as are all who enter the bowels of such an establishment. I mean, look… the crazies assemble there:
I must admit, when I have to go there, I enter with all the feelings of dread and despair a toddler must feel… when she must sit on the lap of a strange, large man dressed in red and white fur and ask for gifts. I think I have a new appreciation for the fear of Santa, and especially the Easter Bunny. I digress.
I had to go the Chuck’s yesterday. My daughter had a birthday party to go to. The party was scheduled for 2 o’clock on a Saturday afternoon. Going to Chuck E. Cheese mid-day on a Saturday is no better than deciding to investigate why there is a large bonfire burning in a secluded forest area at midnight on Halloween. The Devil, I tell you. The. Devil.
It was toward the end of the party I went to tally up my 3 year old’s tickets in the ticket-counter machine. I waited behind a young boy as he fed and fed and fed and fed and fed that machine ticket and after ticket after ticket. It was quite cute, actually. He might have been 6 or 7… workin’ hard all on his own.
Out of the blue a woman and her young daughter (perhaps 6 or 7) walk up. The little boy was bending over to straighten out a strip of tickets. While he was bending over, the little girl tried to slip her tickets in the machine… in the middle of his ticket count. I could see the drama unfold if that little girl fed her tickets into the machine of a hard-working little boy without a mother in sight to represent for him.
Calmly. Really. Calmly…. I took my hand and placed it between the ticket hole and the end of the little girl’s ticket strip. Whilst doing so I said, “Oh honey… hold on a second… this boy isn’t quite finished.”
The mom gave me such a look. I thought, “Oh. She’s probably embarrassed because her daughter has such atrocious manners. I’ll just tell her it’s OK, it’s so busy in here it’s hard to tell who’s doing what…”
Was I in for a shock. Ya wanna know what she said? Wanna? Wanna?!!!! She. Said:
Oh my gosh! I can’t believe you did that. You were going to hit my daughter!
*blinking*
*blinking*
*rage brewing*
Now, I don’t know about you, but I kinda feel accusing someone of beating a child is a BFD. Big. Deal. Tho I could have turned away and let this Devil woman fluff her own bed in hell… I HAD to say something.
Are you kidding me? I’m not an idiot. I’m not gonna hit somebody’s kid, who would benefit from that? I just saved your little girl from losing all her precious tickets and YOU…. “LADY”… are a FOOL woman.
I was so hot, especially as she walked away and was all, to her daughter, “Oh my gosh honey… are you OK?”
And I’m thinking, “What friggin’ planet did I land on and when is my ship coming back for me!”
Maybe she didn’t get her rabies shot yet… Sorry that was mean. But friends… when someone responds like that, there has to be something VERY wrong… like having rabies.
Annnnywho… I nixed the ticket redemption, grabbed my 2 girls and high-tailed it out of that Den of Satan. I saw the lady flailing her arms as she re-told her story to her pack of rabid wolves. And honestly, I wasn’t rushing to get out because I was afraid of her… no.
I was rushing to get out cuzza the way my blood was a-boilin’ — I think I now know what Mike Tyson must’ve felt like when he went to bite Evander Hollyfield’s ear. ‘Ol Mike made a bad decision and the way I was feeling, had I stuck around the demonic presence that fills that Pizza Den of the Devil I may have been a poor decision-maker too. Anynohooos, I had filled up on salad, pizza and cake, so the taste of human flesh just didn’t sound all that “appetizing” anyway…
Grrr.
**********
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i can’t stand going to chuckie cheese for the same reason you mentioned, it’s the gateway to hell
Wow, Jenny.. Was this woman wearing a bracelet that stated “hypochondriac?” Thats just nuts. I credit your restraint. And on behalf of the little boy am glad you were there to keep the drama from unfolding. What a ridiculous human.
WOW. What a nutjob. I am impressed with your restraint, and also with the fact that you didn’t start crying with rage, like I have been known to do.
OMG! How did you control yourself? I would’ve said, “I wasn’t going to hit your daughter, but NOW I’m going to hit you, you FREAK!” Wow, yeah, Chuck E. Cheese is not OF the devil; it IS the devil.
OMG – I am NOT believing she said that to you!!! Man, that IS the den of Satan. =S
OMG, where was I? We could have both taken on the pack. You could have the right ear and I could have had the left! She’s lucky I wasn’t within that radius. Koodos for holdin back girl!
GASP!! I gasped audibly and repeatedly reading this!! I would have been rendered speechless!
I also read this with dread because my youngest son turns 7 on Saturday, and when I asked him what he wanted me to make him for his birthday dinner, he said, “Chuck E. Cheese,” and I shuddered visibly and thought exactly what you said – Chuck E. Cheese?! On a Saturday?!
Bonus points for our Chuck E. Cheese? Last year, the manager was arrested (on site, during business hours) for meth possession. Stay classy, Chuck!
She is from Crazytown. No, Stupidville. Maybe she was visiting from Whathafukistan. Idiot beast.
Just. Say. No.
Me and The Husband have forbade our children from having birthday parties there. Bubba Dude brought it up as a possibility for his upcoming birthday and we put the kybosh on that crap. Hellz no!
You are truly the better person. I would have gone off on that harpie.
You TOTALLY ROCK! I’m glad you told her the way it WAS!!!! and then got out of there….before you punched her headlights out…cause I sure woulda been able to do it….one night at the Preds Game, as a “man” AND I use the term loosely, kept giving me dirty looks everytime Tootoo came out on the ice, Dave blew his Tootoo whistle….which you purchase and the money goes to a children’s foundation….part of being a fan of the game! I leaned into Dave and told him about it, so the next time Dave blew his whistle he looke over at him, and I leaned into Dave and told him, ” I’m Pretty sure I CAN TAKE HIM!!!!” What is up with some people??? And this man is a regular fan…So, now Dave sits on that side, and blows the whistle right at him!!!!! We are so NICE!
Are you kidding me??? What a nut job! You should of said, “No way, I was aiming for you!”
Did you know that there are websites that report fights at Chuck E Cheese? It’s that prevalent for adult’s to fight there! Do a search on google for chuck e cheese fights. The Wall Street Journal even did a story on it. That place is the one of the rings of hell, I’m certain of it.
Hey, that’s not funny. Just scary. Post your MMLM so we can have a giggle and put that bad memory behind us. I had a run-in with an MRI machine on Friday that rattled me just the same.
Some people are just plain old crazy. Kuh-RAY-zee.
Wow. Over-reaction much? She is for sure made out of a whole lot of crazy.
Unbelievable. And I am proud of you for standing up to her. I probably would still be there crying.
I think that lady forgot to take her little pill that day. What a wack job! Good for you for restraining yourselves so well.
I refuse to enter the Satan’s Den called Chuck E. Cheese. Fortunately my kids are old enough now that they care nothing about it, either. So there ya go – there’s hope for you. Someday they’ll grow out of Chuck E. (any coincidence that it’s the same name as that creepy doll?) and you won’t have to subject yourselves to that anymore. Whew.