Jenny On the Spot: Caffeinated mom, lover of dancing, glitter and glitter.

I love me my friends. This is a glimpse into one of my wonderful friendships. The gal I am sharing video space with here is my girl Lisa. She makes me snort. My laughy-snorts make her pee her pants. I snort when she laughs so hard she pees her pants… she pees her pants when I snort… it’s a vicious, wonderful cycle. The night we took these pics, we were returning from a trip to the city… We don’t get out enough, I suppose.

Anywho… we caught a late-ish ferry home. It was her, me and a camera all alone in a mini-van. One thing lead to another. I began to snort, and it only went downhill from there… Or uphill. It’s all about perspective. My hope for you is that you also have a friend (or friendS) who makes you laugh so hard you snort, or pee… or maybe even some of both. Cuz, yeah… that’s what makes your heart strong. Yes, weakens your bladder, but life is full of compromises:

Have something funny to share: Go for it! Mr. Linky is below! Share the laughter :)

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And then she came back, because it was a loop, and she wanted to get back to her car so she could go home and have some lunch. And some coffee. And a row of cake. Oh, and a hot shower.

I ran 18 miles yesterday. The word “ran” is a subjective word, really. Observers might use a term like “exaggerated walk”… or even “exhasperated walk”… 

But what I REALLY want to share here today is this: running is a VERY unattractive sport. I mean, there are some good results when it comes to bein’ able to wear some cute jeans, but… I am learning the whole process of bein’ able to werk a cute pair of jeans is pretty not cute. I digress. Here follows a list of reasons why I think running is actually a pretty unattractive sport:

Rat’s/Bird’s nest hair:

Snot gloves – I bought special gloves so I could wipe my snot on them. I did. And I luuuuurrrrve them. I also wash them. Think about it… when you are out shreddin’ the pavement or trail, one’s nose doesn’t discriminate. Especially if it’s cold outside. And I prefer the cold because I run hawt hot. I have used my sleeves, but when you wear a shirt that “wicks” it also wicks snot and that’s just nasty. Shutup. We all make our compromises, people. ;)

I am thinking this post isn’t gonna win anyone over to this “running” thing… BUT this is information that must be shared. 
Continue reading ‘She Ran So Far Away… and Looked Like a Wreck the Entire Time.’

I guess I am. Well, at least the adorable and talented Heather  at Swanky Paper thinks I am!

Have you met Heather’s blog? Have you met her paper line? Delightful, and DEEE-lightful! She has created a lovely paper/stationary line. In her blog she shares about charming finds and just shares stories in a… a… delightful way. It’s one of those blogs I love to check in at because it feels a bit like sunshine there:) So thank you Heather, coming from you – this FABULOUS feels DELIGHTFULLY FABULOUS! Mwah! and MWAH!

Now I get to list 5 things I think are fabulous and 5 fab-o blogs I feel are also… hmmm… what’s the word??? Oh yeah – fabulous!

Continue reading ‘Who’s Fabulous?’

Today has turned out to one of those days that isn’t BAD. Not anywhere near bad. However, it is one of those days where you think about checking the tide table to see if the earth is off too.

You know, a day where you spend the better part of 5 minutes going up and down stairs, in and out of rooms, knocking papers off flat surfaces — all in the hope of finding the cars keys that you are holding in your hands!

Or the kind of day you pick up your kid from preschool and you reach the end of the drive and can’t find your sungalsses and you drive back to see if your sunglasses fell out of the car and for some reason you place your hand on your neck-chest area and find your glasses hanging on your shirt.
Continue reading ‘Not “Bad” but Not Quite Right’

Moms… how many times have we said that to our children? How many times were we exasperated by that answer from our own mothers? The fact of the matter is, it wasn’t until becoming a mother that we realized the loaded reply behind those four powerful words.

I have had the wonderful honor to read Dawn Meehan’s new book set to release in April — only a few days from now: Because I Said So… and Other Tales from a Less-Than-Perfect Parent.

This book takes it’s title from Dawn’s own blog.

Now… I could go on and on and tell you how funny, and charming and wonderful and lovely Miss Dawn is. However, the way I see it, she’s written and published a book — isn’t that enough attention? What about Me? This is My blog, after-all, and I am pretty sure you came here to read about Me. Yes? Dissenters, I tape your mouths.
Continue reading ‘Because I Said So…’

Honestly, this is probably my most difficult confession to-date. I hesitate because I worry you won’t love me anymore. I worry your high (shutup) opinion of me will tank and I will be left to waller alone in all my indentity mid-life “I wanna be a professional hip-hop dancer, but I’d be better at giving medical-walker demonstrations at an aged-person’s convention” crisis.

Despite all my fears… I must confess *holds back*… No. I will tell you. I will own it. I cannot be who You need if I cannot be who I AM. I am an adult woman with three children in her mid*ahem*thirties who…

Wait. Let me start from the beginning. I have gone to the local roller rink a couple of times in the last 2 weeks. Both times there were two young gangstas fellas who ROCKED the hardwood. Both times they suggested this song called “Bird Walk” by a fairly popular and accomplished musical artist –> SouljaBoy, *flashes gang sign* and got their moves on, while on roller blades! I. Know. Shizzle to the tenth power of Awesome!!! *sprays glitter toward sky in an act of reverence*.
Continue reading ‘The Confessional – Turn My Swag On (Bird Walk)’

That latest “rage” over there on the Facebook is this meme where one asks one’s child(ren) a list of questions about oneself. The directions say to write their EXACT answers. Can I just ask, “Why do I put myself in these situations?” SOme kids talk about all the fabulous cookie-making their moms do with them, or the reading, or snuggling. Not my kids. Nope. They tell on me. I suppose it’s my fault. Kids are pretty honest.

Aaaanywho… like the FB friend I am… I did complete the meme. I asked my spawn children 19 very important questions about me. Their answers are listed in order of their age: Joel (9); Olivia (6) & Lucy (4). And I list them here, because — ultimately, their answers made me laugh. I love how well they know me… I love hearing what their opinions are… And I love seeing how each sees me a little differently, depending on their need.

Lucy, Joel, Olivia

1. What is something I always say to you?

J: Get ready for school.

O: That’s mean or nice??? Um… The only thing I can think of is “No.”

L: No peeing in your undies

Continue reading ‘Make Me Laugh Monday – My Children Answer’

Aw-ight. Don’t mess with Jenny. It. Is. Time. No more of this “recession” bidness. Stimulus schtimulus — it’s time to go old school. 

Drats. Didn’t work. Well, at least ya can’t say I didn’t try…

P.S. That’s not even my money. I don’t have any to take a picture of. Grandpa left 10 smackers for each kid. My kids are worth more than me. Maybe they need to be calling the shots over there on the Wall Street.

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All ya’ll. Who’s on Twitter? You on the Twitter? If ya are… am I following you? Are you following me? If not — we need to hook-up, yo!.

If you are not “on” Twitter…. uh…. Why the heck not? Is is because you feel like this guy does?

Twitter kind-of rocks my world. I mean with hashtags such as #tequila, #nothot and #pimpmytweet… how can a girl like me not fall head-over-heels? What? You don’t know what a hashtag is? Oh, baby. You need to hop on the train of 140 character conversation, and also get your hashtag(s) on. 

You want to know who rocked my world the other day? Jenn from Momma on the Rocks — a.k.a @mommy_grrl over there on the Twitter. Not following her? I suggest you do. Do it now. She might pimp your tweet. Were this a tweet about @mommy_grrl, I’d add: #rockmyworld! 

You don’t know what #pimpmytweet means? When someone pimps another tweeters twitter id (say that fast 3 times), one takes a photo of a drawing/written/typed version of someone else’s Twitter ID,  and then uploads, shares and tags it. 

@mommy_grrl TOTALLY PIMPED MY TWEET IN A MOST EXCEPTIONAL WAY. You don’t even know. But you will, because I am going to show you! Get ready. Maybe wear sunglasses because the level of pure-bright-friggin-awesome is potentially blinding:

Jenn… will you marry me? I think after others see this, you are going to receive A LOT of marriage proposals. But I get first dibs, right??? 

I do eat cake by the row. I’ve blogged about it. I even started a group on Facebook for girls like me. You should join. This cake with my Twitter ID… for get the perfect anniversary present, boys. My friend Jenn has romanced me to my core… I mean cake… Twitter… can you feel my heart pounding???

It’s our turn now, fellow Tweeters. I gotsta get mah creative on and get to pimpin’. Who’s in? 

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Proceed with caution. I have the ladies at Where’s My Damn Answer to thank for the direction of this post. 

Why? Because they asked me to guest-post over there and because I am an attention whore a giver, I said, “Fo Shizzle!” When Jenny sees an opportunity to get more attention need…

No. That’s not me in that box. I’m am human, not animal. OK, but… that’s another post.

Continue reading ‘You Have Questions. I Have Answers.’