Comments on: Careless Words

By: jennielynn

jennielynn — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 18:59:44 +0000

Good for you. You know how I feel about the “R” word. RNM’s post was amazing…very eloquent.

By: Kathleen@ForgingAhead

Kathleen@ForgingAhead — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 04:41:32 +0000

My mom taught special needs kids and I used to volunteer at camp in the summer and then was a teacher assistant through college – I do not tolerate the word retarded. And I will kick a$$ of anyone who does. So there.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 02:39:42 +0000

That was beautifully said.
Thanks for posting this.
I love to see a mother’s love defending her babies. Just beautiful.

By: Christy

Christy — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 22:22:14 +0000

I’m super sensitive to this and I’m not afraid to speak up and tell them what I think about that word! Most people use it flippantly and don’t realize how that can sting and hurt someone (especially me now that I’m a mother of a special needs child). By telling them, it usually keeps at least one more person from saying it.

I loved that session at BlogHer and Tannis’ was my favorite. It did a number on my make-up, though.

By: OhSweetSara

OhSweetSara — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 20:34:57 +0000

Thank you for this post.

My son is considered special needs and hearing people throw that word around makes my skin crawl. My son was at the park with his grandmother when he was 3 and a child who I was told couldn’t have been more than 5 came up to him, asked him if he was “retarded or something” and then pushed him. Had I been there, his mother would have gotten a mouthful from me. I will never understand why a person would choose to teach their child such ignorance.

Another thing that really upsets me is when people reference the smaller busses in order to make fun of another person. Whenever I would hear that I would simply ask them “what is wrong with ‘short buses? It is a bus equipped with seat belts to keep the kids safe, and my son happens to ride it.”

It just infuriates me that people don’t think about who they might hurt when they use words like that.

By: greensullivan

greensullivan — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:58:48 +0000

Yeah, people- I- am careless. I grew up hearing that word used from my East Coast parent. It has been imbedded in my speech. It is wrong. I can so clearly hear my family toss it about. We never called other people that but we certainly call ourselves it. Never put it together. So I formally apologize to Redneck Mommy, Totally Desperate Mom, Jessica, Madge (you especially because I know what happened to your Aunt and I feel that pain-deep), and everyone else for using that word. I am sorry.

Jenny go ahead and give me that hand of defense, cringe, plug your ears and recoil, because I think it’ll come out of my mouth yet again…and it’ll still be wrong.

By: Redneck Mommy

Redneck Mommy — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:43:49 +0000

Obviously this is a big issue for me, for my children.

I heart you forever for helping spread the word and for embracing my cause.

You rock my socks.

By: Madge

Madge — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 18:31:57 +0000

Thank you for writing this, and Tanis for writing and speaking. My aunt has Down Syndrome. She is in her 50′s now. When she was born, there wasn’t a lot known about her condition and there weren’t many therapies available to her. My mother still cries when she tells me of the day that they took her sister to a state run institution at the age of 7. My mother’s family visited my aunt often and brought her home on weekends, but it was very clear that the experience of that institution broke my aunt’s will.

By the time I was born my aunt no longer lived at the institution. She lived in a group home and spent weekends at my grandparents’ home. I was very aware of what “retarded” meant. It was not funny in any way.

Whenever a friend of mine would use the word retarded in an offensive manner it felt like a slap in my face. I never said anything to anyone about how offended I was. It’s been a while since I have had anyone say such a thing to me but I will be sure to correct them in a polite way and maybe share with them my aunt’s story.

By: Amo

Amo — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 18:20:56 +0000

This is inspiring. I know exactly how you feel.

I have several neighbors who read my blog and use that word on a daily basis. I hope this will give me the courage to correct them in a more gentle way. “Careless” is exactly what it is for most people.

I would love to put up a similar post on my blog and link back to this one, if you don’t mind.

Please let me know.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 16:18:13 +0000

Jenny,

I just wanted to tell you that I really appreciate your post. My brother has some issues and I have been very careful not to use that word — and not to allow my girls to use it either. Does my brother have a clue people are saying it when we’re sitting nearby or what it means? I’m not sure. But if I am sitting with him and I hear it, I automatically cringe. It makes me mad that they can tell something isn’t quite right with him, and yet a few minutes later they’re describing something or calling someone else in that way. Too many people say that word — way too many KIDS say it. It makes me sad.