a difference is to donate directly to A Day Made Better:

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You must.

If you read my post on Monday, you know I am “offline” this week. I am hoping that by today I will have made all of the recipes I am suggesting you make. I already made the Banana Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies by Noble Pig a week ago, and they were a HIT! The other Noble Pig cookie recipe I want to try is Banana Snickerdoodles.

I must need potassium because lately I have been BANANAS for bananas!

Before I get to the other 2 recipes I want you to try… 2 recipes I have not yet tried, but plan to this week… I want to show you a picture of my husband and me:

We recently went karaoke-ing – with a live back-up band! Yes – if you look between my hubs and me, you can see some drum… and even part of the bass from a REAL bass playah! We got to sing a duet – “Summer Lovin’”. He was Danny… I was Sandy *lovesick sigh* In addition to this song, I sang “Dancing Queen” with the Blozulfog and Sheila. And I even got the nerve to sing on my own…TWICE… “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” by Pat Benetar and “Material Girl” by Madaonna. For the record, I NAILED that last note of “Material Girl”. NAILED IT. The WHOLE note.

O.K. Food. Have you been to Evil Chef Mom? She rocks. Just like Noble Pig, I have not made one recipe of hers I haven’t liked. These are the 2 recipes I have on tap for this week…. are you ready??? Noble Pig has my cookie fix covered… Evil Chef Mom will meet my ice-cold need: S’more Ice Cream Sandwiches *clutching chest* and Mexican Chocolate Sorbet *melting on the inside* I. Can’t. Wait… to both try these recipes and report back to you!

And if YOU try any of these recipes, let me know! You better believe I’m gonna be wearing my confidence apron!

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…ucuz I’m classy like that.

Before I expound on my my wordage skillzesses… perhaps I will start from the beginning. OR… as a word creator such as my self might say… the beginnitives.

*dramatic pause*

My friend Carrie of the highly acclaimed Stop Screaming I’m Driving! put a little call-out on her Facebook for FB addicted moms, or whathaveyou. I was all, “I’m not addicted. I want to teach the world how I am not addicted, but rather an efficient and frequent user of social media!” And whatnot.

*dramatic pause*

Carrie had the privilege of, of… experiencing her first-time radioness (I am on a flippin’ new word roll!!!). The podcast of her smooth talkin’ can be found here. And as a result of her gig, she was asked by the producers if she knew anyone who’d be willing to make themselves vunerable.

Enter Jennyonthespot… a.k.a. “will do anything to get more people to hear her… giving no thought to reputation or consequence” or WDATGMPTHH…GNTTROC,  for short.

Prior to my interview on the the local station KUOW 94.9 FM…

…I had to give my kids the “what for”. Basically, if you interrupt my one shot at infamy, I will lose it… dear offspring. You owe me this, you OWE me!!!

*pops chill pill*

I took all three of my lovelies and told them,
Continue reading ‘I used the “word” MODERATIVE on a radio interview…’