Jenny On the Spot: Caffeinated mom, lover of dancing, glitter and glitter.

Who knows what THAT title will bring from the interweb searchers. Aaanywho…

Here’s a cowmonkey on a bullcowdog…

Why a monkey cowboy on a bullcowdog? Because my friend Stacey sent me links to images of Darren Sproles (look him up, I’m tired), and in that email she added a link to this picture. Who does that? STACEY DOES. And I nearly shot sparkling water outta my nose and I just wanted to share the laughter

I’m a giver.

So is she. But this is my blog. ME. This is MY time to shine.

Continue reading ‘A Cowmonkey, a Cowdog, a Stroller and an Auction’

*rubs eyes*

Let’s take a closer look:

Indeed. Looks like the Easter Bunny has taken a hit in this rough economy too. Luckily, SHE (funny, I always thought the Easter Bunny was a “he”) was able to score a mocha/latte/Americano.When I asked her as to why she was chillin’ in a trash can the Easter Bunny had no comment. Snob.

I should cut her some slack. I suppose it’s hard to speak when ones mouth is actually made of stitching.

One never knows what one will get when walking the rough streets of Seattle on a sunny Saturday afternoon in March. And the popular Pioneer Square neighborhood? Obviously a favorite go-to place for our local Easter Bunny.

Speaking of CLEAN…. *clears throat*. I have a sweet little review and giveaway from the clean-makers at Oxiclean going on at my review blog! Head over to learn more and enter for a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card!

JOTS CODE

********

Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

Get Jenny On The Spot by RSS or EMAIL

Follow JOTS on Twitter, join the Facebook Fan Page and/or Networked Blogs!

I have no idea. This is not me. Clearly. No pink stripes in the hair. Otherwise. Mirror much? I kid… I don’t kid.

One day (Wednesday), I ventured to the gym. I am rather committed to the pursuit of fitness… for the next 8 days.

It’s important to have a plan. You see, I am going to be the MC for my kids’ school auction next Friday and since the school auction is going to be all about me, I plan on wearing lots of glitter and a fabulous dress. A fabulous dress – I would like to wear – as opposed to having IT wear ME. Thus, pumping iron and whathaveyou.

Also, I will be overdressed, but word on the street is the Auctioneer is wearing a tux and I simple CANNOT have him outshine me.

Me.

Me.

Me.

IfyaknowwhatImean.

You wanna se my dress? This is the dress. Hold onto your hats.
Continue reading ‘Are You An Aerobics Instructor Here? (Adventures at the Gym)’

Or so it’s been said.

It all started innocently enough… Or. Well.

I just… just… I guess I tend to put myself in situations that….

Erm…

Here’s what happened. I was at the gym. Trying to get mah “fit” on. And you know me… I’m a social girl. Did I ever tell you I got my B.A. in Social Studies? It’s an illness, really…

Aaaanywho… Jenny likes the people. And the people… the poor, poor people… I’d feel bad if it didn’t pay off with so many great stories to blog about. Fun how that works.

I was at the gym. I ran into a friend who dared lend his ears to my blabbering silliness. The upcoming holiday, Valentine’s Day *gag* came up in the convo and the poor fella just walked right on into my psychosis and willingness to risk it all for a laugh. I risked it alright. He said something like, “I’d give you a small piece of chocolate…. but just one.”
Continue reading ‘I Am Solid’

You know how they are. It went something like,

Olympic Fever has finally hit the Northwest! !!!!! !!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was working on taxes, so… I was already not in my right mind.

Immediately I thought,

Quick! Into the bomb shelter!

Woo-hoo! I’ll make Olympic Fever Masks!

Oh great. Another immunization.

And then it hit me.

THE OLYMPICS! Athletes, a torch, and whathaveyou. And also some Stonehenge inspired graphic… cuz a big, heavy looking rock guy makes sense… I’m sure there’s a story, but Mama has had enough of Google for one night. And Corona.

*Ring Ring*

Jenny, it’s the clue phone… and it’s for you.

Oh yeah, thanks. The Olympics. Right. Apollo Ono. Yeah. THAT fever.

I think the newscaster-person-dude was just tryin’ to start a riot, or pillaging. Alarmist. I bet he majored in Drama. So I clicked over to Day of Our Lives to get a break from the drama. I’m kidding.

**********

Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

Get Jenny On The Spot by RSS or EMAIL

Follow JOTS on Twitter, join the Facebook Fan Page and/or Networked Blogs!

I almost made it.

I was *this* close.

I almost made it through my entire mother-of-preschoolers career (an almost 11 year stint), without having one of my offspring pee, poop or vomit inside any one of the quite possibly, MILLIONS of play tubes their young knees have crawled in.

The Germ Tubes.

But my kids have left their own spittum and snot, I am sure of it. But keepin’ them juices from a Germ Tube is like keeping a poet from waxing cheesy, or Hitler from Evil…

Now, I HAVE been at a Germ Tube during select unfortunate situations:
Continue reading ‘Make Me Laugh Monday – Cuz If You Can’t Laugh… The McDonald’s Germ Tube’

I think… if one considers being considered “pornworthy” complimentary.

And apparently I do.

Oh dear.

Where to start, where to start…

*scratching head*

I helped my friend Lisa lead a little pep rally at a local private school for their upcoming Knowledge Bole Bowl. Go Smart People!!!

Continue reading ‘I Think I Just Got the Greatest Compliment of My Life’

I had to head out to a meeting this afternoon. I wanted my outfit to say something like, “I can hack it.” or “I can bring it”… or maybe “Professional laday is in da hizzouse!!!”

*ahem*

Before the meeting, I picked up my son from school. As we walked to the car he asked, “Why are you dressed up?”

I was all, “On account of the fact I going to a meet-in’… and want to look all professional, yo. Cutty. Do ya think I look professional?”

My son smiled, giggled and said, “Yeah. Or you look like a Jonas brother.”

I said, “So, you think I’m hawt…” No, really. I said that. I’m always fishin’ for a compliment. I don’t discriminate. I didn’t get the answer I was fishin’ for, tho. My question grossed him out. On 2 levels. He said, “MOM! I’m a boy and your my MOM!”

Whatever.

And here it is… my formerly “professional” outfit (albeit a *little* funk-ish/subduedrocker-ish/canIgotothedancecubnow-ish because that’s how I roll)… that I will hithertofore be referred to as my Jonas brother outfit:

I think my kid was wrong. I kinda think I look more like Zac Efron hanging out with the Jonas brothers… I’m hawter than I thought…

Actually, my son looks like Zac Efron… Oh dear…

Aaaand on further inspection… I suppose I COULD pass for one of the Jonas Brothers, but curvier and better hair…

…aaaaand maybe I look more confused, but less angry. I think we are all wearing black nail polish though… I have said before that I think I kinda dress like a teenage boy. But I was mostly joking. I didn’t realize I was actually spot-on. That’s right. That’s me Jenny Spot ON Jenny On The Spot…

*Just a few days left to enter for a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card courtesy Tom’s of M via my review blog – Click here for details!*

**********

Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

Get Jenny On The Spot by RSS or EMAIL

Follow JOTS on Twitter, join the Facebook Fan Page and/or Networked Blogs!

To me, this little set-up is akin to the highbrowed intellect of one who orders a non-fat, sugar free decaf vanilla/hazelnut/orwhathaveyou latte’… e.g., WHY BOTHER, YO!

And if YOU, yes you who are right here reading this right now, happen to be one who dares orders such things… *SLAP!* There. That should knock some sense into ya ;)

Decaf. Sugar-free… There should be a law…

**********

Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

Get Jenny On The Spot by RSS or EMAIL

Follow JOTS on Twitter, join the Facebook Fan Page and/or Networked Blogs!

I re-wrote the lyrics to the classic Santa Baby as performed by Eartha Kitt.

And then, one evening, I finally found my “quiet place”… a busy Walmart parking lot in a remote part of Utah.

Vernal.

Vernal, Utah.

And IN THAT PARKING LOT — I recorded me singing my new rendition of Santa Baby. Desperate times, people.

This is my letter to Santa. Santa Baby. There are a lot of 7 year-old cool cats out there… sending him letters or visiting him at the mall. Soon they’ll be leaving him cookies! I have competition, and I want to stand out. I want him to know how verrrrry good I’ve been, that I’ll be leaving him cookies too, and Santa… I want you to know how verrry handsome YOU are in that Big. Red. Coat. *RAWR*

I can’t believe I just posted this. I have official lost it. Heh. That was fun… and please note: I never claimed to be like Eartha Kitt, just crazy. Simple and crazy. And glittery. Oh, and maybe sometime awesome, but that’s cuzza the glitter.

Merry Christmas. All silliness aside… Merry Christmas. Times are tight, and sadness abounds.  I believe The Greatest Gift has already been given. May your day be merry and bright… Love, be kind and laugh with others. I hope I’ve been able to help you with that last one :)
JOTS Code

**********

Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

Get Jenny On The Spot by RSS or EMAIL

Follow JOTS on Twitter, join the Facebook Fan Page and/or Networked Blogs!