Jenny On the Spot: Caffeinated mom, lover of dancing, glitter and glitter.

*rubs eyes*

Let’s take a closer look:

Indeed. Looks like the Easter Bunny has taken a hit in this rough economy too. Luckily, SHE (funny, I always thought the Easter Bunny was a “he”) was able to score a mocha/latte/Americano.When I asked her as to why she was chillin’ in a trash can the Easter Bunny had no comment. Snob.

I should cut her some slack. I suppose it’s hard to speak when ones mouth is actually made of stitching.

One never knows what one will get when walking the rough streets of Seattle on a sunny Saturday afternoon in March. And the popular Pioneer Square neighborhood? Obviously a favorite go-to place for our local Easter Bunny.

Speaking of CLEAN…. *clears throat*. I have a sweet little review and giveaway from the clean-makers at Oxiclean going on at my review blog! Head over to learn more and enter for a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card!

JOTS CODE

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The morning started early as my 7 year old climbed into bed, claiming she couldn’t sleep. I asked if she felt sick, she said, “No.” Heh. Read on….

Then my 4 year old, as she does most mornings.. popped-up her little head from the side of my bed and asked, “Can I snuggle you, Mama?” I can’t say no to that. She’s only 4 for another month. She is my youngest, so this is the last month of my life I get to snuggle a four-year-old in bed. Snuggle away, princess!

Soon after Joel – my 10 year old climbed up on the end of the bed and announced, “HERE MOM AND DAD! I have a card for you!”

He gave us a Valentine card from his heart – he drew a battle scene from Halo.

This is not a battle scene from Halo. It’s me in my Valentine colors. No one got to see my festivus-ness… read on…

Here is a picture of the flowers my husband gave me:

I LOVE tulips!

Here’s a picture of our “puppy” Kevin… wondering where his Valentine bone is:

Not unlike my 4 year-old, Kevin pops his head up at the side of my bed and wants to snuggle. Uh, not so much. He thinks he’s human. He loves to hold “hands”. Not kidding.

Here’s a picture of the chocolate chip Valentine pancakes I made with luuuurve:

Here is not a picture of the vomit poor Livi puked onto the side of the road and floor of the mini-van on our way to church Valentine’s Day morning:

[picture of puke unavailable due to not a taking picture of said puke *gag*]

*Digression! Could you please scroll back up to the first picture? Of me. No one got to see my cute, pink, Valtenitne-y colored top and sparkly heart necklace! Livi’s puke-itude happened about a half mile from church. I even had on make-up AND curled my hair. But due to the power of the interwebz… my efforts were not wasted.

Back to business….

Olivia’s tummy ache was short lived, because by the evening she was ready for sundaes. You’d never know she still had a fever in this picture. Sundaes make everything better, and here is a picture of the kids making their Valentine sundaes:

As usual, Valentine’s Day was a bit like everyday in the Ingram household… a little adventure. Maybe Forest Gumps said it best, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.” If there was money in those words, we’d all be rich. And looking back on the day… I think I am.

If Valetines-ness ain’t your thing (or even if it is)… would you mind clicking on over to my reveiw blog to read about how Electrolux and Kelly Ripa are working together to help raise money for the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund. I post pictures of CAKES!!!

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The Husband… his eyes burning with condemnation… as he stared at me through the innocent stair rails… He said, and I DO believe he seethed these words in ALL CAPS:

AND YOU KNOW THIS ALLLLLLLL HAPPENS BECAUSE YOU BLOG.

Whu? Who? Me???

Here’s what happened. It was a long weekend. A full weekend. A long a full weekend. To the tune of 3 children in 5 plays (the same one, but 5 shows), one gymnastics show, 4 or 5 meals out, one Jingle Bell Run

I made the local news for that… but they edited out my best line. You know the one…

Wait for it…

MADE OUT OF AWESOME.

Edited. Out. That was NOT made out of awesome.

I digress…

My friend Patti took pictures… Here’s me and something about spirits before the run:

Here’s a picture of me after the run… all bleary eyed, and missing one cute red ribbon from my hair…

Andalsosomuch, though the color of my skin might suggest otherwise… I do not have a case of the jaundiced. That was just bad lighting. I’m serious.

Oh yeah… with narry a 15 minutes to spare at any point on Sunday… we all made it home around 9 p.m. with my sis, bro, and mama -in-law and nephew… so we could celebrate our Christmas together. We are just way to busy for each other to make it happen ON Christmas, ya know? Aaaanywho…

9 p.m. on Sunday night…

Once the paninis were grilled and coffee drank and banana cream pie consumed… the kids opened presents and then ate their caramel apples…

And in the blink of an eye (a couple-a hours) … the in-laws drove away so as not to miss the next ferry and the children headed up to brush their teeth and the dog peed on my bedroom floor and my husband cleaned it up and I put a towel on the wet spot and I headed downstairs to curse our fool dog out of the children’s ear-range and then the 4 year old peed on the towel that covered the cleaned-up dog pee mess.

ON. THE. TOWEL.

True story.

It was at that point my husband looked at me between my fair stair railings and said,

AND YOU KNOW THIS ALLLLLLLL HAPPENS BECAUSE YOOOOOU BLOG.

Crack smoker.

The nerve. And I totally know what he means.

Mah bloggahs… I KNOW y’alls know what he means.

And then this morning I was all “You wanna know what ELSE happens because I blog? Wanna know, huh, huh??? I just won AWESOME ITSELF for doing a meme *neenerneener crack smoker*. My post Wishy, Wishy won the random draw at the Todays Mama’s Holiday Wishlist Giveaway. All kidding aside… this news made me cry great-big happy tears. That bike. Be still. My. Heart.

And also BECAUSE I BLOG…. YOU, my friends have a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card! My kids tried out the new Tom’s of Maine Silly Strawberry toothpaste…. we even made a video! But you’ll need to head over there to enter for your chance! Good luck!

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I saw these signs awhile back. I did a double-double take and made my husband double back so we could get a picture. It is as confusing IN CONTEXT as it is out of context. Kinda like my mind lately – in or out of context… Huh? Whu?

Precisely.

Let me change directions…

• Hop on over to my reveiw blog to enter to win $500 in beauty products from L’Bel, follow this link to check it out!
• Or go there to enter for a chance to win a table-top sports game from ZeloSport… one for yourself and one for you charity of choice!
• Did you know somebody very special just made it into her first REAL PRINT magazine? I’ll give you one guess who… *whistles*… Check out the newest edition of Type-A Mom’s Winter 2009/2010 Edition… It’s full of great articles from great women of the web (sounds so Matrix-y)… and me. My own article is titled: No Fail Resolutions: Make 2010 Sparkle Like A Brand New Toilet

It’s true! Look at the picture below! That girl stabbing that devil-skein of yarn? ME! Not only is my writing in a real-life magazine, but also my ANGRY EYES!!! By the way, my hubs just asked, “So if you have SEVERAL skein of yarn… is that called FORESKEIN???” Aaaanywho. We digress:

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*Before I begin… swing by my review blog to enter for a chance to win a table top sports mat by Zelosports – not only for you, but your charity of choice! Just leave a comment to enter!*

Here follows a list of the top ten oddest/funny/most stupefying search inquiries that brought traffic to my blog in the month of November. Go pee and swallow all beverages completely.  Mop your floor, your jaw may land there. You have been warned. And once again I sit confused, disoriented and am left wondering… and laughing. And I am not even going to list the ones that make me throw-up a little in my mouth.

I am not going to include in this list the expected – candy cane oreos, glitter, or race pee *blinking*… OK, maybe I will… Search inquiries in bold, my response in italics.

• oreos candy cane cookies taste bad – I am pretty sure this person will burn in Hell.
• bigg butt hurts your back – I wouldn’t know. Shutup.
• correctional officers crime blog poetry jenny lol - Who. Searches. For. This. Stuff? OK, you wanna poem. I’ll bring it:

Continue reading ‘Make Me Laugh Monday – Who’s Lookin’ Here?’

I took my kid to the park one day a week or so back. Being the conscientious parent that I am… I walked the perimeter of the park to inspect for sharp edges, stray shards of bark, matches and hypodermic needles. *rolls eyes*

Ya know… the usual “safety sweep” all parents feel compelled to do before fun times at the park.

It is especially critical here… in my sleepy faux Norwegian bayside town, with a large retired-persons population. In my standard perimeter sweep, I noticed a new sign. Gosh, folks. I can’t believe I am still alive. We never had signs like this when I was a kid. I suppose I am just fortunate – as well as 100% of my peers that never died at my local playground.

And for those of us who like to drink their coffee HOT… “The beverage you are about to enjoy is HOT.” Oh yeah, and have fun.

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Teachers. Bless their hearts. School staff persons. Again, bless their hearts.

And we may want to say a prayer of blessing for their heads, because when I went to help at my kids’ school… the following sign was hanging in one of the teacher’s bathrooms:

Bless their hearts heads.

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- I totally tried to swoon Harry Connick Jr. in my review about his new album. I haven’t heard from him yet, but I’m sure it’s only because he is nervous. I have that effect on men people. *two snaps up in a circle* Ouch. I totally just hit my nose.

- I am giving away some of the moneys in a couple of reviews on my review site. If you haven’t visited and commented on the Febreeze NOTICEables post or Wonder Bread post… maybe you wanna… There is still time to enter to win 2 different $100 Visa gift cards and a couple other things, like a year of freed bread and stuff.

- And finally… I started a series over at Mom on the Spot: You Know You’re a Kitsap Mom When… If you are a Kitsap-er, or are simply curious about the exciting life we lead here in the Pacific Northwest… here’s the dirt… the skinny… how we deal… how we be. Judging from our park signage, we may be a special people.

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I am in a FUNK. So here’s a video I made just this morning. It was going to be short, but I should just embrace the fact I am long winded in both the written and spoken word.

Now - that review and $100 Visa gift card giveaway! I have a new video there too! But it’s of my kids, and the even break out in song. When I watch the video I marvel… how true it is that the apples do not fall far from the tree… Click here.

Now. A shout-out for teachers! I recently teamed with BlogHer who has teamed with donorschoose.org to highlight a few Seattle-area high-poverty classrooms that need funding with projects ranging from reading books to pianos to white boards. But it’s not just for Seattle-area projects! This Social Media Challenge includes 16 cities across the country! I was just privileged to be part of helping select the Seattle-area projects. I know not everyone who comes through here is from this area, so I have the following widget in my sidebar and below… If you click there you can browse for a city near you and look at the of school children and teachers in your area!

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THIS is called the Ring of Fire. It is a popular carnival ride.

Every time I see the “Ring of Fire” I cringe… even squeeze my legs together a little. As a woman who has given birth, the “Ring of Fire” has a very different meaning to me.

I have survived the Ring of Fire. I have ridden rides similar to the one pictured here. Speaking as an authority on both, the ride pictured here is more deserving of the name “Stupid Dumb Circle Ride That Cannot Even Begin To Compare To The Horror And Utter Pain And Agony  OF THE REAL RING OF FIRE”.
Continue reading ‘Summer, Fall, Boys, Dogs, Hydration and the Ring of Fire’

I know. It’s riveting. You can’t look away, can you?

I am taking the Crystal Light Water Way Challenge this week, and writing about how all this water is affecting my bladder body. Look at that picture to the left… I’m all happy and hydrated and celebrating 56 ounces on Day 1!

How much water did you drink usually drink in a day? I wrote about yesterday in greater detail here. But if you’ll excuse me, I need to… well… I need to go potty.

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That’s right. You can’t see me, but I am doing that rocker-devil-sign thing with my right hand. Ouch. I can’t thrash my head around like that anymore. I think I just gave myself whiplash. I also nearly crushed my toes as I attempted to do a pirouette without my pointe shoes:

Why did I feel inclined to pop onto my bare toes and perform a pirouette? Broadway rock, Baby! Broadway! I’ve been listening to the unique muscial stylings of Rock of Ages – the Broadway Soundtrack. It is available at Amazon now.

Some cool info: New Line Records just hammered the in-store release of the Original Broadway Cast Recording of five-time Tony Award nominated “ROCK OF AGES.”  For those of you not in the know, Rock of Ages is the new Broadway musical starring American Idol finalist Constantine Maroulis. Set in 1987 in a legendary Sunset Strip rock club, a small-town girl meets a big-city dreamer and they fall in love to the greatest metal songs of the 80’s. The musical is an arena-rock love story told through the mind-blowing, face-melting hits of Journey, Bon Jovi, Styx, Reo Speedwagon, Pat Benatar, Foreigner, Twisted Sister, Poison, Asia, Whitesnake and more.
Continue reading ‘Rock Of Ages: Original Broadway Cast Recording CD Giveaway’