Let’s see…

I got a sexy new camera for The Christmas… and I LUH HER.

I am not a photographer. Nor am I a reader of manuals of electronics.

So I mess around.

With her… my camera… but not in a “back seat of the car” sort-of way.

To be clear.

Though, I will confess… there are times I want to make out with her because I LUH HER so very much.

*mwah mwah mwah!!!*

I appreciate how she easily snaps over my flaws. She is like the best of girlfriends… the way she filters light and makes my skin appear not as imperfect as it is…

I don’t know why I look so serious. I never know whether to smile or not to smile. I usually err on the side of smiling because the not-smile makes me feel like I look like a creeper. I look like I’m getting ready to steal that extra cookie.

I’m too chicken to steal a pack of smokes.

Plus I don’t smoke.

But I DO eat cookies.

Yes. Smiling is better.

But it’s easy to smile for Cami. That’s what I call her, you know… Cami, my camera.

I am all kinds of creative, y’all.

But can she fix my roots?

Well, she is still a good camera.

Cami and I also took some shots of Kevin.

An aside: I stay so busy doing important things while the kids are at school.

Busy busy.

*cough*

Kevin wanted me to be pet him and give him a bone. He did not want to me to take pictures of him.

He is such a private dog…

He was not happy with me…

Not one puppy bit…

Happy Dog Not Happy:

Take one more picture and I WILL CUT YOU.

But he didn’t.

He just gave up.

Good dog.

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JOtS and the Dog is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

As you may or may not know, my children are involved in a local children’s musical theatre group. All of them. Which means – I keep a lot of make-up around, and we eat more snacks than meals.

It also means cutest pictures ever!!!

Since we are so deeply involved, naturally I would like to take a moment of my blog time to promote a class that is being offered here in my area to help shape and hone the talents of our local young creatives!

I realize not all of you are local, but those that are – LOOK AT ALL THE FUN!!! Now you can go sign your kids up and stuff!

For my non-local friends — here is something for you…

I appreciate you coming over and I want you to get something out of your visit here today. SO. I thought I’d google “cutest ever”. Look what Google says is the cutest ever:

I definitely wouldn’t want to face this kitteh in a cute-off!

Whadday think? The kitty or the hedgehog?

Speaking of hedgehogs, did you ever see my hedgermelon? That was pretty cute too – AND yummy!

Speaking of broken limbs, have you seen the video where I outran a rocket while on crutches AND holding a video camera?

kitty and hedgie photos: mamrie, dailymail

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Dance, Drama and Vocal Classes in Kitsap County! And a Kitty. And a Hedgehog. is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

Recently, when all five of us were trapped in the car together heading to who knows where we were headed that time, the topic of conversation turned to our dog, Kevin.

…and how he is the perfect dog for our family and how he is probably part-human and how his personality reflects a little piece of each of our own personalities.

We don’t dress our dog in argyle sweaters, but we do talk about his personality.

I don’t know which is worse.

Aaaaanywho.

Everybody was busy spouting out how Kevin is like Dad and Livi and Joel and Lucy… yammer, yammer, blah, blah, blah…

He’s a snuggle hound… just like the huz.

He’s goofy and acrobatic… just like the boy.

He’s a total mess… just like Olivia.

He farts… just like Lucy.

“But what about ME?! How is he like Mom???”

Silence.

Crickets.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Head-scratching.

Chirp.

I saw the lights go off in my son’s head as I looked at him through the rearview mirror.

“I KNOW! HE GAGS ALL THE TIME…. JUST. LIKE. MOM!!!”

The sad thing is… It’s true. Totally true.

Rawrf. Hack.

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Our dog is just like us. is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

Last week.

Last week?

Yeah.

Last week.

I chaperoned a trip to the zoo…

This me and my shoe (CONVERSE!) on the bus…

The kindergarteners went with their 4th grade buddies. I have such a cute pic of my Lucy with her buddy, but I don’t know the mother of the buddy to ask for permission to use her likeness… so I can’t make you jealous of how adorable my daughter is with her buddy.

But I can post of pic of them in THEIR Cons on the bus!

I know. I know. It’s blurry. Bad Jenny. I just spoke at Bloggy Boot Camp Seattle and told everybody it was better to NOT post a picture than to post a blurry one, but I think we can all agree there are exceptions and I am making an exception. The reason? BECAUSE. And also also – KIDS IN CONS overrrides the Rule of Blurry.

An aside, Lucy, after working with this 4th grade girl off and on throughout the year… She still does not know her buddy’s name. Poor thing. She’s just like her mother… Cute. But not the glittiest piece of glitter in the art box.

Aaaanywho…

We saw reindeer.

We were NOT impressed…

I gagged.

I am not kidding.

Nasty reindeer.

Last year I went with my son’s class to their zoo field trip. He was in 4th… on that trip I had 2 4th grade boys and 1 kindergarten boy (one boy was sick – boo)… Or not “boo”. This trip with 4 girls was MUCH different than with those 3 boys. I wish I had found this box last year:

I prolly mighta been able to put it to good use.

I could have ended this post with that last line, but then I couldn’t show you this last picture…

6 year old girls… We never really grow up, do we…

Left to right: Moi, Tammy, Tina & Kristin (photo cred to Kristin!)

I love being a girl.

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Don’t forget – I have a GREAT giveaway going on…. JEWELRY ladies!!! Ends 6.17! Go here!

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Reindeers. Ew. And a bit about girls. is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

Lucy. She cracks me up. She keeps me laughing.

She also keeps me on my toes.

One day last week I took a shower (I didn’t take a shower ONLY 1 day last week, but whatever…). When I came out I found wrapping and printer paper across the living room… crayons and glue sticks… colored-on paper glue-sticked to the wall… the back-side of colored-on wrapping paper glued-sticked to the floor… glue stick stripes on the stair way wall… the eventual home for more colored-on paper.

You see, Lucy has a little friend she wants to have over. She was preparing for her hopeful playdate. She wanted to decorate the house to look…

“LIKE A CASTLE, MOM!”

*sigh*

But can I blame her? I know how it feels to want to impress one’s friends with one’s decorating skillz…

I was sorting through some pictures the other day. I found a series of pictures of Lucy and me (with a short video), and decided to wrap it up with a bow, in a manner of speaking. Kevin also makes an appearance.

That dog.

I love spending time with my little dynamo.

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Make Me Laugh Monday (a vlog): My girl… is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

I am not a fan of bugs.

Particularly FLYING bugs.

Do you remember the time I was on a phone interview with celebrity Joel McHale, and I was stalked by a yellow jacket???

Yeah. Me + bugs = STORY TIME.

I was asked by the lovely Janice and Susan of 5 Minutes for Mom and the makers of Raid to share “best” bug story.

I. Know! Like, “best” and “bug” should EVER be used in the same sentence. Aaanywho. Here is my BEST bug story. *shivers*

I know that I am not the only one with a bug story. Do YOU have a bug story? If so, head on over to this post at 5 Minutes for Mom. Share your story over there and enter yourself for a chance at one of two $500 Walmart gift cards. Over there… click here to go to 5 Minutes for Mom to enter!

*This post and that there video was sponsored by Raid. Man vs. Bug — Be the winner in the fight against bugs with Raid Max® Bug Barrier. Get 12 months of protection for under 10 dollars.

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In Which I Encountered a Jurassic Sized Bug! (VLOG!) is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

We have a dog.

His name is Kevin.

He’ll be 2 in May.

So he’s still a pup.

A 70 pound pup.

When we went to the vet about 2 months ago, he weighed 66.6 lbs.

That’s the Devil’s number, my friends.

I have never smelled the farts of the Devil, but I imagine the farts of Satan himself could not be much worse than the farts of Kevin.

They were so bad yesterday, I told the Twitters, “So. Our dog, Kevin… Did he eat a SKUNK or is he farting death itself?”

Lucy told me later he ate all her lunch.

Yeah. That’s ahahahahawesome.

Fast forward to the evening… minutes before the Huz got home. I was up in my room/office searching for pictures. A bit of a deadline was pressing my attention. So when the kids yelled, “KEVIN THREW UP!!! ON THE CARPET! A LOT!!!”

I said to me, “Well. It’s not like I turn back time. I can’t make him un-vomit on the carpet…I’ll just attach this photo to this email…”

MOM!!! KEVIN THREW UP AGAIN!!!!

Whu? Huh? The heck?

Literally, that was all that went through my head before they yelled,

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!

HE JUST DIARRHEA’D IN THE KITCHEN!!!!!!

I run downstairs to find Olivia (8) crying because she thinks Kevin is going to die. Almost immediately I start gagging because the volume of vomit on my carpet rivals that of an OIL TANKER.

Oh yeah – AND THE SMELL!

I hurried to get Kevin outside. Pulled my sweatshirt over my mouth and grabbed a roll of paper towels. I covered the piles of goopy-death-stench as one would lay a blanket over a corpse.

It was all just so very awful.

The stench was only getting worse, so I had the kids open every door possible – all the while I gagged. I in a manner I never knew possible.

*

*

*

And then Olivia started crying even HARDER…

Because apparently now she thought, what with all of MY gagging, that her mother was now going to die!

Within minutes, the Huz pulled up to the house from work, and the kids all ran out… Olivia in tears, the other two begging their dad,

DON’T GO IN THERE! KEVIN THREW UP ON THE ENTRY, THE CARPET, THE BACK PORCH AAAAAAAND WENT DIARRHEA IN THE KITCHEN!!!!!!!

So. Paul comes in the house. Finds his beloved bride, in full gag. Gag. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG… He immediately starts helping with the mess. And then yelled at me,

I CAN’T DO THIS WITH ALL THAT GAGGING. YOU NEED TO LEAVE.

So I went back to my room and finished sending my email…

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Of Course He Did… is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

I totes got educated.

I am not a native of the Pacific NorthWET… I mean NORTHWEST… So, instead of taking “History of the Pacific Northwest: How the Salmon Die”… I took “History of California: We Are Bigger than Your State. WAY Bigger”.

In the 13+ years I have lived here, the most I have really learned about salmon is that they taste super-nommy when cooked on a cedar plank.

Or something like that.

Until my daughter’s third-grade field trip to a local salmon spawning site.

The salmon came a week early this year. This meant we had to travel a mile further upstream.

If I do my math right – it took them a week to make a mile.

Herein lies reason #1 I am glad I am not a salmon – I can swim a mile in under 30 minutes.

*BAM*

I don’t even have a special fish fin. Just me and my arms and legs. I’m not even MADE for water.

Slowpokes.

The second reason I am glad I am not a salmon is… the whole DYING AFTER “GIVING BIRTH”.

Basically, these puppies, ermmmm… fishies swim up a stream, lay their eggs and die.

Not that I didn’t feel like dying after giving birth, but seriously.

So. If you ever make your way down a trail to a creek where the salmon spawn… be prepared.

THE STENCH.

Think about it – death.

IT SMELLED LIKE DEATH BECAUSE THERE WERE DEAD FISH BEASTS EVERYWHERE.

Dead.

They have teeth. Not unlike barracuda and piranha. See why I am afraid of fish?! Can fish get the Rabies?

I know! Let’s play a picture game! This will be fun! Can you find the decomposing salmon?

What fun for the third graders!

But enough about them – you’d be so proud of me. I never threw up! All that death and smell of death and observant third-grade comments… and I never vomited!

But I gagged.

Multiple times.

And  I offer my amends for posting such pictures. Just be thankful the interwebz is not scratch and sniff… just sayin’.

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Over here… I have a sweet post about friendship up. Hope you can pop by

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In Which I Am Glad I Am Not A Salmon is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

Dear Kevin,

You are over 60 pounds. And from what people tell me… you are still a puppy.

Not unlike my children when they were “puppies”, you like to be held.

Yay me.

Despite your adult-sized body, I know you are a puppy. I see how you leap. I see that look in your eyes that only the wee-people and animals make.

“Hold you me.”

I know that is what your puppy-dog eyes are saying.

But no.

NO.

Do you see you in that picture up there? Not so much, dude. The Humane Society said you were a lab’retriver mix. I think you are more a short haired sasquatch/dino mix.

So. Buddy. Step off. I’ll pat your head, but it is physically impossible for us to snuggle. AND you have claws. No so snuggly.

And your farts smell like you eat Death itself.

And you leave hair all over me.

Not on my list of favorite things…

I don’t even know how to close this letter… because, like – YOU CAN’T READ!

—–

And WHEN DID I BECOME ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO WRITES TO and/or ABOUT HER DOG?

If I start dressing Kevin up and carrying him in a purse suitcase… please stage and intervention and save me from myself. And bring me lots of lint rollers. LOTS.

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A Letter To My 60+ Pound "Puppy", is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...

This is Lucy.

She is my energetic & carefree 5 year old.

She is wearing a unicorn costume.

That is too small.

And no shoes.

At school.

(In my defense, once in the schoolhouse, the kids take off their shoes and put on slippers. So it’s not as bad as it seems. Or it might be…)

The thing is, as a mom… daily, hourly – even by the minute… there are decisions to be made. Some are more important than others. It depends on your bent and your commitment to safety.

SRSLY.

I feel that preschool apparel does not fall into the “safety” category, and Lucy did not die from wearing a costume to school.

But you know who could have died? Me… had I chosen to fight the battle of the Unicorn.

And that is what I want to share. As moms, we have lots of decisions to make… important ones and not important ones. It’s hard to see the forest through the trees sometimes… the constant thinking, deciding, weighing… I sometimes start putting too much weight on the issues that are not really *issues*… Now that I have 11 years of mothering under my belt I am learning to ask myself a question more and more — What hill do I want to die on?

Sometimes it’s important to hold to an ideal because it teaches a larger lesson, but sometimes… it’s not worth the battle. If I say “no” I need to fight the battle. On that morning Lucy asked, “Can I wear this costume?” My knee-jerk reaction was, “No”, but before I said it I asked myself, “Jenny… if you say no… are you willing to pay that price? Is her wearing that to school a big deal? Do you want to die on this hill today?”

Nope.

It can be hard to let go of our ideals. Our hopes. Our best-laid plans. Meanwhile… our children also have ideals. And hopes. And their own best-laid plans. And that is what makes parenting so hard. Learning to work together, letting these little wills have space to develop and grow… Letting go — figuratively and literally. Realizing that our way isn’t the only way.

I have no real conclusion… only this story. I continue to struggle with deciding what hills to die on. My selfish nature wants to rule all… I’m the Mom — THAT’S why. It’s good in theory…

And here is a sound clip of Lucy… pretending to be a horse. The girl loves horses. And unicorns. Clearly : Lucy the Horse

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A Horse or Unicorn & Choosing What Hill To Die On is a post from: Jenny On the Spot * This is what I do...