Honestly, this is probably my most difficult confession to-date. I hesitate because I worry you won’t love me anymore. I worry your high (shutup) opinion of me will tank and I will be left to waller alone in all my indentity mid-life “I wanna be a professional hip-hop dancer, but I’d be better at giving medical-walker demonstrations at an aged-person’s convention” crisis.
Despite all my fears… I must confess *holds back*… No. I will tell you. I will own it. I cannot be who You need if I cannot be who I AM. I am an adult woman with three children in her mid*ahem*thirties who…
Wait. Let me start from the beginning. I have gone to the local roller rink a couple of times in the last 2 weeks. Both times there were two young gangstas fellas who ROCKED the hardwood. Both times they suggested this song called “Bird Walk” by a fairly popular and accomplished musical artist –> SouljaBoy, *flashes gang sign* and got their moves on, while on roller blades! I. Know. Shizzle to the tenth power of Awesome!!! *sprays glitter toward sky in an act of reverence*.
May. I. Just. Say: I fell in love, not unlike a three year-old girl who goes to Disneyland and meets Cinderella for the first time. I was in awe. The way those gangstas young men busted out the dance moves to The Bird Walk… It was a thing of beauty. I stood in amazement, and oozed jealousy. I was not jealous that they were probably gangstas younger, but they — in the fine lyrical stylings of SouljaBoy, “Turned their swag on”. Aaaaactually, I don’t even really know what that means. I could actually be writing something very inappropriate. If so, my amends.
The second time I saw them young fellers get their swag on… I joined them. With my skates on. *waits for bows*
You see. Between my first and second visit to that there roller rink… I researched the Bird Walk on the You Tube. That is my confession:
I RESEARCHED HOW TO DO THE BIRD WALK ON THE YOU TUBE SO I COULD ROCK THE HARDWOOD AT THE LOCAL SKATING RINK AND PUT ALL THE KIDDIES TO SHAME, yo.
*cowers*
But before you go, I want you to see what I’m talkin’ ’bout. On the by and by, if anyone else wants to learn the Bird Walk with me, I plan to watch this video 8 dozen times and hold a class in my home. Who’s in? Should I set up a Goolge doc and make it happen? Who wants to also, turn your swag on? BTW, me and that girl on the right in this video, I am pretty much at her skill level… *cracks neck*
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Oh! I want to join you during the learning process! I see some Native moves in this! I think I can actually pull this one off! What time, what time???!!!
Ya know the gangsta (nice young) boys have sat at home watching the videos ova n ova to get those moves down. Don’t feel shame, girl. Git out dar n kickit!!!
This is why I haven’t been to a skate-place in years. The urge would overcome me and it would be all aspercreme after that! Good luck
um, i can’t even do the electric slide.
fuck.
whatevahs, sign me up for a class. but don’t take a drink of anything before i get there. cause you know even tequila tastes bad spraying out of your nose.
This probably looks really cool on skates. I have some weddings coming up…maybe my posse and I can take your class and then show off our skillz at the receptions. It’d be much better than the Electric Slide or the Chicken Dance!
The “Chicken Dance” has come a long way baby!
You and my 11 year old son….shaking mah head with a huge grin on mah face… :D But, yeah, looks like FUN!
Indeed girl, video yourself!
[ducks] I still don’t know the “hustle”.
I’ll get my bird on with you! I just got the cranky thing down and this is way harder, give me a minute or two, mkay?
Here’s where I confess something that would make it appear that I’m saying I’m old, which I will deny, deny, deny – it’s a good thing you told me the name of that song, because I couldn’t understand half the words in it! You kids with your crazy hip hoppity rock and roll new age fusion!
I want to learn! I will injure myself immediately, but I want to learn!
You are da bomb!
A GREAT post! Laughed all the way thru and then wanted to jump up and shake it while watching that video. I might go to the roller rink again if I could witness skills like that.
I’ll come to class. I’ve seen the young gangstas myself and I could handle being cool like that. But you KNOW how bad I am at following dance moves.. I’m all freestyle. Just give me a pole.
Just came by from the Ultimate Blog Party! Love your blog..
Jenny… You never stop amazing me! You rock!