Why Fritos? The truth (this IS The Confessional) I have a wee-bit of writer’s block and all I could come up with is confessing my poor eating choices from yesterday.
Like you care.
But it’s My blog, and this is alzz I got *shows salty finger tips*
Here’s my dirt.
I’d could call it “the skinny”, but a gal who can pound back one of those individual “king-size” bag of Fritos in less than 1.34 minutes and wash the crumbs back with a packet of Gushers… she don’t get to hook into the word “skinny”… even in a comparative sense. She blew that privilege, but not only because of the Fritos and Gushers, but more-ly in the 30 minutes before when she pounded back a cupcake (or 2)…
Yes. That’s an Oreo center. My friend Sheila delivered them to me on my birthday. I *heart* Sheila… She also brought a Blingle Bell which is now prouldy hanging from my rearview mirror…
Blingle all the way!!!
But back to my salty finger tips blocked arteries growing backside “dirt”, in my defense… I had forgotten to eat lunch. And come 3 fitty three in the afternoon, a girl has got to do what a girl has got to do. *chomptotheravenouschomp*
The other piece of this confession is what I searched for online. I did this post on “big necks” and needed an image, so I searched, “guys with big necks”. It dawned on me later that I was very lucky to have come out of that image search unscathed. *hallelu* But I did find one pic, located on some poor fella’s MySpace page. I decided I couldn’t use it, mostly because I would have been making fun of him. Seriously. I’ve never seen such a neck… attached to such a ill-proportioned (tiny) cranium…
I’m digressing. And gagging a bit. You gotta wonder if people own mirrors… Circus people own mirrors. Maybe he worked out in the Fun House.
So. MySpace. As curiosity would have it, I scanned down to his MySpace bio blurb. Why was I soooo curious? I dunno. I have a thing for circus-y things I suppose.
I didn’t hesitate… I HAD to take a screenshot:
And I suppose I am making fun of this guy. I try to only poke fun at myself, but I have hidden the critical info. Can we just pretend this is some comic character? It’s OK to laugh at comic characters, right? But Cowboy… if you’RE reading this, you’RE going to need to click “edit”… Yes. You. Are.
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You know how I feel about grammatical/spelling errors.
I laughed so hard, I peed. You are awesome.
I just have to comment on this. It is quite possibly one of my biggest blogging pet peeves… ok, just after ‘too’ versus ‘to’. You are writing for the entire world to see for eternity people- make an effort, get a dictionary, use a thesaurus… something… anything! For the love of God, you are driving the grammar police insane!
Great confessional! (Although, really, I hate Gushers. I’d take nearly any other piece of crap I feed my kids, but the Gushers? Blech!)
As for “your,” I can only heartily (or is that “hardly”) agree and relate the poster made by some 8th grade students celebrating the arrival of a new principal. Painted “Welcome Ms. NAME! We’re glad your here.” Thankfully, someone added an apostrophe and an e, but, alas, not with paint. Can’t mask the true state of education at my oldest kid’s middle school.
I hope Michelle is a friend of yours…and its all in fun, otherwise, please save comments like this for PMs.
Great confessional.