Jenny On the Spot: Caffeinated mom, lover of dancing, glitter and glitter.

JD, may I use that phrase? I know you own the whole, “I *insert action here* so you don’t have to” concept. And it’s true! She does it ALL so we don’t have to. She’s a giver like that. She even ate sardines! I would NEVER do that for you… but mostly because my tummy is so full of Oreos and coffee all the time.

Aaaanywho. I digress.

I want to re-post my story about a cleanse I did a little over a year ago, in case you missed it. We are embarking on a season of resolutions. A time when we feel motivated to eat our veggies or purge our inboxes… or colons. Depends on the individual.

Here’s a picture. Totally unrelated. I’m getting too wordy. *eyes cross* Lucy got “polka bot” jammies for Christamas this year… I got my own last year. She made us wear them together the night she got hers. We took pics. I love how she puts on her best face for pictures:

Continue reading ‘In Which I Save Your 2010: I Did A Cleanse So You Don’t Have To’

We went to my parent’s for Christmas. They live a good 20 hours away.

I know. You wish you were me… 3 kids. Sick husband. Heated front seats. Yes… Heated. *purrrrr*

Here follows a bullet list of some of our Christmas adventures:

• I left Lucy’s Christmas presents at home.
• The nearest retail outlet is one hour from my parent’s home.
• The nearest pharmacy is one hour from my parent’s home.
• Turns out the hubs had bronchitis.
• I filmed a video and used my car as a recording studio in the parking lot of that far-off retail establishment.
• The nearest Starbucks to my parent’s home cannot be found on Google Maps:

Continue reading ‘Road Trip for Christmas!’

To me, this little set-up is akin to the highbrowed intellect of one who orders a non-fat, sugar free decaf vanilla/hazelnut/orwhathaveyou latte’… e.g., WHY BOTHER, YO!

And if YOU, yes you who are right here reading this right now, happen to be one who dares orders such things… *SLAP!* There. That should knock some sense into ya ;)

Decaf. Sugar-free… There should be a law…

**********

Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

Get Jenny On The Spot by RSS or EMAIL

Follow JOTS on Twitter, join the Facebook Fan Page and/or Networked Blogs!

I stubbed my toe only a short time ago. It doesn’t really matter why or how. OK, since you asked — I was stumbling about a dark room to turn on a light… But it didn’t happen in the dark… no… it was AFTER I turned the light ON.

This is what I do.

In that moment it finally came to me – my next post! I thought, I bet folks have no idea I almost throw up every time I stub my toe(s).

That is my randomnimity #1. Stubbing my toe makes me feel like vomiting!

#2 – I think it’s fun to make-up words, like, say “randomnimity”!

#3 – I have only eaten 5 peanut butter balls this holiday season!

#4 – I felt a twinge of jealous rage when I saw a new use for a swine flu mask at a doctor’s office. I hate it when I am not the mastermind!

#5 – Whenever I go into the creation of a top-ten list… I never have a plan. Like, right now. I have no idea if…

#4 – If you ever want www.motherclubber.com… you’ll have to sit in a corner and weep. It’s mine. Me and mah fren Lisa have plans… We want to have our own DJ bidness, or whathaveyou.

#3 – The first 4 of this top ten all ended with an exclamation point!

#2 – I can’t eat cooked mushrooms (unless choppedchoppedchopped and hidden on pizza or in a casserole) on account of the fact I had a bit of an “incident” back in the ‘07. It involved the stomach flu. It was ugly.

#1 – The smell of Windex – not so much. Gaggy. Goes back to the day I found a bug the size of a child’s fist in my car. I am sure that bug was the first sign that the End Times are near. I had no one to help me get the bug out. Well, I called on one big, strong college pal. But he looked at that sucker and was all, “Dude. I. Uhh… I…” He backed away. I stood there… I looked at him… I looked at Satan Bug. I looked at him, I looked at Satan Bug. I think the guy actually ran away. I was left alone. Alzz I had was a bottle of Windex.

So…. I Windexed the friggin’ life outta that bug. That “bug” had an irridescent tank armor on his child’s fist-sized body. Aaaand… my car smelled like Windex for WEEKS.

All that gagging while murdering (with Windex) – that little Satan that tried commandeering my vehicle… I always think of that hot summer morning at Casa de Jerardo in Riverside, California.

*****

There are 2 giveaways happening on my review blog: $500 in beauty products from L’Bel and a $100 Visa gift card from Tom’s of Maine Silly Strawberry toothpaste. Click HERE to comment and enter the L’Bel giveaway and HERE for the Tom’s of Maine contest!

**********

Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

Get Jenny On The Spot by RSS or EMAIL

Follow JOTS on Twitter, join the Facebook Fan Page and/or Networked Blogs!

May your day be full of the delight and wonder of a child. There is a reason Jesus came as a child.

OR…

May it be full of the delight and wonder of the most adorable Christmas Eve organist that has ever played the pipes…

From my heart to yours…

Jenny

**********

Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

Get Jenny On The Spot by RSS or EMAIL

Follow JOTS on Twitter, join the Facebook Fan Page and/or Networked Blogs!

I re-wrote the lyrics to the classic Santa Baby as performed by Eartha Kitt.

And then, one evening, I finally found my “quiet place”… a busy Walmart parking lot in a remote part of Utah.

Vernal.

Vernal, Utah.

And IN THAT PARKING LOT — I recorded me singing my new rendition of Santa Baby. Desperate times, people.

This is my letter to Santa. Santa Baby. There are a lot of 7 year-old cool cats out there… sending him letters or visiting him at the mall. Soon they’ll be leaving him cookies! I have competition, and I want to stand out. I want him to know how verrrrry good I’ve been, that I’ll be leaving him cookies too, and Santa… I want you to know how verrry handsome YOU are in that Big. Red. Coat. *RAWR*

I can’t believe I just posted this. I have official lost it. Heh. That was fun… and please note: I never claimed to be like Eartha Kitt, just crazy. Simple and crazy. And glittery. Oh, and maybe sometime awesome, but that’s cuzza the glitter.

Merry Christmas. All silliness aside… Merry Christmas. Times are tight, and sadness abounds.  I believe The Greatest Gift has already been given. May your day be merry and bright… Love, be kind and laugh with others. I hope I’ve been able to help you with that last one :)
JOTS Code

**********

Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

Get Jenny On The Spot by RSS or EMAIL

Follow JOTS on Twitter, join the Facebook Fan Page and/or Networked Blogs!

There is very little to say about this. It stands alone. It’s only audio, but just close your eyes. Feel the passion. Take it to the end, cuz ya *might* be tempted to not. Finish. Listen. Crescendo with the artist. Go with him… Also, pee first. No. Really.

I heard this when I was driving the car. My husband played it for me. We nearly crashed.

**********

Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

Get Jenny On The Spot by RSS or EMAIL

Follow JOTS on Twitter, join the Facebook Fan Page and/or Networked Blogs!

I just feel moved to write about this treasure… as an outsider. I am not an adoptee, nor have I adopted…

Oh, but to bring a child into a circle of love and family where there was none… moves me deeply.

I hold adoptive families in the highest regard… for the effort and sacrifices they make to be able to make an adoption happen. It is time consuming. It is expensive. It can be emotionally draining and taxing in ways I am certain I have no clue.

I just want to use some of the space I usually fill with silliness to acknowledge families who adopt – whether local or children from other nations. A good friend of mine recently adopted a young brother and sister from Ghana. If you browse the blog of Kristin at The Jag 7, you can read about their journey. It was a difficult and long process, but if you peek, you will see it was worth it all. So precious.

Adoption is so heavy on my mind and in my heart simply because of people like Kristin above… and also because of new connections on Twitter… and one made recently via this blog. I want to tell you about them…
Continue reading ‘Adoption and Goodwill Toward Men’

Nope.

Still nothin’.

I thought maybe getting a title in might start the fire.

Not so much.

Actually there is quite a bit to be written on this my tablet that sits on the interweb… but

(BUT with one “T”, by the way).

Not everything should be shared. I mean, I WANT to, but

(with one “T”, BTW…). Why y’all keep starin’ at mah but? Sheesh.

I guess I could tell you about the time (the other night) that I went to a Facebook game developers meetup. Of the 330 (give or take) in attendance I was one woman of about a dozen. I wore my hair like Princess Leia. I’m kidding. I wore my favorite new hat. Wanna see?
Continue reading ‘Oh My Gosh’

The Husband… his eyes burning with condemnation… as he stared at me through the innocent stair rails… He said, and I DO believe he seethed these words in ALL CAPS:

AND YOU KNOW THIS ALLLLLLLL HAPPENS BECAUSE YOU BLOG.

Whu? Who? Me???

Here’s what happened. It was a long weekend. A full weekend. A long a full weekend. To the tune of 3 children in 5 plays (the same one, but 5 shows), one gymnastics show, 4 or 5 meals out, one Jingle Bell Run

I made the local news for that… but they edited out my best line. You know the one…

Wait for it…

MADE OUT OF AWESOME.

Edited. Out. That was NOT made out of awesome.

I digress…

My friend Patti took pictures… Here’s me and something about spirits before the run:

Here’s a picture of me after the run… all bleary eyed, and missing one cute red ribbon from my hair…

Andalsosomuch, though the color of my skin might suggest otherwise… I do not have a case of the jaundiced. That was just bad lighting. I’m serious.

Oh yeah… with narry a 15 minutes to spare at any point on Sunday… we all made it home around 9 p.m. with my sis, bro, and mama -in-law and nephew… so we could celebrate our Christmas together. We are just way to busy for each other to make it happen ON Christmas, ya know? Aaaanywho…

9 p.m. on Sunday night…

Once the paninis were grilled and coffee drank and banana cream pie consumed… the kids opened presents and then ate their caramel apples…

And in the blink of an eye (a couple-a hours) … the in-laws drove away so as not to miss the next ferry and the children headed up to brush their teeth and the dog peed on my bedroom floor and my husband cleaned it up and I put a towel on the wet spot and I headed downstairs to curse our fool dog out of the children’s ear-range and then the 4 year old peed on the towel that covered the cleaned-up dog pee mess.

ON. THE. TOWEL.

True story.

It was at that point my husband looked at me between my fair stair railings and said,

AND YOU KNOW THIS ALLLLLLLL HAPPENS BECAUSE YOOOOOU BLOG.

Crack smoker.

The nerve. And I totally know what he means.

Mah bloggahs… I KNOW y’alls know what he means.

And then this morning I was all “You wanna know what ELSE happens because I blog? Wanna know, huh, huh??? I just won AWESOME ITSELF for doing a meme *neenerneener crack smoker*. My post Wishy, Wishy won the random draw at the Todays Mama’s Holiday Wishlist Giveaway. All kidding aside… this news made me cry great-big happy tears. That bike. Be still. My. Heart.

And also BECAUSE I BLOG…. YOU, my friends have a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card! My kids tried out the new Tom’s of Maine Silly Strawberry toothpaste…. we even made a video! But you’ll need to head over there to enter for your chance! Good luck!

**********

Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

Get Jenny On The Spot by RSS or EMAIL

Follow JOTS on Twitter, join the Facebook Fan Page and/or Networked Blogs!