Jenny On the Spot: Caffeinated mom, lover of dancing, glitter and glitter.

Somebody stop me.

Somebody stop me.

Stop.

Me.

Somebody.

*crickets chriping*

Either nobody hears me (because nobody likes me everybody hates me I guess I’ll eat some worms), OR there is silence from the online masses because they are sitting on their hands… waiting to witness… and are afraid to peep and miss the profundity of  — the following self-portrait video *SMACK* I’munna put down right heeeya.

I choose the latter.

For obvious narcissistic reasons.
Continue reading ‘Narcissism On The Spot’

I have no idea what he is talking about.

My husband, that is.

There I was, working on a video of my self-portraits from 2009. And suddenly I was transported to the part of the movie in Julie and Julia where Julie and her own husband butted heads about her… her… clearly her very important work. But my husband didn’t leave me. Prolly because all five of us were in the car and he was driving. So… lesson: Men if ya gonna pick a fight, wait until you’re not driving. Makes it hard to stomp off in a huff and grab your coat off a chair when you’re going 85 in a 75.

Did you see the movie? It’s the part where Julie’s husband tells her she thinks she’s the center of the universe, LIKE IT WAS A BAD THING.

*rolls eyes*

I yelled at the T.V. screen to Julie. I yelled, “I know your pain, honey! It is SO HARD!”

*that’s what she said* I digress…

I wept for her. For my beloved Julie. For WE. All bloggers, really. I’m empathetic!

SO.

My husband asked, “What are you doing?”

I was all, “DUH! Working on my future world famous video! ME. My 2009 self-portraits.”

His dry reply, “Uh…. NARCISSISTIC?!!!”

Me, “Well. MAYBE. But… My blog IS titled JENNYonthespot. Not EverybodyBUTjennyonthespot.”

Sheesh.

***By the way, I am open. Just send me your photos! I’d LOVE to make a 2010 video. Not narcissistic at all — FANS AND ADMIRERS OF JENNYONTHESPOT — email me!***

You probably thought I’d have the video embedded here, huh?

But you CAN get my blog for your Kindle. Who knew?! You know “they” make it pretter darn easy to be narcissistic. I mean, if I were…

No. Sadly. You are sad, right? Cuz I’m a little bummed myself… It s not finished. Things like this take time. Like aged cheese.

I love cheese.

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I re-wrote the lyrics to the classic Santa Baby as performed by Eartha Kitt.

And then, one evening, I finally found my “quiet place”… a busy Walmart parking lot in a remote part of Utah.

Vernal.

Vernal, Utah.

And IN THAT PARKING LOT — I recorded me singing my new rendition of Santa Baby. Desperate times, people.

This is my letter to Santa. Santa Baby. There are a lot of 7 year-old cool cats out there… sending him letters or visiting him at the mall. Soon they’ll be leaving him cookies! I have competition, and I want to stand out. I want him to know how verrrrry good I’ve been, that I’ll be leaving him cookies too, and Santa… I want you to know how verrry handsome YOU are in that Big. Red. Coat. *RAWR*

I can’t believe I just posted this. I have official lost it. Heh. That was fun… and please note: I never claimed to be like Eartha Kitt, just crazy. Simple and crazy. And glittery. Oh, and maybe sometime awesome, but that’s cuzza the glitter.

Merry Christmas. All silliness aside… Merry Christmas. Times are tight, and sadness abounds.  I believe The Greatest Gift has already been given. May your day be merry and bright… Love, be kind and laugh with others. I hope I’ve been able to help you with that last one :)
JOTS Code

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My 7 year old daughter is a creative-type. She often asks to use my phone to take pictures. Or my Flip to take video. One day, Olivia wanted to take pictures of me. I was all, “Becuase you think I’m beautiful?” She was all, “Noooooo!” And I was all, “Eh?” And she was all…

Aaaaanywho…

Here is our photo shoot. It was the most enjoyable photo shoot I’ve been on since my trip to Milan with Vogue last spring.

Olivia wanted me to look natural, yet gorgeous. I was all, “TOTALLY, how about this…” *snap*

Continue reading ‘Just Goofin’-off On A Coffee Date With My Daughter’

Clearly, this is for Me and J-Bling. Clearly.

Thos sign-mkaer-people are friggin’ geniusses. Geniuiii. Smarty Smartersons.

*Hey! Don’t miss out – I am giving away an fully intact package of Candy Cane Oreos, but you have to leave a comment on this post :)

*New at My First Fail — Does This Watermelon Make My Butt Look Big?

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You don’t even know.

Wait. If you are reading this, you probably do know.

Or not. I don’t even know.

It’s just hard. There’s the entire being this part of a blogger that clamors for… for… comments. For traffic. How can one build fame and renown if one can’t talk about it?

Sure, we write, but we exist in a world of people with ears and mouths. Not just screens and keyboards. But when we must interact with IRLs… how does that go?

And also, at what point did robots become more “relatable”? I kid I digress.

A blogger struggles to find a voice… A voice that he or she wants to have, but more-so… one that others want to hear. We not only want to write, we want to share that we write. WriteRight?
Continue reading ‘It Is So Hard to be a Blogger Person.’

[Before I launch into whatever I am about to launch into... Take a peek at my new venture - Jenny On The Spot Reviews! All week I am taking a The Crystal Light Water Way Challenge... Each day I will write about my journey toward good hydration. So far (today), all my organs have taken all the water. My poor shrunken dehydrated organs... Anywho, you can read about it by clicking here and there is an opportunity to win a $1000 Visa gift card. Just read through the post to find out how! See ya there and happy hydration!]

Why don’t we put great big “air quotes” around that “online break” part. I think “Chris Farley” demonstrates it best:

Aren’t you curious what I did with all my extra time? Well, I spent a lot of time on my pot business. I still didn’t get email squared away. You may have noticed new posts here, but those were scheduled… I got a lot of laundry done last Monday. Monday only. I made banana snickerdoodles and the ice cream part of ice cream smores.
Continue reading ‘What I Did on My Online Break’

Oh snap:

I thought I’d go looking around the YouTube for tips on how to be popular. Because… as a grown 36 year-old woman I need to be looking for tips on how to be popular. Right?

And there you have it. A whole other level of ridiculous. Seriously? Since I found nothing, I feel I should speak up… because I have the “popularity” thing nailed *ahem*… here’s my advice:

• Smile often. Make that your default. But be a good tooth brusher. And flosser.
• Ask people about them. I am a person, so I would consider myself an authority on people. “People” really like to talk about themselves. Create opportunities for people to brag about their own greatness. They will LOVE you. (Warning: you may find you are not so big a fan of that person after all. I once met a guy who said, “I really AM a VERY good guitar player.” Um, never ever heard him play, but really – who the heck would want to? I find I just want to make fun of him… If you find YOU are the one having the opportunity to talk about you… I suggest  you don’t tell people you are a VERY good guitar player, especially if you are old and no one has ever heard of you. I figure if you are old and a “VERY GOOD guitar player” and no one but your buddy and his buddy has heard of you… it is likely you are just old. And delusional. And have a receding hairline. And maybe rent a room to live in from your boss… And smell of pot. That might help explain the delusion… but I digress…)
• Bathe. Regularly.
• Don’t be a Negative Nelly and don’t speak ill of others. Unless you use an old guy who loves how he plays guitar as an example of how not to be popular.
• Own glitter spray. Use it often, but give your public a break.
• Flattery
• Ummm…
• You can’t please everybody, and if someone doesn’t like you, then poo on them!

You know what I think about popularity – POO! Just be nice. Sincere. Interested. Ask questions. Make eye contact. The point is not to be popular… the point is to show people kindness and add to their lives. Being involved in the lives of others should have very little to do about ourselves. It should be about them and how you/me/we are adding quality to their lives. We don’t have to build a fence for them, I’m just talking about the person if front of you in line. A soft smile and a few kind words can go further than one might imagine.

“I got to do what I’m going to do for me” – I HATE that. We are always watching our for ourselves… I argue that if our focus was more external rather than internal, “popularity” wouldn’t be an issue. I argue for “otherness”.

Excuse me. I need to go apply a face mask and brush each section of my hair 100 times. And floss. I need to be pretty so people will like me.

Let’s end on this note. I found the following video at CHEERUPNATION. I suggest you add CHEERUPNATION to your RSS feed.

Untitled from mccabe russell on Vimeo.

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Oh dear. This is a long one…. Practically a thesis. Maybe I should change the title to BlogHer 09 Thesis and Whatnot of all Silliness and Ramblings of Great Proportion. Or not.

I was gonna do a “BlogHer – The Friday” post. Meh. Who wants a day-by-day run down? I just want to show you how fabulous life becomes when online babes friends get to meet each other IRL (in. real. life.) At BlogHer, not only did I get to meet people I have grown to admire, adore and, yes… even LOVE. I also MET people at BlogHer who I now admire, adore, and even… LOVE.

I fell fast and hard for some of these people…

In no order of importance, but probably in order of how this pics loaded from my iPhone into iPhoto, or however they landed on my desktop as I stalked the BlogHer pics on the Flickr…

Chris, Kim (3 Giraffes) and Sizzle Says… gettin’ texty with it whilst we wait for our ride to the Sheraton in Downtown Chicago.

Continue reading ‘I Went to BlogHer and… Shazam! I Luvz Me My Onlinez Peeps!’

Post #1 of who knows how many.

I have put this off for a week. Not because I haven’t wanted to do my own recap, but simply because — where to begin?

Should I go chronological? Do I just post pics? Do I post just my own or stalk Flickr? Should I make a little iMovie of pics… other people’s pics I found on FLickr cuz allz I had werz my iPhone cuz I lost the battery charger for my good camera and the entire camera of my other camera. I also lost my cute white skirt. If my brain was not attached at the stem of my neck…

Back to my BlogHer09 Recap Post Dilemma…Should I post the video of me singing “Ice Ice Baby” at the BlogHer Cocktail party Friday night? Should I make it public? How about the video of  Brandy of askpatty.com and I being lead back-up dancers for SecondHandKarl. I was so brave. Then.

Also, why did I wear white pants?

*photo credit – jack’sdad – on Flickr*

OK, so that wasn’t so bad, butt…

Oh dear…
Continue reading ‘BlogHer Recap – The Thursday’