Jenny On the Spot: Caffeinated mom, lover of dancing, glitter and glitter.

on January 31, 2009

in Eats, Facebook, General, I have answers, Swim/Bike/Run, Take My Advice, The Love and Twitter

. 9 Comments

Making Chocolate Milk on the While Sitting on the Floor

Sometimes that is what a mom has to do. Of course, there is a story behind this picture. You can read it in full at Type-A Mom!

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Published

on January 30, 2009

in Mutha' Hood and Type-A Mom

. 3 Comments

The Confessional – A Row of Cake

I confess. A few weeks ago, I was feeling weak. Very. Very. Weak. I wanted cake. I wanted me some moist yellow cake with yummy chocolate frosting. I tried to be a good girl for the first several days. I tried to make substitutions for this very specific craving… a few chocolate chips… an apple with peanut butter… a couple of graham crackers dipped in cold milk… All were feeble attempts to keep the full caloric kick of a big piece of cake away from the body I would like to shave a few more pounds off of.

However — I caved… I caved in an epic sort of way. I caved in such a way… I… I…

My craving was so specific. In an effort to satiate this craving, but still maintain a level of “good” I even looked at the local market, the nice one that sells nummy cakiness by the delightful piece. Nope. Wasn’t working for me. I wanted a yellow cake, made from a box… amply frosted. And I was pretty sure *gasp… wait for it…. wait for it…. here it comes… *

I needed a whole row. Not one piece of cake. A. WHOLE. FRIGGIN’. ROW. OF. CAKE.

Don’t judge me. Some folks need a cigarette. This folk needed a row of cake. Some folk need a salad. This folk… needed a row of cake.

I decided to stop the insanity. I baked myself a yellow cake… straight from the box. **Baking tip: add one tablespoon of mayonnaise to give your cake a suprior level of moistness. Trust me.** I made myself some of the rockinest frosting of all frostingness as well.

I made this cake with the intent to indulge in an entire row. The night I made her, she became mine, that gorgeous row of simple carbs… slathered in more caloric divinity. My very own row of cake…

And the next day… I gloried in another row of cake. The third day… glory! again as another row of cake danced all the way to my belly… and also another one piece. Just one piece plus a row, though… I do have boundaries, people.

One of my Facebook friends read a note I wrote on FB about my recent “cake incident”. She wrote, “Let’s start a FB group called “Girls Who Eat Cake by the Row”! Guess what. There is now such a group. The description reads:

This group is for real women… Real women with real hunger. Real women with real needs. Real women who are not afraid to not just eat a whole piece of cake… but women who eat an ENTIRE ROW OF CAKE.

Yes, sometimes we say, “Oh. No just half a slice for me.” However, ladies…. HOW.EVER. There are days… Oh, there are days that we just need to satiate the beast within — and eat a whole friggin’ row of cake.

So. Whether it is a row of cake, a row of brownies, a row of cookies, three fistfuls of chocolate chips or spoon(s)ful of frosting straight from the can… Girlfriend, you have found your home with us.

We don’t do this everyday, but we do this. Here at “Girls Who Eat Cake by the Row” we recognize that sometimes a girl just need to pass on one piece of cake and just… GO FOR THE WHOLE ROW.

*snarf snarf*

Go here if you would like to join us!

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Published

on January 28, 2009

in Eats, Fa' Real?, Facebook, General, The Butt Series and The Confessional

. 21 Comments

My Son’s Newfound Love of Alliteration

Oh dear. I have ruined my son. My son is made out of Awesome. He is just like his mother. Not only does he crave order, controlled chaos, predictability… (but not cake — what’s that all about? I digress…) — he also loves alliterative titles…. Just like his Mama. You know this about me… Let’s just review my week of alliterative observances:

Make Me Laugh Monday here on my blog
I simply adore Two for Tuesdays at a local coffee shop… That’s just smart.
Let’s not overlook Wait, What about Jenny! Wednesdays
Thippin’ Thursdays – water or whatnot… I prefer the whatnot.
Jenny is “Fabulous” Fridays
So… Jenny is So, So Awesome Saturdays
and let’s not overlook — Jenny is Super-deee-duper Sunday

I am an alliterative fool, I tell ya. And my little apple of a son has not fallen far from his Mams tree. Lately, the boy is all about planning our meals based on alliteration.

Mom! It’s Mexican Monday!!! Milkshake Monday! Taco Tuesday! Soup Saturday!

He has had so many suggestions, I simply cannot remember them all. And Sunday it all came to a head. He sat quietly at the kitchen table for lunch. His 6 year-old sister begged to have a coke with her lunch. I was all, “Psha! Whatever! No. Way!” And she was all, “But JOEL has a coke!”

Whutwhut?

“Joel!!! Why do you have a coke with your lunch? You didn’t even ask!”

He casually looked over his shoulder and answered so innocently and matter-of-factly that even the staunchest, most jaded judge would have let the criminal go,

It’s Soda Sunday.

*Blinking* It was just Soda Sunday and that’s how it was. Not bad. Not good. Just was. My husband and I just looked at each other… giggled… shrugged our shoulders, and let Olivia have her soda too. “Go ahead, Olivia… it looks like it really IS “Soda Sunday”.

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Published

on January 27, 2009

in Awesome, Eats, General, Joel, Mutha' Hood, Olivia and Spawn

. 14 Comments

Make Me Laugh Monday – Self-Affirmations

It’s Make Me Laugh Monday, and it’s time to talk about self-affirmation. Have you ever had one of those weeks months years lifetimes days where you just needed a pat on the shoulder… A little “You can do it, cowboy/girl”… Perhaps a ribbon and lolliop? A sash? Or maybe you’re like me and just need a trophy, an official-looking certificate and a red carpet to make you feel validated that the outfit you wore last week did, in fact, match. Some of us need more validation than others I suppose…

I don’t know. Everyone is so different.

One thing I am sure of is this — there are so many great ideas… great plans that are just… just… OUT THERE. Out there for anyone to eat up. Anyone. Oh, I don’t know, maybe something like this:

Yeah. Like that. Go ahead. Type that URL into your browser. This CD is still available to the under-appreciated public. Act now so you can get your Puzzle Affirmative Jewelery – declaring your courage, your unstoppability… declaring the fact that without you — the puzzle is incomplete. But that’s not it. Nooooo… You can also get the “Because of You” CD, where a woman with a velvety voice entices you to realize your value,

“Because of you… I wake up smiling *crowd cheers*. Because of you… I am the happiest I have ever been! *more cheering from a wildly appreciative crowd* Because of you, I know why I am here!… To LOVE YOU and to be LOVED BY YOU!!! *cheers, cheers, and more cheers*.”

It’s true. Go here… and you can listen for yourself.

My Public? Can I just save us all $24.95? Read this in the most sultry and relaxed voice you can muster Now, go to your mirror…

As you look in your mirror… look into your eyes. Your beautiful eyes…. Smile at You. Tilt your head… No… the other way… There… That’s your good side…. So pretty…. Run your fingers through your hair. Tossel it a bit. Doesn’t that feel good? Now giggle. Just giggle. Throw your head back and giggle… Now look back into that mirror. Ignore the toothpaste spit on that mirror. Rather, focus on your clean, vibrant teeth… Oh yes, they are white… and clean… and lovely. Now smile. Tilt your head again. Lean forward and blow your gorgeous self a kiss… Nod. Like you mean it. Tell your reflection, “Yes.”

Just say “Yes”… Linger on the “Ssssss” in “Yesssss”…

Do all of this — Just… Because… You… Can… Take a deep breath. Make sure you are still smiling. Now repeat after me as I repeat the words of the original self-affirmer, Stuart Smalley… “I am good enough. I am smart enough, and doggonit… people like me!”

Now go forth… Go forth with laughter and tell everyone about Me and my blog. And also comment. Just… Because… You… Can… Yessssss…

My heavens! You are GORGEOUS! Absolutely breathtaking… *Jennyonthespot gasps for air*

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Want in on Make Me Laugh Monday? It’s simple! Plug your name and the URL to YOUR SPECIFIC funny post from your blog into the Mr. Linky below. Yesssss…. let’s spread the laughter all around this glorious interwebzzesses…

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Published

on January 26, 2009

in Awesome, Beauty - ha!, Delusions of Grandeur, General, Make Me Laugh Monday, Ridiculous and The Love

. 9 Comments

Creating More Open Space on Your Calendar on Type-A Mom

My most recent post is up on Type-A Mom. It’s about the importance of allowing room on your calendar… for important stuff… When we fill our calendars to the brim there is little room for surprises, emergencies, even just the little things. Want more? Click here for the full article.

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Continue reading ‘Male “Whale Tail” Fail’

on January 25, 2009

in Mutha' Hood and Type-A Mom

. 1 Comment

Male “Whale Tail” Fail

This, my friends, is a story in which I share about an EPIC “whale tail” fail. If you are not familiar with the term “whale tail”, here is how it is described on Wikipedia:

Whale tail is the Y-shaped waistband of a thong or g-string when visible above the waistline of low-rise jeans, shorts, or a skirt that resembles a whale’s tail.

I believe all reasonable fashion-savvy individuals would agree – it is not to fashionable to allow one’s undies to peek above, around, or over one’s pants (or shorts or whatnot…). The style of undies does not really matter, underwear is called underwear because we wear it UNDER our outer WEAR. Simple, yes? …. Uh, not for everyone.

As happenstance would have it… as I was preparing to drive out of the parking lot of the local grocery store… I saw what could be on the of the greatest “male whale tail fails” of all time. My youngest had refused to buckle herself up, so I turned around in the car to tell her, “Oh. Yes. You. Will! buckle your own bad self, little princess!”

I had no idea that turning around would present me with the photo-opp of a lifetime. As I turned to “discuss” buckling options with my year 3 year old, I saw him… I saw IT.

Published

on January 24, 2009

in Fa' Real?, General, Humiliation, Not So Much, The Butt Series and iPhone

. 27 Comments

Loving Your Children

Hi all! I have an article up at Type-A Mom! It’s about taking time to love on your kids… in about 600 words or so :) Click here to go to the article. Have a delightful weekend…

Be sure to tune in tomorrow. I spied a fella in the local grocery store parking lot who made a very poor clothing choice. Trust me, it’s so bad… it’s good. But still very bad. *shaking head*

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Continue reading ‘A letter about my skills as a blooming writer and illustrator.’

on January 23, 2009

in Type-A Mom

. 2 Comments

A letter about my skills as a blooming writer and illustrator.

I can’t top what my teacher had to say about me in the early 80’s… just read for yourself:

It’s true. I do have a penchant for creative storytelling… And just for the heck of it, I’d like to mention there is a big difference between telling a story CREATIVELY and LYING. Just wanted to point that out. *ahem*

Published