The talented Jana of Sugar, Spice and a little bit of Life pulled together quite a group. Dear Jana, I love you. Mentor me.

NINETY women… (and a Mann wearing one sparkle glove!).

A secret Facebook group. Wave planning. Instructional videos posted to the secret Facebook page… Practice videos posted to inspire and also crack us he heck up!

So basically, 90ish people from across the country… practicing in their homes, dogs and children underfoot… all came together for a flashmob. For Blissdom. Not one practice all together…It’s just crazy how it all came together. And what a treat to have been a part of it.

And Alli. Of all the love in the word… that girl. *love* There are people you want to pour goodness over, because of all the goodness they pour out. Alli is that person.

My crazy-awesome friend Janice of 5 Minutes for Mom grabbed my camera and took this video, you know… so I could ackt a foo. It is unedited. It’s a flashmob… all in the spirit of keepin’ it real, yo!

SHAZAM!

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Flashmob at Blissdom 2011, ya'll!!! is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.

Uhhhhhh…. No. That’s not his…But that’s a goodie too.

No, the quote I’m thinking of supports the chaos in which I now live. The chaos that motherhood, parenthood, familyhood, employmenthood, friendshiphood, marriagehood, glitterhood and dancehood bring. A quote that sums up the pieces of my life into 14 simple words. None of which drove me to consult the dictionary. FTW!

You see, all the aforementioned ‘hoods are wonderful in and of themselves… but all ‘hoods are highly populated… I could really run this analogy into the ground.

Not unlike I run myself into the ground.

I digress.

The quote… It is a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche. Friedie is not a man I am want to quote often… Yet, he shared a string of words that touch me at the base of who I am — my dancing feet.

I want you to be ready to read this with your sole soul… Please — Inhale. Now, slowly exhale and read…

One must still have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star.

Indeed, Friedrich….

Indeed.

[photo credit both photos: Mark Gsellman|photmatopoeia]

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I'm Quoting Friedrich Nietzsche – Who Knew? is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

I don’t “do” The Macarena… unless it’s at a preschool fundraiser. For me, The Macarena is a “do it for the children” type of dance.

Howz-to-the-evah…

Give me some Cupid Shuffle, yo.

In fact, my friend Lisa and I took a local stage recently to help the crowd out – cuz they wuz doin’ it WRONG! And (humbly speaking) we know how to “walk it by yourself” like nobody’s bidness, so we decided to guide the wayward.

Of course, security also gently encouraged to get off that local stage… Apparently, they don’t allow stars patrons up there. Whatevs. They were just jealous. #skillz

Speaking of #skillz… Foxy Blunt has some serious card stylin’ skillz. Foxy Blunt is giving away 2 sets, but hurry – contest ends June 6th!

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The Confessional: The Cupid Shuffle. is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

I think… if one considers being considered “pornworthy” complimentary.

And apparently I do.

Oh dear.

Where to start, where to start…

*scratching head*

I helped my friend Lisa lead a little pep rally at a local private school for their upcoming Knowledge Bole Bowl. Go Smart People!!!


See me? I’m the one on the right – a 30+++++++ year old wearing the cheer skirt I bought for 5 dollah at the local Value Village a couple years back.

I bought it because a grown woman girl never knows when she’s gonna need a cheer skirt, right?

The pep rally — Case. In. Point.

This is the same reason I own fishnet stockings and don’t need to go shopping if a 60′s or 80′s themed party comes up. I got the goods. I like being ready in a pinch, and it doesn’t take much convincing to get me to dress up – be it fancy or ridiculous… or shimmery. Especially shimmery.

So. Being the scattered woman that I am… I rushed the kids out the door on pep rally morning… and neglected to bring a change of clothes for my errand runnin’. But I did have my phone. Priorities, ya know?

Scene:

I was chatting it up with Michelle of Noggin Toppers about an upcoming play-date with our girls, and one of my friends (and an employee) at the market I frequent *ahem* approached me… giggling…

(A grocery market, not a meat market… just to be clear.)

She asked, “We need to know… Is there a porn movie out there you’ve starred in? If so, we want to know the name of it!” Pretty sure she said “STARRED”. I heard that. Were I ever in ANY movie, certainly I would be the STAR, no?

YES.

Porn much?

I think I can see it.

37 years old…

3 kids…

Gravity…

*

*

*

*

*

Sorry. I just laughed so hard I nearly peed myself.

*

*

*

*

*

*breathing in a paper bag*

O.K. O.K. O.K. O.K. O.K.

Nay. No. Never. Ever. Porn?

No.

I can’t imagine a higher compliment…

O.K., MAYBE if someone mistakes me for Farrah Fawcett, reincarnated as her 25 year old self… then MAYBE, this will fall to #2. But other than that, I will always be able to say, “Well, one time… someone said I could be a PORN STAR.”

And I will have this blog post to prove it.

I’m going to regret this in the morning, aren’t I. And that is what makes me different! I don’t think the pornies regret things in the morning. Well, “regret” and the fact I have been neither gainfully nor non-gainfully employed in the aforementioned industry. Really.

Oh people. I should know better than to include certain words in my blog. I guess this post will just make for a seriously funny (or disturbing) searched keyphrases post. So much.

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I Think I Just Got the Greatest Compliment of My Life is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

Herefollows the story of my transformation. Because I HAVE been transformed.

How could I have been so blind?

So…. FLAT? See that pic to the left?

Flat. Ish. *YAWN*

It was a humbling journey that placed me eye-to-eye with a Walmart employee. Me. Asking…

Uh. Ex, ex, excuse me…. Ma’am? Uh. Lemme. Oh golly. I can’t believe. Well, I have an event and… Oh my gosh. I’ll just say it — Do you guys sell Bumpits here?

Yes they do. And to save you the embarrasement of having to ask WHERE, go visit their “As Seen on T.V.” section. You will find them next to the Snuggies and Pedi Eggs.

Oh. Yes.

In my defense, I needed it for a party. It was a Madmen themed party – a surprise for mah friend Lisa (*HOLLAH Birthday Girl!!!)… I needed to bouf-my-fant. *smacks gum*

I went for a saucy “administrative assistant” look, strongly influenced by the buxom Mrs. Wiggins:

And in some strange metamorphosis… I fell in love… with le Bumpits.

Did you miss that? Here’s another pic. Sorry my hubsy’s head is half cut off. I know you mostly want to see me anyway. AAAAnd mah Bumpit hair:

Still doesn’t change the fact that “Bumpit” sounds like the pit of a butt-crack, but I digress.

In fact, I even wore a bumpit to the roller rink for my kids’ cast party the next day! If a girl can’t wear a Bumpit at the roller rink, then there might as well be no reason to breathe.

IMHO.

Now. You know you want one.

Oh. Just a word of warning — Dancing. My Bumpit held fast when I did The Twist. However. I was left a bit disappointed in my Bumpit’s steadfastness when held to the test of Young MC… Bust a Move. It listed… to the right. But then again, that whole “Bust a Move” thing busted the slit in my skirt to a point of no return.

But is a party a TRUE success without a listing Bumpit and a serious tear up the slit of a pencil skirt??? Nope. Truly one of the best parties evah.

P.S. Just 2 more days to enter to win $500 in L’Bel product! Visit my review blog for details!

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Make Me Laugh Monday – Bumpits is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

It is no secret I am a huge fan of glitter.

No secret.

I love her. Almost as much as my firstborn son.

Almost. *feels shame*

So. Saturday night I got to get outtathehouse. I went to a costume partay.

picture courtesy Mark Gesellman – Photomatopoeia

I actually don’t know what I dressed up as… an over-aged homecoming queen? Glitter herself? In the pic above you see ME, Lisa and Lisa. A.K.A. Shizzle, Shizzle and True THAT!

One thing I do know is I was wearin’ some shoes that just about ended my career as a person who uses her feet for existing:

I know. Worth. It.

Aye… but the glitter. My friend Lisa made a spray glitter run for us.

Read: SHE bought the glitter.

Read: No glitter in the usual body glitter section.

Read: She found glitter spray in the craft aisle.

THE CRAFT AISLE.

This is us high on craft glitter spray fumes:

Minutes before we headed out for our evening of sparkly fun… we stepped outside to glitter-up.

Me as I spray glitter on Lisa: “Turn, turn, turn…. Oooooh! This is NICE glitter spray. I really like this kind. Wow! WOW!!! This is so sparkly!”

Lisa: “Do you think it smells funny?”

Me: “Whu? *pauses spraying* *begins spraying* NAAAAAAUWWWW!”

Lisa: interrupting her spin… “Are you SURE?”

Me: “Uh. Well. It does smell different. And I’ve never used this brand before…”

I look at can.

The directions said something like, “Good for use on METAL… PLASTIC… WOOD…”

*blinking*

She looked at me. I looked at her. We looked at we.

Snort fest. The whole, “StopstopstopI’mgonnapeeeeee” *snortsnortsnort* “conversation”…

I looked at Lisa. The level of her sparkle was impressive. She had gold glitter. Aphrodite demands gold. I said, “Guuuuurl. That be HAWT!”

I asked, “Does your skin feel funny?”

She: “Nnnnnnnooooooo.”

She: “You should do it.”

We reached for the can of my silver CRAFT glitter spray. And I spun beneath Lisa’s skilled spraying wave of poison silver glitter glory.

I don’t know what will happen because of our wild night of basking in the loveliness of crafting spray glitter. I do know this…

CRAFTING SPRAY GLITTER IS BY-FAR THE SUPERIOR BODY GLITTER. HANDS CANS DOWN.

My world has officially been rocked.

I find I am at a crossroads. Do I use spray intended for bodies, or do I use Awesome? You tell me. I cannot see clearly… *ahem* prolly because I still have poison in my eyes and lungs.

P.S. I have a little post up at Mom on the Spot. Finally, for all you locals… a little somethin’ about a local corn maze! And there is still one day left before I close up my $100 Visa gift card giveway (thanks to Febreze NOTICEables) and a week left for the $100 Visa gift card giveaway from Wonderbread! Hop on over for your chance to win!

andalsotodayisadayofmourningforitisthelastdayofmy36thyear…jsyk.

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Make Me Laugh Monday – Glitter Spray for Crafts Finds a Higher Calling is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

WHERE do they get it from?!!!

Oh. Nevermind.

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Make Me Laugh Monday – My Spawn is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

When I saw this card I said, “Self. Self!! SELF!!!! Look! I don’t think there is a more perfect card for you me we us you!”

A poor picture, we I know But it just adds to the message, don’t cha think?

This is prolly the most beautiful card I have ever almost given to myself. I know me so well.

*wipes tear*

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I Saw This Card and Almost Bought It to Give to Myself. is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

[Before I launch into whatever I am about to launch into... Take a peek at my new venture - Jenny On The Spot Reviews! All week I am taking a The Crystal Light Water Way Challenge... Each day I will write about my journey toward good hydration. So far (today), all my organs have taken all the water. My poor shrunken dehydrated organs... Anywho, you can read about it by clicking here and there is an opportunity to win a $1000 Visa gift card. Just read through the post to find out how! See ya there and happy hydration!]

Why don’t we put great big “air quotes” around that “online break” part. I think “Chris Farley” demonstrates it best:

Aren’t you curious what I did with all my extra time? Well, I spent a lot of time on my pot business. I still didn’t get email squared away. You may have noticed new posts here, but those were scheduled… I got a lot of laundry done last Monday. Monday only. I made banana snickerdoodles and the ice cream part of ice cream smores.

I must confess. I DID get on the Twitter a few times. Whrrrl… I will explain shortly. And on Tuesday I went on the Facebook and changed my settings so I wouldn’t get any FB emails. Blah, blibiddy, blah, blah, blah…

I think I am going to tell you about some things I learned in my “offlinez” time:

I learned the phrase “The dog ate my homework” could actually be a viable explanation. Kevin, our 15 week old puppy proved it.

I went to the Seattle Social Media Club August Meetup with my friend Lisa on Tuesday and this was the view from my rooftop seat:

You can read more about that fun evening in this Whrrl Story… This was a big reason why it was hard to stay offline this week. I mean really, how can a girl go to a SOCIAL MEDIA CLUB event and not go all “social media”? I mean, SRSLY.

And it was this evening that I learned when one wears baby oil on her legs, the baby oil does not only exist on her legs. It’s like glitter. It gets on everything, even the lens of her iPhone. WHICH, is not so bad if you are going for a “soft lens” look in a romantic shot… but maybe not-so-much the thing one is going for in a “we are such great Buddy Buddersons” shot. This turned out to be more of a “I love you, dahling” Kodak moment. And while I do love Lisa dearly… in the words of Meat Loaf, “…but I don’t love you like that…”

Oh. Snap.

I laughed at Costco one day. Here’s a picture… and if you can’t figure out why, then… just move on.

I learned that though one WANTS to take on recipes, sometimes it just doesn’t pan out. I did make the banana snickerdoodle recipe (yum)… and I was able to make the ice cream of the smore ice cream recipe (yum)… The good news is I have some awesome marshmallow ice cream in my freezer wating to be scooped onto graham crackers and dipped into chocolate… and then eaten *nomnomnom*…

The BIG event of the week was our little weekend away. My mother-in-law took the kids and the dog while Paul and I went to his 20 year high school reunion. I was so busy talking, I got nearly no pictures. However, here is one I got of Paul and I before we took on the Class of ’89:

I know. It’s blurry, but you can kind-of see how cute I my husband looked.

Ya know. I also took very few pics for all the dancing I did. There was a lot of room on the dance floor. Prolly cuz I was so intimidating…

Or because of me and my new friend Annmarie – a Zumba instructor (the gal on the left). Did you read that JD?!!! I boogied with a ZUMBA instructor!!! *chachacha*

On Saturday night I got a tattoo:

It’s temporary. #drats

I learned that when one attends the SMC Seattle meeting on Tuesday night, and connects with Twitter friends (@RealTweeter of Real Networks) and such… one might score permission to crash the Gnomedex after party on the following Saturday night.

And so I did. Paul and I spent a few hours at the Real Networks Gnomedex after party, where I got to meet a new love of my life – Jen Zug of This Pile. She is a gloriously delightful woman… and the fact that we have a dear friend in common (Julie Leung) is assurance that I know this woman is made of great stuff. Allow me to chase a tangent for a moment: Julie is the woman who started me in this whole “blogging” journey. Soley her. I take blame for my insanity, but she is to blame for the fact that you are all now subject to it

After the after party *blinking* we headed to a second reunion get-together. Can I just say as the spouse of a reunion-ee… I had a BLAST. And between all the talking to people at the Real Networks party and talking to all the classmates at the bar for the reunion… I think I used all my allotted words for the next 12-15 months.

Speaking of too many words, I need to cut myself off. I missed being here, but it was good to walk the empty halls of “real life” a little more. If you were hoping I’d come back with advice or a grand revelation about balance… I got nothin’. But I did do lots of laundry last Monday.

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What I Did on My Online Break is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

So, I went to the BlogHer cocktail party last night. So did Mrs. Potato Head:

Talk about “LIVIN’ LARGE”… and I hesitate to write what I am about to write, butt… Uh. Mah. Gah. Her butt is soooo BIG!

She was all out on MY the dance floor… Do you see the problem? Lemme spell it out… that “little” spud hogged MY dance floor. I. Know! The nerve. She has no idea. There was one good thing about my spuddly competition… HER butt did NOT make MY butt look big. I was even wearing white pants! (Thanks Darcy for letting me borrow them!)

I think I might have intimidated her with my moves, cuz she left after awhile. Just call me “Alpha-Spud”.

You can also call me “Vanilla”. Because I had the opportunity to rock the mic like a vandal… and got mah hip-hop on. I am pretty sure I lit up the stage and waxed a chump like a candle. Or something. *ahem* I belted out, with such vocal prowess, the highly acclaimed “Ice Ice Baby”. Thank you 3 Giraffes for documenting such an historical moment…

Crazy much?

By the way… don’t miss out on a chance to win a Smooshie and/or a $100 Visa gift card!

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Mrs. Potato Head Needs to Step Off is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...